Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Battle Continues.

Not much in the way of knitting at this point. I must continue to fight against the insectile menace that is threatening our way of life for all time. I do this for all people of Earth.

Last night The Sheep found herself happily hunched over a carton of ice cream putting spoon to mouth at a rate barely visible to the human eye. Let's face it: the whole "gosh Sheepie you lost so much weight while you were sick and should eat a bit more" thing has gone straight to my head. And my hips. It's out of control. I'm working on it, okay???

Where was I?

Ah, yes...on the couch snarfing ice cream. I seem to recall having heard something hit the back of the couch, but, living in a home with two cats, I often hear things hit the couch. I stayed focused on my delightful dairy treat. After a while, though, it seemed prudent to return the ice cream to the freezer and try to resume normal living. I successfully got the carton to the kitchen and back to it's frozen home then ran a hand through my hair to keep from reaching for it once more. And that's when it happened...

My hand came across something big...and crunchy...and leggy...that bit me!!!

I then did the dance with which we are all so familiar whether we admit it or not. You know the one: it involves slapping one's head repeatedly, spinning in circles and twitching violently all the while making high pitched, girly, squealing noises. It was all so very horrifying.

A few minutes later, I observed the culprit winging it's way across the kitchen. Desdemona and I both sprung into action and began stalking the mighty beast. I got bored after five minutes or so and gave up but my feline defender spent the better part of the evening attempting to track down Mr. Wasp. I actually had better things to do given that I had been stung and needed to tend to my injured thumb. Gotta love hydrocortisone.

No sign of my aerial attacker this evening nor of the ants that have formed the ground troops in this battle to end all battles. I suspect they have fallen back and are awaiting the flea attack that is sure to come soon and weaken me to the point of surrender. It's all just a matter of time. I may need reinforcements here.

I'm calling in the National Guard.

SA

3 comments:

Teri S. said...

Big, crunchy, leggy, and bite-y...I started to do The Dance just thinking about a large spider in my hair. Thank goodness it was only a wasp! I usually trap them in a glass and let them go outside. Worse than having them in the house is crunchy noise they make when they are squashed. We've already been through the ant invasion; they seem to have left, but hopefully not to start an insurgency.

laurie in maine said...

Laughing out loud, although all the while making sympathy girlie squeals in my head on your behalf! Don't consider my self girlie but just hint of mouse, snake or creepy crawlie thing on my head and I'm doing the heebie jeebie dance or looking for a table to climb onto.

Anonymous said...

Oh Yuck! Did you go back for the ice cream? Ice (cream) is best for swelling.