Wednesday, February 29, 2012

WNBP: Stuff You Should Know

Well, here we are.  Another Wednesday night is upon us and I am about to regale you with another Bullet Post full to the brim with interesting tidbits.  Most of it is stuff of which I am certain you are simply dying to know.

Seriously.  This isn't just me being completely egocentric again like that other time.  I really do believe you will live a better and fuller life for having learned this stuff.

And, if not, I would ask that you humor me.  I went back to school this week and none of the kids in my class seem even remotely interested in anything I have to say.  I'm starting to suffer from a little bit of the Reality Syndrome...

*I think you would be interested to know that I am writing this on my television.

*Not really.  I'm writing it on the new computer, but it is showing up on my television because that is what I am using as a monitor.

*I got a Mac Mini.

*After two years of fiddling around and trying to figure out how best to replace the sadly crashed laptop, this seemed like an affordable solution.  Most of my day-to-day surfing I do on the iPad these days.  After much research and number crunching, the Mini was clearly the best option for me.

*Went to the Apple Store last Thursday.  Was assigned an Apple Genius to assist me after apprising the greeter of my intentions.

*Then spent more time than was really necessary trying to convince him that the new Mini does, in fact, allow me to upgrade the memory at a later time. (and quite easily, too)  The conversation went something like this:

Apple Genius:  Does not.

Sheepish Annie:  Does too.

AG:  Does not.

SA:  Does Too.

AG:  Does not.  Hey, Other Apple Genius!  Can you add more memory to the Mac Mini?

OAG:  Yup.

AG:  Oh...

SA (doing a little head-bob-finger-wave movement) Oh, yeah, I TOLD you so!!!

*Then I had to write a check because my school's new direct deposit system is slower than the old one and that pretty much shut down the whole store.

*In case you are wondering, it will take two Apple Geniuses to process a check.

*I kind of felt badly, though.  My AG was a genuinely nice kid who apologized several times for not knowing enough to really be a helpful kind of genius.  He even thanked me when it was over for, "helping him to learn something new today."

*While the new computer isn't really as convenient as a laptop, it was a much more economical solution and is quite the kick-butt system compared to my dearly departed machine.

*I already had the keyboard and mouse.

*I think I may have spent more time explaining the memory situation to my AG than I did when explaining leap year to my students today.

*But that may have been due to my being less invested in the latter discussion and more willing to give up.

*Here's a fun fact you might want to know:  Back in October, there were little trick-or-treaters stepping over snowbanks to reach the candy.

*Then it became The Winter Of Green Grass And Balmy Breezes.

*Not much of a winter at all.

*I further think you will be fascinated by the idea that I have no plans for going to school tomorrow.

*Big storm a-brewing!

*The long kind.  The kind that starts on a Wednesday night and goes into a Thursday night.

*The kind where actual snowplows are required.

*We haven't had much need for snowplows this winter.  Or snow days.

*Don't get me wrong.  I think I'd rather get out of school a little bit earlier this year.

*Last year was so long I actually contemplated throwing a Fourth Of July party for the kids.

*That said, I am not going to argue when the call comes tomorrow morning.

*Long day at the Learn-a-matorium.  Lots of meetings for Ms. Sheep.  Not all of them pleasant.

*Longer day for my staff who had to stay in the room and cover the class because the little darlings were less than well behaved in my absence.

*Frankly, a snow day might be just the thing to keep me fully staffed.

*I'm kidding.  Only one of them actually threatened to quit and I'm almost positive that she was kidding.


*Weirdest thing said to me by a student in the history of ever:

I don't want you to lick me.  I can only imagine where that tongue has been over the years.

*I suppose if I'd offered to lick him this might have made some sense.

*I have never offered to lick a student.  I do not foresee any possible circumstance under which I might think, "Gee, I should clean that child like a mother cat."

*But the way he said it makes me wonder if he somehow fears my overwhelming need to start lapping randomly away so I probably should take a good long look at my behavior over the last few days.

*The second part of his statement was even more disturbing.

I'll bet you've used that tongue to eat BROCCOLI!!!  Gross!!

*You can see where I might find this whole conversation somewhat odd.

*I hardly ever eat broccoli...

*I am knitting a dishcloth.  I started it over vacation.

