Thursday, October 12, 2006

Middle Age: 1 Sheep: 0

You know...I remember a time when I could skootch down and pick up a fallen notebook from the floor to assist a student and not tweak my tuchas. I don't want to brag or anything but I was skootching at an almost professional level. Sports Illustrated wanted to do a full article on my ability to hunker down on the floor and speak to small children or retrieve lost bottle caps, but I opted to keep it low profile. I know I said in yesterday's post that I hurt my back, but I was just being polite. I pulled that nice big muscle in my hienie. For what it's worth, the pain has spread both north and south so I actually do have back pain at this writing.

I also remember those halcyon days when the decision to wear a turtleneck on a chilly, rainy morning that later turned out to be on the mild side didn't morph into a mistake of epic proportions. Sure, I might have been a tiny bit uncomfortable. But it was nowhere near the drama of suffering through the extra fabric as my internal temperature gauge fluctuated wildly according to some hormonally managed system that I neither understand nor control.

For that matter, how is it possible that I can remember days of yore, but couldn't seem to recall the fact that I was in need of toilet paper when I stopped off at the store on the way home today? It was certainly enough of an issue this morning that it should have registered on some level. Should have...but didn't. Ask me what I wore to the Huey Lewis and The News concert in '82 and I can go into excruciating detail. (I looked adorable in all my twenty-something cuteness) Yet, somehow, the immediate and pressing need for toilet paper never even made the top ten in terms of "important things to never, ever forget."

I'm old. I creak. I have a hienie pull. And there's the toilet paper thing...

But, I guess you gotta look at the big picture. There is really only one alternative to aging. And I'm thinking that it will involve laying down and wearing the same shoes for all eternity. Time marches on, for sure. But I'm stumbling along with it.

My aged fingers have spent this week knitting along on a Feather And Fan Scarf. I snagged some of the less-than-sockable sock yarn from the stash for this project. It has been a sort of fun pattern and I've decided to give myself over fully to the enjoyment of it all. This despite the fact that I may have underestimated the amount of yarn I'll need to actually complete a scarf of any usable length. Truth be told, I really didn't think I would like knitting it and sort of took it on to get it out of my system. I figured I'd give up on it quickly as I generally don't knit anything that has a lacy look to it. Who knew?

It seems, with age, comes wisdom and maybe even a little patience. I'll be darned. I guess I'm just all bustin' at the seams with the wisdom at this point.

I got so much wisdom going on that it just pushed that little mental sticky note that said, "buy toilet paper" right off the desk that is my mind.

SA

14 comments:

trek said...

Aw, Sheep! Sorry about the tushie pull. Rest those hooves.

Beth said...

I know how you feel. I don't enjoy getting older, either. Hope your backside feels better soon!

Sheila said...

You and me both with the pulled back muscles!
I went in to have my nasty wisdom tooth removed, and the oral surgeon said,"This is a low risk procedure except in extremely rare cases, of which you are one. You're 40, and you still have your wisdom teeth. That makes this a very risky procedure". In Feb. my OB said I had "40 year old eggs that weren't likely to result in succesful pregnancies".
Sheesh, these doctors are going to throw me into a mid-life crisis, so your post is a timely one for me.
How 'bout it Sheepish, you want to have a mid-life crisis? We can sell our cars, buy a "67 convertible of some sort, and cruise the country!!
Okay, maybe not, but I feel your pain- literally and figuratively, if it helps. {{{HUGGS}}}

Teri S. said...

I hear you, Sheep. I used to be able to spring up out of my chair at the office and fly down the hall to get to a meeting or attend to some other equally important business. This these days, it seems like I lever myself out of the chair and hobble down the hall until the kinks get worked out.

I think a nice, hot bath would work wonders for the heinie pull.

Knittymama said...

I hear you on the memory thing. I have been needing tissue for a month now. My poor kids are having to wipe their noses with toilet paper. I'll probably forget to buy that soon too!

Debby said...

I have the flightly memory too because there's too much trivial stuff to keep track of. I can name every student in my first grade class photo, but don't ask me to remember the work emails I was supposed to send yesterday...too many of them. If I don't write stuff down, it is just gone...

Hope your back feels better. Maybe some gentle stretches would help?

G said...

You ain't getting older Sheep, you're getting better.....who cares if your rear-muscles fails you now and then, or that elusive short-term memory...like you said, the alternative isn't great.

Thanks for another wonderful LOL!!!

Huggs, G

Annie said...

So funny....and so true. I was nodding my head and chuckling to myself as I read this entry. Kind of sad, actually!

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the butt muscle pull. Try to rest this weekend.
But please, you aren't middle aged. You live in Maine where people live to be 102 or 105 so unless you are 51 or older you aren't there yet. When we lived in Maine my father loved reading the obits. It seemed that everyone died suddenly at 104 years of age.
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Cathy said...

I'm laughing with you... I gimped around for 2 weeks coz the bichon insisted on sitting on my lap and I let her. One day, I just said no - miraculously in a few days my pain went away - with dog cookies bribes. I can't believe letting a 15 lb dog sit on my lap results in ... well, you know. Should I mail you a roll of TP?

Vicki in So. Cal. said...

There is good and bad to everything. O.K., I ache more, my skin is not as elastic as it used to be, my boobs and butt are feeling the pull of gravity and I forget people's names (not dog's names though and I've always been that way so it probably doesn't count) but I get a senior discount at a lot of places, I don't have to worry about getting pregnant and people tend to call me eccentric rather the weird. Hang in there!

April said...

Our poor Sheepie. :( I feel your pain. If I sit down for 10 minutes, it takes me 15 to get up.

catsmum said...

I'd laugh but this is too close to home!
feel better soon my little wooly one

Kate said...

Oh the tushie pull is the worst! It radiates down your leg and everything. I'm so sorry. I've missed most of your posts this week and have to catch up. I'm a bad blog friend.