Sunday, January 01, 2006

New Year's Eve...Sheep Style!

Crazy Aunt Purl often writes of her life at Chez Spinster, but I can't help note that she certainly seems to have more of a life than I. Famous houseguests, wild and wacky scenes from Stitch 'N Bitch captured forever in Blogdom... I submit that she is, perhaps, not exactly the spinsterish chick she thinks she is. I mean really, just look at her in the pix! She's freakin' adorable!!!!!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is how a true spinster rings in the New Year:

Scene: New Years Eve, in Anytown Near the Beach, Maine. It is 3:00 in the afternoon and a groggy sheep is just awakening from her two hour nap. Here is her account of what happens next.

3:05- Realize it's New Year's Eve. Wonder if that weird "nap-taste" in her mouth will last into '06.

4:00- Knit.

5:00- Realize that there is a Law And Order: Criminal Intent Marathon on today!!! Remainder of this scenario must be read with the understanding that this is the background music.

7:00- Eat over half a box of Banquet Frozen Fried Chicken.

7:15- Feel slightly sick. Put on bright pink Kitty Kat pajamas.

7:30- Feeling better. Polish off the remainder of a box of holiday chocolates.

8:00- Feed Cats. Tell them that this is the last time you will feed them this year. Laugh maniacally. They don't get it.

8:26- Clip pink Ipod to pink pj's and dance around the living room. Pretend said living room is an exclusive club. Become disturbed when Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself" comes up on the playlist. Abandon this activity.

8:45- Put ginger ale in a champagne glass. Realize that a champagne glass doesn't hold very much. Go back to drinking ginger ale out of chipped glass.

9:00- Begin plying the Lincoln using the new tensioned Lazy Kate...AWESOME!!!

9:30- Play Chuzzle on the computer. Discover that Verizon Games on Demand now has Magic Ball. Lose all sense of time.

10:30- Sit the cats down for a heart to heart regarding their usefulness in the upcoming year. Explain that they must start pulling their own weight.

10:32-Cats wander off.

10:33- Return to computer games.

12:02- The opening theme music to L&O:CI leads to the startling realization that the transition to 'o6 has been missed. Make a hasty resolution to throw away all the holiday chocolates on Monday. Well, except the dark chocolate...that has anitioxidents and we need those.

12:06- Begin consuming the limited edition Chocolate/Mint Hershey's Kisses. 'Twould be a shame to waste those in the upcoming chocolate purge.

1:00- Tire of computer games, shut down and head for bed. It is a new start to a whole new year!!!

Dear Aunt Purl, I know that I shall never have your wit and ability to entertain with the written word. And I certainly will never be a cute blonde. But the spinster thing...that I got goin' on!! Anyone who reads Laurie's blog knows that this hasn't been her best year; here's hoping that '06 treats you better, girl. Your faithful readers wish you well!


1 comment:

mrichme said...


This sounds like a rivetting "rockin" New Year's Eve. Ours wasn't much better and we didn't even make it to midnight :(