*I though you might like to know that.  This is a knitting blog in spite of the sad lack of yarn related activity going on around here.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous

*His adoration for this bit of greenery exceeds that of Romeo and Juliet.  He makes that pair look like rank amateurs in the field of Lovey-Dovey.

*Hence, I frequently find him hanging from the drapes and eyeing his beloved longingly.

*Call me a cold-hearted hater of love, but I do not approve of this relationship.

*I have forbidden it.

*The spider plant doesn't seem to care one way or another.  It hasn't said much on the subject.

*It might be playing hard to get, but I suspect it really isn't interested in having its leaves love-nibbled down to nubs.

*Since going back to school, I haven't been reading as much.

*I am almost finished with Butcher Bird: A Novel Of The Dominion, though.

*I've been meaning to get to that one for a while.  Glad I did.  It is a nice change of pace from some of the stuff I've been reading (and admittedly enjoying) of late.

*It kind of reminds me of Neverwhere: A Novel.  At least at the beginning.

*Fair Warning:  This author has a very flexible notion of Good and Evil, not to mention the concept of Hell.  He doesn't always portray The Bad Guy Downstairs as the villain and that might not be a comfortable thing for some.

*It's well handled, though and certainly thought provoking.  If you've read any of his other stuff, you'll know what I mean.

*I guess you probably already know about Davy Jones.  

*I'm sort of devastated.  As was The Organized Teaching Assistant.  We sang Monkees songs together.

*The Cheerful Teaching Assistant, who is still in her 20s, said we were crazy and who the heck were we talking about anyway?

*Yeah.  I'm old.  Old enough that I'm not going to even do links on this one.  You either know what I'm talking about or you don't.  I can't bear to think of someone having to chase down a link to know that Davy Jones dying is a bad thing.

*Marcia Brady would understand.  

*And no.  I'm not going to do a link for that either. 

*Don't make me come over there.

*Seriously.  Don't.  I'm old and it would take me half an hour to even get out of my recliner to beat you about the head and shoulders with my walker.

So there's all the stuff I think you need to know for this week.  I am chock full of interesting factoids tonight, aren't I?  Now I think I shall switch the TV back over to regular cable-type viewing and enjoy what I believe will the a very nice Night Before A Snow Day.  I think that this storm is one we can count on, but we should always keep in mind that these things can change.  Weather is fickle, after all.

If that is the case, I trust you all know to not try to discuss the matter with me as I trundle off to school...


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

WNBP: The Favorite

I am in a good mood.  I believe it is this fine state of being which allows me to have a plethora of "favorites" right now.  It is also what keeps me from spiraling into a state of despair over what may or may not be an incoming cold which will undoubtedly take hold just in time for me to go back to school where I have to teach unwilling pupils who won't have the slightest bit of sympathy for me.

That's when the mood will turn.  Let's enjoy my blissful demeanor while it lasts, 'kay?  Here's your Wednesday Night Bullet Post for this week, complete with all the things that are making me happy at the moment:

*I am on vacation.

*Do I really need to explain why this makes me happy?

*I should hope not!

*I will, however, mention that February Vacation is one of my all time favorites.

*It is the first vacation of the school year that doesn't come with "obligations" and "baking requirements."

*I enjoy going places and sharing baked goods.  I really do.

*But it is ever so nice to have a vacation where the oven is on by choice rather than holiday necessity.

*And there is half priced Valentine's Day candy to enjoy.

*I was supposed to go out shopping with The World's Greatest Stylist And Life Coach on Saturday.

*She is my favorite stylist and would be even if she wasn't my only stylist.

*I kind of screwed up on the date and had to reschedule our trip.

*I didn't want to leave the house one little bit yesterday.  I wanted to hibernate and not bake things.

*But I'd missed the weekend trip and couldn't let the woman down again.  I found my shoes and dug out a restaurant gift card I knew she'd be happy to help me use up.

*It was a good day.

*When she saw me, she said, "Your hair looks g...  Well, it's gotten, um...long."

*I wanted to say something along the lines of, "Oh, really?  And is it my fault that you suddenly decided you had to take two months off, leaving me and my tresses to our own devices?"

*I did not say that.

*The rules of etiquette state that it is selfish to say things like that to the woman who just had back surgery and who can barely stand or sit in one position for more than ten minutes at a time.

*It is bad form.  Seriously bad form.  Also indicative of an egocentric nature beyond anything that should be allowed in society.

