C'mon...Put Me In Charge!

First, I should note that I am a somewhat tired and grumpy Sheep this evening. It has been one of those days where you just question your career choice every twenty minutes or so. In between, you obsess endlessly on that long-ago marriage proposal that could have left you somewhere in the third year of your divorce by now and with decent alimony. This is probably the cause of my current desire to become a world dictator and to come up with some rules of society that, while rigid, will make life better for all of us. Well...that and the fact that I, a middle aged woman who has recently encountered some problems with internal temperature regulation, was promised a cool and crisp Fall day today and wore a sweater. I was hot. So very hot.

At any rate, I've come up with a new rule that I'd like the world to consider. I think it quite reasonable and easy to work with. I thus feel that the punishment for failure to follow it should be death. Preferably death by pinching or poking or something equally annoying. Here it is:

The middle aged, overheated lady lugging around the giant container of kitty litter gets the right-of-way in the grocery store. I understand that this might cause some difficulty for those folks who are confronted by long-lost relatives and need to catch up or who have suddenly noted items in their cart that weren't there when they first entered the checkout line. It happens to me frequently. I know that these things make you suddenly want to stop even if you happen to be in mid-aisle or blocking an exit. But the overheated lady hefting a jug of expensive sand that is roughly a third of her body weight needs to get by. Perhaps execution is an excessive punishment...

But rules are rules.

All right, all right...it is possible that I am overeacting after a long day and several instances over the last few weeks of being stalled behind other shoppers who had the common sense to get a shopping cart. Maybe we could do this:

If the offender has the wherewithal to at least acknowledge that he/she has made a shopping faux pas, then they get a pass. They don't even have to apologize. All I'm asking is that they take note of my quivering biceps and the vein bulging in my forehead. Maybe even move a few inches to the right...I'm nothing if not flexible even if I do have aspirations towards being the world overlord. Just the other day, I graciously forgave the guy who was blocking the conveyor belt at the check out by laying across it. He looked at me, blushed and said, "Whoops, what am I doing just laying on this thing? Lemme get outta your way there, little lady." See? No actual apology. Just an acknowledgment. That's good enough. Pardon granted!

I will be a benevolent overlord.

Fortunately, I am now home safe and sound and with cat litter aplenty for the kitties. I have also turned on a fan. This is slowly returning The Sheep to her usual charming self and perhaps things will settle down a bit. I'm hoping that I will be able to make some decent progress on the Sock Of Immense Proportions tonight. I've designated weekend knitting for finishing holiday type stuff so it'll be all Chevron Stripes Towel all the time for the knitting during this holiday weekend.

Unless I make some progress on the whole world overlord thing...then I'll probably be busy decorating the palace and choosing my coronation outfit.

SA