Wednesday, February 08, 2012

WNBP: Still Rockin' The Ratings Here!!!

I almost forgot about you tonight.  I am still very much enmeshed in my Nielson Ratings Duties and therefore busy beyond that which most humans can comprehend.  Heavy is the head that bends forward so one might squint at one's viewing diary and fill in those little blank spaces.

However, I didn't forget and I am going to take a break from television in order that I might take care of this week's Wednesday Night Bullet Post.  I trust you will forgive me if it is somewhat short and scattered.  I've mostly been watching television over here.

*The Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty is feeling neglected.  He is expressing his frustration by locating the almost cleverly hidden toy basket and selecting his own playthings. looks cute.  But we do not allow kitties to get their own toys.  That does not end well.  We carefully select a few toys for the kitties and almost cleverly hide the rest.

*This has been going on for days and there are toys everywhere.  I haven't the time to deal with it.

*No.  I did not watch the Superbowl.  There will be no Superbowl next year.  Once my viewing diary is returned, the Bosses Of Television will see that the Superbowl was unwatched and they will let it go.

*I did buy lots of snacks, though.  You can still eat snacks on what used to be Superbowl Sunday.  You just won't get football.

*Wait...I need to change the channel.  This is my job now.  I maybe lied a little when I said I was taking a break from television.

*Actually multi-tasking.

*Conversation with Mr. Assistant Principal last Thursday:

Ms. Sheep:  Hello Mr. Assistant Principal.  How are you?

Mr. Assistant Principal:  I am fine.  Better for knowing that you are here tending to the classroom needs of that most challenging group of students you have in your care.

Ms. Sheep:  I regret to inform you, sir, that I will be out of that classroom for the next week.  I came in today only to provide you notice in person.  You see, MAP, I must stay home and watch television lest the world as we know it come to a crashing halt.  I am doing it for you and yours, sir.  For all of America, really.

MAP:  You got suckered into doing that Nielson thing, didn't you?

SA:  It is an honor.  You are just jealous.  And I have to stay home.  For a week.  For the children who might never know the joys of reality television if I fall asleep at the switch.

MAP:  A week?  Really?

SA:  Well...maybe it doesn't exactly say I have to stay home and watch TV.  But I'm pretty sure that is what they meant.  And besides, I already took their money.

MAP:  Oh, yes.  I hear that pays really well.  Five bucks, right?

SA:  (holding a can aloft):  See this soda?  This is a Nielson soda, buddy!  I can't go back now!!!  I'm in too deep!

MAP:  I will see you tomorrow.

SA:  You hate America, don't you?

*That is why I took the Superbowl away from him.  Plus he's a Giants fan...

*I was out on Monday, though.  I had a teacher's workshop day.

*I am still cleaning up the mess from that little adventure.

*Kids don't like it when Ms. Sheep is away.

*Or they like it a lot and take advantage.  It is one of those...

*I hurt my hip and knee on Saturday when I was making the bed and not watching TV like I was supposed to.

*In the words of a sixth grader, "Oh, you've always got something that hurts.  First it's your nose...then it's your your hip.  Who can keep up?"

*He's not wrong.  I am slowly crumbling into dust here.

*Wait...I need to update my viewing diary.  What will happen to reruns of Seinfeld if I forget to do that???

*I'm not sure just what might happen, but the Nielson people called me on Sunday night when I wasn't watching the SuperBowl to check up on me.  It sounds like other people are maybe needing a little more "supervision" with this process.

*I'm not joking.  I seriously mean that they needed to check up on people.  There have been issues.

*The lady was shocked to learn that I was managing without further direction.  I received a great deal of praise.

*I basked in it and maybe even preened a little bit before realizing that I am now the only thing that stands between the viewers and total anarchy.

*Haven't slept well since...

*Still reading, though.  I don't want a little thing like television viewing to get in the way of literacy.

*I was pleased to learn that Undone Deeds (Connor Grey) was finally out.

*But saddened to realize how little I recalled from the last book I read in this series.  I'm picking it up as I go along, though.

*Since so much of my time is now taken up with television, I am still using audio books to fill in the gaps.

*When you only get one credit per month as part of an audio book club membership, you try to get the most bang for the buck as is possible.

*11/22/63: A Novel fit the bill.  Stephen King isn't known for brevity in his writing.  This bad boy clocks in at around thirty hours!

*That's a good, long listen!  Especially since I only tune in during the work week and there is a school vacation this month, to boot!!

*Oh, and did I mention that it is rather fantastic?  I've been a King fan since before Way Back When, but am finding him a bit hit or miss over the last couple of years.

*Thus far, this one is a definite "hit."  It is spellbinding and maybe just a little bit mind-bending.  

*Oh, and I'm also still working on those handwarmers for The World's Greatest Stylist and Life Coach.  It is hard, though.

*I can't help but think I've made a boo-boo.  Something looks "off."

*But this is a pattern I wrote down myself a while back and never really worried about remembering.  I figured it was stuck in my noggin forever and ever.

*And maybe it is...but I can't tell for sure.  

*When I know, you'll know.

*You'll probably hear the shrieking and wailing over your own television.

OK.  I gotta go now.  I've got a fluffy cat flinging toys around the living room and we are coming up on a channel change.  The good news is that tomorrow is the last day of my Nielson ratings duties.  All I have to do then, is copy out my local channel line up and mail in the diary.  It will all be over and I can pat myself on the back for a job well done.

I wonder if I can take a vacation?  Maybe a week or so?  I should ask Mr. Assistant Principal...



trek said...

That's right, you get a February break.

If it wasn't a deadly sin, I'd be all jealous, covetous, and envious.

kmkat said...

Tis good to know that Our Sheepie is on the job, keeping television from falling into a state of complete anarchy.

Donna Lee said...

Ah, who needs a Superbowl anyway? I am a Stephen King fan and I agree, his latest stuff has been up and down. (Under the Dome was odd but the last one Full Dark No Stars was full of good stories). I wasn't sure about the new one. I'll have to look it up in the bookstore. The library doesn't carry his books on audio.

Cathy said...

I agree about King - I'll have to check out the latest.

Good on you to sacrifice so much for the good of all...

Sorta. I suspect a real ulterior motive - sitting under kitties, knitting?

Julia G said...

I started "11/22/63" as well, a nice hefty book that needs a snowstorm to get through, more than this weekend will deliver (snow day, anyone?)

My Big Orange Oaf of a cat has taken to ignoring his basket of kitty toys, instead swiping one of the kids' small stuffed kittens and rassling with it when no one's looking. All we see is the mostly unscathed stuffed kitten surrounded by piles of orange and white fur, suggesting he is losing the fights. I'm dying to ask him about it, but he's not talking. The kids have decided he's joined a kitty Fight Club, and the first rule about Fight Club is, don't talk about Fight Club.