*The rule is that you load her carefully into your car and take her anywhere she wants to go.

*You carry her bags all over the mall.

*You find her a seat near the window at the restaurant.  Preferably one away from the rowdy kids who are enjoying their school vacation.

*You get her settled on the couch when the trip is over and tell the dogs to be nice and quiet so mommy can rest.

*That is what you do even if you can't really see much because your bangs are hanging in your eyes and obscuring your vision to the point of near blindness.

*I really did have fun.  Plus I got a new wireless keyboard that I love beyond all reason and which I couldn't have purchased anywhere else but at the very mall to which we travelled.

*The new keyboard is one of my favorite things.

*Apple Wireless Keyboard MC184LL/B [NEWEST VERSION]

*Now I'm wondering why I didn't use it to type this blog post...

*I'm cleaning up the crap around here.

*The walls are closing in on me.  I'm down to paths leading from couch to bathroom to kitchen.

*Not really.  It just feels that way.  Sort of...

*New rule:  Nothing new comes into the manse until five things leave.

*I'm purging.  Purging hard.  Purging like they want to put me on that hoarders show and the TV crew is on the way to document my shame.

*I had to throw away five things before I bought my new favorite keyboard whilst out with my favorite stylist.

*I also bought a new wireless mouse, but that's OK.   I had some wiggle room due my having thrown away a lot of stuff over the past few days.

*I have a chart.  I keep track.

*Will throw the chart away when I'm done.

*Shampooed the carpets on Monday.

*It's fifty degrees and sunny these days so I can open the windows.

*Plus, I love the way freshly cleaned carpets smell.

*Winter+closed windows+cats+everything else=stinky carpets

*I am not throwing away my carpet cleaner.  I love my carpet cleaner.

*It's a cheap model, but it does the trick.

*I use an e reader.  I can buy all the books I want and not have to throw anything away.

*Oddly enough, I haven't read as much as I thought I would during vacation.

*Must be all the gallivanting about and carpet cleaning...

*Still plowing through the Dreg City books.

*Finished As Lie the Dead (Dreg City, Book 2)

*Okay.  It's not great literature.  It's just great Urban Fantasy.

*Main character and all her cohorts are not exactly easy to like, though.

*Didn't stop me from picking up Another Kind of Dead.

*I'll probably take a break after this and try something different, though.


*I think...

*We'll see...

*I hate to commit to a course of action then change my mind.

*But there are some new books coming out that are from my favorite authors and they might just tempt me away from Evy's situation with the Triad.

*In case you were wondering, the cats sleep all day while I am gone.  

*At least that it what they do when I am home during the time I am normally gone.

*Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty takes my spot on the bed.

*Very Complicated Kitty crashes on the couch and periodically shoots dirty looks at people who try to share the couch with him.

*Neither are thrilled with the purging process and the noise that comes with it.

*That is not their favorite thing.

*In case you were wondering.

*I, on the other hand, am quite thrilled with how things are going over here.

And so ends another Wednesday Night here at Sheepish Annie's House Of Happy.  We are now into the down slide of the vacation, but that's Okay.  I'm going to enjoy every single last second of this time and go back to school next week secure in the knowledge that my carpets smell like a fresh spring meadow.  That and being able to get to the door without tripping over crap I've accumulated since 1992 will carry my good mood through almost to the next vacation!

Maybe...I might need to stock up on a couple of favorite things before the week is out just in case.


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

WNBP: The Week Before.

I have kind of a love/hate relationship with The Week Before School Vacation.  It is certainly most awesome to contemplate the joy that is my upcoming week of rest.  Who doesn't love a week of rest, for crying out loud?  However, to get to that point, one must traverse the five working days prior to the vacationing portion of the festivities.  Furthermore, one must do this whilst in the company of young teens who have even less patience regarding the whole thing than the teacher.

This is..."trying."

I believe that it is about time to think in shorthand.  The Wednesday Night Bullet Post is always good for that, right?

*Today was not a good day.  It was one of those "trying" days I mentioned earlier.

*Any day you require the assistance of the school safety officer, you can honestly say that it was not a good day.

*I required that plus a bit more in the assistance department so I can honestly say that I had something that goes beyond "trying."

*There is really only one thing to do when things devolve to this state:  Limit your exposure.

