The Mathematics Of Unmentionables.

There are two weeks remaining until the start of the new school year. I have transferred to a new school in the district and must set up an entirely new classroom. I have approximately 25,607 projects here at home that I'd hoped to get done during the summer break and failed to finish. Am I attending to any of these?

No, I am not.

For I have an "underpants situation" upon which to focus.

Now, I understand that I have hopelessly crossed the line of good taste, here. I fully realize that no one really needs or wants to have an in-depth analysis of my undie drawer foisted upon them. But, I can't help it. It is worse than I thought.

As of last night, I'd estimated the underpants count to be at or around 40 pair. I don't know where they all came from. I don't recall purchasing that many. I haven't been keeping up with the laundry. I have Underpants Alzheimers. It was all pretty overwhelming.

So today I decided to do what any rational person might do under these circumstances and conduct an Underpants Census. The top drawer was emptied, the laundry basket was dumped and the count began. Imagine my surprise.

I have 57 pair of underpants.

In what universe does one possibly require 57 pair of underpants? I mean, I could see if I was a professional bungee jumper, lion tamer or easily startled. Then it is conceivable that I might need a few back-up pair. But I am none of those things. Just an average Sheep living an average life and surrounded by underpants.

Mind reeling from the possible psychological disorders that might be at work here, I went to a very rational and logical place in my head. These needed to be sorted and catalogued in some way in order that I might find some meaning in all this. Here is what I was able to come up with:

Of the total 57 pair, 10 were too large and could be discarded.

Another 10 were thongs (an interesting and slightly disturbing discovery) And let's face it, these are not really the kind of thing you can wear daily and not lose your mind completely.

This left 37 pair that could be considered "front of the drawer" material.

That's 37 pair. Why it is that I somehow felt better about the fact that I can now only go just over a month without doing laundry is a mystery. But I did. Of course I then realized that I was actually wearing one pair (hey, I'm a lady) and that this increased the total by one, but I got past that fairly quickly.

I'm really only a couple quirks away from a tin foil hat.

Lest you think that I spent the entire day immersed in the undie drawer, here's a couple of other little projects that were considered worthy of my time and attention:

There is hope for an FO of one sort or another by week's end.

I have a few commitments this week (work, drs. appt. and the like) around which I will have to work. There is also some back-to-school shopping that needs to happen.

But there is one item that was crossed off the list pretty quickly, lemme tellya!

SA