The Making Of A Mogul

The Sheep has made an interesting discovery today. It seems that if you actually do all the laundry awaiting washing in the basket you will have a better understanding of how much underwear you actually have.

Near as I can figure, I must have gone through some sort of underpants amnesia over the last few months. The result is that there was, at the very least, weekly underpants purchasing. This short term memory lapse also seemed to have wiped out any recollection of these purchases as I honestly don't know the exact origins of some of these little guys.

I can say, without exaggeration here, that I have somehow managed to amass 40 or so pair of underpants. Some are still in the original packaging. Perhaps we here at Sheepie Meadows got a bit behind in the laundry...

Should terrorists ever target Fruit Of The Loom, Hanes and Victoria's Secret for destruction, I will be a very rich Sheep. I will become the foremost Underpants Mogul in all the land. I will begin smoking a cigar and take to wearing an eyepatch. I will layer gold chains, some of which will sport sayings like,"Got Underpants?" I also envision a hat with a feather of some sort, but I haven't fully fleshed out all the wardrobe details at this writing.

I will be photographed strolling into the most exclusive of clubs and, for the mere tip of a pair of boy cut briefs, will be escorted to the best table in the joint. Upon exiting these fine establishments, there will be masses of street urchins fighting over the lone thong tossed casually over my shoulder as I chuckle over the plight of the little people.

I will commission a statue of Lycra/Spandex. Neil Young will write a protest song about the underpants excesses of a certain Sheep.

But, I promise that I will continue to handknit my socks and hats. How else can I retain my connection to the common people?

Don't worry, folks. I have power of attorney. I'll see that she ends up one of the nicer "facilities."

SA