*I  put in for sick time tomorrow a while ago, but resubmit the request just to be sure...

*I have to go see Dr. Judy.

*And buy Discounted Valentine's Day Candy.

*I deserve DVDC.

*I also deserved Spaghettios for dinner tonight.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty holds fast to many beliefs.

Among them, the principle of "I can't see you, so you can't see me!"

*Was anyone else sort of taken aback by the death of Whitney Houston?

*Not surprised...not really.  I guess we all could have guessed she wasn't the picture of health and clean living.

*But, still.  She was Whitney.

*I'm of an age where I can remember her as something other than the butt of media jokes or bad reality television.

*I was around when Whitney Houston was hitting every note and making it do her bidding.

*When even someone who was more into dating punk guys who would horrify her parents and not really following the pop music scene might stop and say, "Holy crap, that girl can sing!"

*It's sad on so many levels...

*I cannot even begin to tell you how much I am looking forward to vacation next week.  I'm not even worried about how much work I somehow have to finish in the one day I have left before the school shuts down.

*It is really shutting down this time, too.



*All shutting down.

*For some reason, they are taking the whole thing quite literally this time around.

*I mean, I didn't require a written warning to not come to school next week, but it was still nice to get one.

*Best line of the week courtesy of The Cheerful Teaching Assistant:

"My husband told me he wasn't worried.  He knows he can run faster scared than I can run mad."

*I do love our little Valentine's Day chats!

*I am still listening to 11/22/63: A Novel in the car during commute time.

*This is a very long story.  Very well read.

*But long.

*Really enjoyable.

*But long.

*Good commuter book!

*At home and in print, I am really loving Three Days to Dead.

*I sometimes think how nice it would be to just wake up as someone else.

*Especially after a day like today!

*But now I can't help but think that this would not be the best thing.

*Maybe even something like the worst thing, considering what you apparently have to go through to get to the Somebody Else stage.

*I've got two books going at the moment.  I never do that.  It is too confusing.

*But I downloaded the Kindle app on my iPad and wanted something to read on that so I got Deadtown (A Deadtown Novel).

*Also good, but not as good as the other one so I'm running behind on it.  I keep going back to the first.

*Which is getting confusing...

*I need a vacation to sort it all out.

*And if I can't have one of those right now, then I will settle for one day off for a doctor's appointment before going back for one day then having a vacation.

*Either one will work.

I'm all tapped out.  I can't think of anything else I was supposed to tell you.  I'm sure there was more, but I fear the need for time off has driven it all out of my brain.  There's always next week, I suppose.  As I may have mentioned, it is the week before vacation.

In case you were wondering...


Wednesday, February 08, 2012

WNBP: Still Rockin' The Ratings Here!!!

I almost forgot about you tonight.  I am still very much enmeshed in my Nielson Ratings Duties and therefore busy beyond that which most humans can comprehend.  Heavy is the head that bends forward so one might squint at one's viewing diary and fill in those little blank spaces.

However, I didn't forget and I am going to take a break from television in order that I might take care of this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  I trust you will forgive me if it is somewhat short and scattered.  I've mostly been watching television over here.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty is feeling neglected.  He is expressing his frustration by locating the almost cleverly hidden toy basket and selecting his own playthings. looks cute.  But we do not allow kitties to get their own toys.  That does not end well.  We carefully select a few toys for the kitties and almost cleverly hide the rest.

*This has been going on for days and there are toys everywhere.  I haven't the time to deal with it.

*No.  I did not watch the Superbowl.  There will be no Superbowl next year.  Once my viewing diary is returned, the Bosses Of Television will see that the Superbowl was unwatched and they will let it go.

*I did buy lots of snacks, though.  You can still eat snacks on what used to be Superbowl Sunday.  You just won't get football.

*Wait...I need to change the channel.  This is my job now.  I maybe lied a little when I said I was taking a break from television.

*Actually multi-tasking.

*Conversation with Mr. Assistant Principal last Thursday:

Ms. Sheep:  Hello Mr. Assistant Principal.  How are you?

Mr. Assistant Principal:  I am fine.  Better for knowing that you are here tending to the classroom needs of that most challenging group of students you have in your care.

