Monday, October 16, 2006

Hot News Flash!

The Sheep is trying very hard to revel in the joys that come with maturity. And she is trying equally hard to not blog about it when those joys become less than...well...joyful.

But, I am stumped here. Truly flummoxed. Baffled, if you will. Just when I think I'm getting handle on the whole thing, the process takes a weird turn. You think you've found a creative way to use the random quirks and you're reminded once again that you're just not the one in control at this juncture.

I spent the end of the work week and a good part of the weekend flinging open windows and allowing the frosty winds to billow about me in an attempt to cool the raging hormonal fires. I mopped my brow and pondered the feasibility of wearing a tube top and hot pants to work. I'm barely into my forties, for crying out loud! How the heck did this happen?????

I arrived at school this morning to find my classroom unheated and with the overhead fans a' blowing. It was chilly enough that I wondered if little white flakes might begin gently sifting down from the light fixtures.

And I rejoiced.

For I, The Sheep, am the master of warmth. I can independently generate enough internal heat that I will weather this meat locker that is my teaching environment. I will survive! Take that all you young hormonally balanced types!!!

Do you think I could muster up so much as a blip on the hot flash radar? Was there even a twinkle of perspiration upon my furrowed brow?

There was not. I shivered, I quaked, I rubbed my frost-bitten fingers together and tried to generate a hormonal onslaught through sheer force of will. I got nuthin'. Zip. There is no winning this game.

So, The Sheep has made the executive decision to cast aside all holiday knitting and focus on socks and handwarmers. And I'm going to invent a nose-warmer. You know, a little something that I can perch on the tip of my snout to keep the chill away from that over-exposed piece of sheep-flesh. Seriously...that room was freakin' cold! And last year's staff assure me that it will get no better.

Speaking of the classroom, I've got a busy week ahead what with parent/teacher conferences and the nose-warmer inventing. I may be a bit spotty on the blogging and commenting but will make every effort to keep up with you all.

Who else is gonna listen to me at this point? I'm a temperature challenged Sheep who wishes to sport a nose-warmer.

SA

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Sheep I'd rather be cold than hot. You can wear layers and bring some nice fingerless gloves and a fashionable hat. How are the children? Do they complain?
Good Luck with the parent/teacher conferences. Visiting the teacher always makes me nervous;)
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

--Deb said...

Power surges. My Mom called them power surges...

trek said...

You are so making me laugh out loud, Rudolph!

Beth said...

Hey, don't forget the muff you knitted! It might look a little strange inside the classroom, but the kids won't mind.

Lazuli said...

I hear you on the nose warmer thing. I've often wished to affix one to my nose with a string tied round my head. And then I come to my senses. Surely there has to be a non-rudolphy way of doing this!

Paula O'Neal said...

I'm with you! I lurk mostly, but I read you every day. For the nose mitten, see Knitty. com archives. There is a pattern in there, fer real. Paula in Iowa

catsmum said...

you want weird?
This week has been going from zero overnight-I-need-the-fire-on to 30 C omigodhwereishteremotefortheA/C during the day.
I'm sure there's a pattern for a nosewarmer on knitty somewhere... seriously.

Kate said...

I hear ya. I'd rather be cold and bundle up though because there are only so many clothes you can remove in public during a hot flash. I attended parent teacher conferences last night too.

G said...

All I can say is: It'll get better Sheep, been there,done that. I layer to avoid 'meltdown' anymore, that helps a LOT!


Happy Cardigan Days, G

Debbie said...

Yep, there's a pattern for a nosewarmer on knitty. I definitely sympathize. Many years ago, living in a very badly heated apartment, I knit myself a nosewarmer. It was slightly concave and hat two loops to fit over my ears and hold it in place. It somehow didn't get packed when we moved. To this day I wonder what the next tenants thought when they found it.

Anonymous said...

http://www.knitty.com/issuewinter02/PATTnosewarmer.html

the official knitty nosewarmer! You could make them seasonal!

Erin B

April said...

According to the New England Journal of Medicine, ownership of big fluffy kitties has been directly related to hormonal fluctuations.

debsnm said...

At least you recognize what's up - a couple years ago, I went to my ob/gyn cause i was having some problems. She asked me the usual list, and when she got to night sweats, I said no - cause I hadn't had any. It was 2 days later when I realized that my waterbed wasn't on the fritz! I called her back, and she said, that's ok, you're still in peri-menopause. I'm just lovin' it!

Annie said...

Sheep, you read my mind! My nose was really cold t'other day so I was fiddling around trying to knit something that would fix onto the nose-piece of my glasses.
Over here, we call 'em hot flushes and it's definitely not pleasant!

Debby said...

Hot flashes sound positively wonderful compared to having freezing cold hands and feet *all* the time! I finally went to the doctor and practically begged to be found with an underactive thyroid, anemia, low iron...but nothing. So now, not only am I still freezing cold all the time, but I'm told there's no explanation for it!

I will be knitting arm/handwarmers to match all of my (very thick) winter sweaters. And looking up the costs of housing in Miami...

Dudleyspinner's Tie Dye Rovings said...

I made nosewarmers when I was a kid, they had a little tassle on the end to boot. It was cold in Indiana winters and I had yarn.
Deb

Dudleyspinner's Tie Dye Rovings said...

I made nosewarmers when I was a kid, they had a little tassle on the end to boot. It was cold in Indiana winters and I had yarn.
Deb