Saturday, October 07, 2006

A Sheep In A Dark Alley.

Kate, in her comment on my last post, noted the level of difficulty I seem to have in my local grocery store. I wholeheartedly agree! But, its the law of averages, really. I grocery shop a lot. Not because I particularly enjoy it (I obviously don't) but because I tend to run out of things pretty regularly. I like to pretend that I'm all European and shop for my meals daily in order that I might obtain the freshest of ingredients for my dining pleasures. But, we all know that I live on frozen pizza so this is really just a tactic used to divert myself from all the shopping angst. The simple fact of the matter is this: I forget to get things when I'm in the store. I'd use my list, but I usually forget that, too. They know me well at the grocery store. They call me by name. They comment on my purchases. We're close...

However, today was a day to venture outside the Sheepie household and be in the public eye for a reason other than shopping. I had me a date with a couple of little cutie-patooties known to me as my nieces-by-proxy and to the rest of the world as CamMad. The eldest of the girls thought it might be a good time if Auntie Sheepie joined them on this weekend's bowling extravaganza and who am I to deny them? Before I get too far into this, let me explain "Maine Bowling" to those of you from away. We partake of a version of the sport known as "candlepin bowling" not the other kind. ( We call that "big ball bowling" and I'm not going to repeat that name so get the giggles out of your system now...) Candlepin is pretty much the only type of bowling offered in the state. Basically, the ball is smaller (softball size) and the pins a bit thinner. It is great for kids as the ball is a more manageable size. Even if you happen to be 2-almost-3, as in Cam's case.

Outings with the CamMad clan are always a good exercise in "reality" for this Sheep. Upon seeing them, I always seem to experience all those warm, snuggly feelings that many females of the species seem to get around small children. My ovaries begin to cramp and send frantic emails to my brain saying, " OMG!!!! Look at them!!! They are so little, and cute and they're all squishy when you hug them!!! And they are happy to see you!!! C'mon...we gotta get us a couple of those!!! How can we live another day if we don't get us a couple of those!!!!!!!!)

After the first hour of watching Mom and Dad deftly maneuvering the cute, squishy little ones through the activity of the day, all the while averting crises of body and emotion with the practiced execution of tag-team chainsaw jugglers, I start to take note of the fact that they look sort of tired. I start to wonder...if the world's most adorable and perfect children take this kind of work, how might The Sheep fare with a couple of her own offspring? Kids are sorta hard, near as I can tell. You have to feed and water them regularly and I'm not sure if my grocery shopping skills are up to that.

Still, it was a super-fun day. We all had the chance to perfect our individual bowling styles and, after much experimentation, have determined that the "Fling and Walk Away" method seems to yield the best results. No ball that is watched is going to hit as many pins as one that is left to it's own devices. We are also in the early design phase for our new bowling shirts. Dad seemed a bit iffy on the color scheme, but I'm working on that. I think pink looks quite stunning on everyone in bowling alley lighting... (Mom and the girls seem to be with me on this one)

Lunch was also to be part of the day, but that sort of fell apart when I made the ill-advised decision to follow the CamMad clan to the restaurant rather than go my own way and meet them there. What can I say? CamMad's dad is the best navigator out there and always knows a shortcut! Sadly, I lost sight of them on the highway and thus began a rather amusing episode involving the Sheep trustingly following a family-type station wagon that, while containing a family of some sort, was not the one with whom I was scheduled to dine. I thought he was taking a kind of odd route... At any rate, traffic and construction combined with a recent run of oddly timed events that have inexplicably kept me from being in bad traffic situations, made me decide to head back home for a Hot Pocket and a doughnut.

All in all, it was a good day out and about and the Hot Pocket wasn't half bad. I'm calling it a winner as Saturdays go.

I even brought the second Sock Of Immense Proportions and had one or two minutes to knit upon it in between dazzling onlookers with my unique bowling style. Sock #1 was Kitchenered last night and, surprisingly, does not fit badly. It seems that either my ability to gauge the actual size of an object is somewhat impaired or my feet have swollen to Immense Proportions. I'm thinking it might be a combination of both. Either way, its a good enough fit to call it a working sock. And I even managed to craftily repair that stupid heel gap in such a way that it almost hardly...sort of...mostly...doesn't show. Much...

You know, I remember my grandmother taking a wee little Sheepie and her cousins bowling many, many years ago. It was one of our favorite activities. We begged her to take us. I could never figure out why she napped for so long afterwards. I think I get it at this point.

The Sheep is now standing and saluting any and all parents out there. You are truly amazing. I honestly don't know how the heck you get your socks finished. I'm done standing now.

I need a nap...



Beth said...

Like you wondering about your grandma's naps, I always wondered why my parents would take Sunday afternoon naps. We would all resent it because we had to be very quiet. If we weren't, a very angry parent would bellow "Be quiet!" I,too, get it now. :)

I'm glad you had a fun time! I wonder how hard it would be to knit socks when the Cosmic bowling (with blacklights) starts?

mrichme said...

I took pictures and video of the event. Soon the whole blogging world will see the events that Sheepish mentioned today, including the sock! Really, she did work on it between pins.

I'm glad we brought entertainment and a quality time to the Sheep. We ranked it as a good Saturday as well!

Julie said...

Oh Sheepie, tell you ovaries to shut up! Those cute little squishy things turn into teenagers way too soon and stay teenagers way too long. The cute little squishy stage is far too short. (They do eventually come out of the teenage stage and are actually likeable again, but it's iffy whether the parents will survive unscathed!)

Julie said...

Oh yeah, and I tried to respond to your e-mail but it kept coming back to me. What's up with that? I had already found the address and the package went out when the PO opened this morning. Now I am afraid to check MY mailbox for fear of a gi-normous sheep face showing up in there ;)

trek said...

Yes, grandma was tired.
No, parents do not get enough sleep - why do you think we are grumpy about sticky fingers?

Sheila said...

I can't believe you followed the wrong car....too funny!
I used my cotton dishcolth today and it worked beautifully. It is more grippy on the dishes than the synthetic store-bought things I've used in the past.
(This si a good thing.)

April said...

I've become a staunch advocater of goats over children. Visit them, play with them, let them lick your fingers and then leave 'em. And yet, they're still yours.

Of course it's highly unlikely they'll care for me in my old age but oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

geraldine said...

I feel the same way about good parents, they ARE amazing, I don't think I could have kept up the pace and patience required and I KNOW I would have worried myself to an early grave about their minute to minute whereabouts.

Im thinking the Young Sheep are truly blessed to have a special Auntie Sheep to brighten up their lives. You are an aunt made in heaven Sheep with bowling ball or not!!!

Hot Pocket and a Donut....NOT, come on Sheep, try a recipe, whats the point of going to the grocery store if you dont. LOL.

Huggs, G

Anonymous said...

It does sound like fun was had by all. Too bad you, uh, missed out on lunch. The hot pocket and donut sounds tasty though.
Rental children are much easier than the owned variety. When they get cranky you can hand them back to the owners. There is no messy clean up. And all that yarn money won't be spent on a college education.

camadsmom said...

It was great to have Auntie Sheep with us at the Bowling Alley. Even though CamMad are only two girls, it was great to be able to watch you deal with them both at the same time.

I know that you and Parent 1 agreed that the fling and walk method worked, but I believe the vodoo - sleep method that you and Cam came up with had its own value.

Debbie said...

Hooray for people without children who enjoy being around people WITH children! When my daughter was born, I felt like I'd changed species or something, based on my childless "friends'" reactions.