Ms. Sheep:  I regret to inform you, sir, that I will be out of that classroom for the next week.  I came in today only to provide you notice in person.  You see, MAP, I must stay home and watch television lest the world as we know it come to a crashing halt.  I am doing it for you and yours, sir.  For all of America, really.

MAP:  You got suckered into doing that Nielson thing, didn't you?

SA:  It is an honor.  You are just jealous.  And I have to stay home.  For a week.  For the children who might never know the joys of reality television if I fall asleep at the switch.

MAP:  A week?  Really?

SA:  Well...maybe it doesn't exactly say I have to stay home and watch TV.  But I'm pretty sure that is what they meant.  And besides, I already took their money.

MAP:  Oh, yes.  I hear that pays really well.  Five bucks, right?

SA:  (holding a can aloft):  See this soda?  This is a Nielson soda, buddy!  I can't go back now!!!  I'm in too deep!

MAP:  I will see you tomorrow.

SA:  You hate America, don't you?

*That is why I took the Superbowl away from him.  Plus he's a Giants fan...

*I was out on Monday, though.  I had a teacher's workshop day.

*I am still cleaning up the mess from that little adventure.

*Kids don't like it when Ms. Sheep is away.

*Or they like it a lot and take advantage.  It is one of those...

*I hurt my hip and knee on Saturday when I was making the bed and not watching TV like I was supposed to.

*In the words of a sixth grader, "Oh, you've always got something that hurts.  First it's your nose...then it's your your hip.  Who can keep up?"

*He's not wrong.  I am slowly crumbling into dust here.

*Wait...I need to update my viewing diary.  What will happen to reruns of Seinfeld if I forget to do that???

*I'm not sure just what might happen, but the Nielson people called me on Sunday night when I wasn't watching the SuperBowl to check up on me.  It sounds like other people are maybe needing a little more "supervision" with this process.

*I'm not joking.  I seriously mean that they needed to check up on people.  There have been issues.

*The lady was shocked to learn that I was managing without further direction.  I received a great deal of praise.

*I basked in it and maybe even preened a little bit before realizing that I am now the only thing that stands between the viewers and total anarchy.

*Haven't slept well since...

*Still reading, though.  I don't want a little thing like television viewing to get in the way of literacy.

*I was pleased to learn that Undone Deeds (Connor Grey) was finally out.

*But saddened to realize how little I recalled from the last book I read in this series.  I'm picking it up as I go along, though.

*Since so much of my time is now taken up with television, I am still using audio books to fill in the gaps.

*When you only get one credit per month as part of an audio book club membership, you try to get the most bang for the buck as is possible.

*11/22/63: A Novel fit the bill.  Stephen King isn't known for brevity in his writing.  This bad boy clocks in at around thirty hours!

*That's a good, long listen!  Especially since I only tune in during the work week and there is a school vacation this month, to boot!!

*Oh, and did I mention that it is rather fantastic?  I've been a King fan since before Way Back When, but am finding him a bit hit or miss over the last couple of years.

*Thus far, this one is a definite "hit."  It is spellbinding and maybe just a little bit mind-bending.  

*Oh, and I'm also still working on those handwarmers for The World's Greatest Stylist and Life Coach.  It is hard, though.

*I can't help but think I've made a boo-boo.  Something looks "off."

*But this is a pattern I wrote down myself a while back and never really worried about remembering.  I figured it was stuck in my noggin forever and ever.

*And maybe it is...but I can't tell for sure.  

*When I know, you'll know.

*You'll probably hear the shrieking and wailing over your own television.

OK.  I gotta go now.  I've got a fluffy cat flinging toys around the living room and we are coming up on a channel change.  The good news is that tomorrow is the last day of my Nielson ratings duties.  All I have to do then, is copy out my local channel line up and mail in the diary.  It will all be over and I can pat myself on the back for a job well done.

I wonder if I can take a vacation?  Maybe a week or so?  I should ask Mr. Assistant Principal...


Wednesday, February 01, 2012

WNBP: I Am Very Important Right Now

Greetings from the land of Random Thought Streams And Delusions Of Grandeur.  I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my little blog and reassure you that I am really just a humble being much like the rest of humanity.  My Very Important Work should not deter you in the least from relaxing and enjoying yourself.

We don't stand on ceremony here at Sheepish Annie's place and certainly not on the night of a Wednesday Night Bullet Post.

*OK.  Let's just get this out of the way now.  Yes.  It's true.

*I am a Nielson Family.

*I'll just give you a minute to "oohh" and "ahh" in whatever order and for whatever duration you feel appropriate.

*I forgot that I am part of the grand tradition of Nielson ratings until my packet and payment arrived today.

*Now I have very little time to get the message to Mr. Principal and Mr. Assistant Principal that I can't come to school.

*I have to stay at home for a week and watch television.

*It is my civic duty to protect the television programming we all hold dear.  One little slip of the remote and suddenly we no longer have Reality TV.

*Besides, I have already earmarked that sweet five bucks for lunch tomorrow and that makes the whole thing a binding contract.

*I'm sure that my supervisors will understand and release me from my teaching duties without issue.

*Of course, the fact that my class has been so out of control lately that people no longer want to walk down the hallway to get to the library could be a problem...

*But this is by God television we're talking about here!  I think that some things supersede stuff like education and keeping kids from burning down the bathrooms for a week!!!

*The directions don't specifically say I have to stay home and watch TV for a whole week, but I'm sure that is what they intended.  It's implied.

*Last summer, I braved the heat and canned a lot of carrots, beans 'n whatnot.

*I was miserable because it was a heatwave but I did it anyway.

*So glad now.  I do love eating summer produce in winter.

*Note:  Now that I am in control of future television programming, there will probably be lots of shows about canning summer produce.

*We had a staff meeting after school today.

*That was before I came home and was reminded that I am in charge of television starting tomorrow so I wasn't preoccupied with that.

*Imagine my shock when I glanced to my left and saw that the school counselor was looking up information on local head shops.

*She had reason for doing this and it all made sense later when I asked about it, but it still seemed kind of funny at the time.

*I am easily entertained during staff meetings.  I'll do pretty much anything to avoid the stated agenda.

*Note:  When I am done reinventing television, there will not be shows about meetings.  There will, however, be shows that you can watch during meetings so you won't get bored and wonder about why the school counselor is suddenly researching bongs.

*On Sunday, I required the assistance of a three year old to help me figure out a car seat.

*Note:  Car seats are complicated and boring and will never be on television.  I will mandate shows about kids staying home with sitters because I'm pretty sure that's how the good Lord intended it.

*Wait...I have to go stir my veggies.

*Note:  Cooking shows will continue.  No need to worry.  I'll see to it.

*Even people who watch TV for a living read.  I read.

*I've been enjoying the Kate Daniels series.

*Can't recall where I told you I left off, but you will probably be thrilled to know that I finished Magic Strikes (Kate Daniels, Book 3) over the weekend.

*Now I'm working on Magic Bleeds (Kate Daniels, Book 4).

*If you are sick of sparkly, shiny vampires who strut around like they are all that and a bag of O positive, then this is the series for you!

*If you sometimes think, "Sheesh! Where can I find a book that highlights the virtues of were-animals that aren't wolves???", well come on down and enjoy the party!  I gotcha a lion with attitude right here!!

*Plus Kate is wicked snarky and I love that in a main character.  She makes me giggle.

*I did not giggle when I finished listening to Lost Boys: A Novel.

*It took me a minute to realize that I was in the midst of great turmoil and tragedy.  I'd been lulled into a false sense of security.  This is not exactly the kind of moment you need to have right before turning into the middle school parking lot where you are expected to exit your vehicle in a dignified manner then educate children without weeping.

*It was a long journey to that ending and I know not everyone appreciates this novel, but I was kind of impressed.

*Maybe it's better as an audio book?  I dunno...

*Note:  TV will continue to have an audio component.  I think that enhances the viewing experience and will keep it.  You are very welcome.

*Note:  If you are not someone who utilizes the audio portion of the television experience, please disregard the previous statement.  And continue to enjoy the closed captioning because I plan on leaving that just as it is, too.

I'm afraid that will have to be it for tonight, Dear Visitors.  I need to work on getting my television viewing diary organized because it's certainly not going to write in all those local stations all by itself, now is it?  I should also probably start mapping out my viewing schedule for the next week in order that I might make clear what entertainment I deem appropriate for mass consumption.

Yes.  I am a very important person doing very important work right now.  That's why I make the big (five) bucks.  They don't just give that kind of cash to anyone, you know.

I imagine it will just about cover my reality therapy bills...