I've been told that I'm witty. Casting aside false modesty, I will say that, upon occasion, I have been known to toss out a few treasures worthy of a chuckle. Sometimes I crack myself up. I've been told that is not a good sign...
I come by it honestly. I am a member in good standing of quite the hilarious clan. (some folks by choice, others are funny in their clueless wanderings.) Either way, we have our share of witlings. Put me together with my brother and we can have you in a state of "rotflmao" in mere minutes. Good times...
So you can imagine the joy with which I look forward to family gatherings of any type. Today was "family lunch" day. My mother's side of this rag-tag group, many of whom have reached retirement age and were needing something to do with their days besides watch infomercials and knock over liquor stores to fund their Ben Gay habits, launched this tradition several years ago. They generally congregate on Thursdays at the closest Applebees for catchin' up and chowin' down. In the summers, when some of the younger folk are available, this group can easily consist of up to twenty bleating sheep all vying for the lion's share of the attention. As I said before: Good times...
I scampered to the grocery store bright and early to stock up on more bottled water where a lady mistakenly assumed that shoving her cart up my tuchus would move the line along more quickly. I next hit the local craft store where a gentleman attempted the same strategy with a baby carriage complete with infant. Sadly, neither of these enterprising individuals was able to move things along any more quickly. In fact, from my perspective, this actually seemed to make our respective wait times longer...
Upon arrival at the restaurant, we all realized that there was something of a problem. Our group was only 5 strong!!! The lesson learned here is that when an event typically takes place on a Thursday, changing it to a Tuesday might result in some confusion. As my parents are leaving tomorrow on vacation it will be up to me to stake out the AppleBees on Thursday to see which family members show up for the regularly scheduled festivities.
I've promised to take a picture and use it as this year's Christmas card.
Ah well...lunch was yummy and funded by the Mommy Sheep so I still call it a good outing. And The Sheep is now watered and has new circs upon which to knit her socks. The water part worked out ok...the needles are another story.
(note: this is the part of the post where The Samurai Knitter will leave off reading and go find a door frame or table upon which to beat her head repeatedly because The Sheep does not listen!!!) The addis I was using were just too short to knit with comfortably so I found a slightly longer pair upon which to work my little sockie. Being as this was a craft store, all that was available were Susan Bates. In my defense, I really like the double points!!! But now I am am the proud owner of two 16" (too short) circular needles which are only slightly longer than the addis and which have the most snaggiest, catchiest, not smoothiest joins ever created in the history of needles. I'm thinking of using them as funky earrings.
Did I mention that the lunch was good? Yeah...I'll just keep thinking about that.
SA
OK, so it's been a while
4 years ago
7 comments:
Any day with lunch at Applebee's is a good day. So sayeth the Neatnik.
Annie, Annie, Annie...
There are only two things to be done with Susan Bates needles.
Slash them to ribbons with a Spyderco pocket knife, or light them on fire.
If you set them on fire you might be able to take out some ants and a spider or two.
Heh, I think Julie has got something there.....
Glad you had a nice (and free) lunch!!!
BFN, G
I don't usually mind the Susan Bates either, but the joins are not addis. Just to make you feel better about your insect issues, I found a mouse in my house last night. Just sittin' around knitting and saw it run across the floor. A chase involving my husband and son ensued. I was on the kitchen counter at this point. I'll probably blog about it tonight, but I thought of you. I'll trade you a mouse for some spiders.
Ben Gay habits??? Who knew they would be MORE to look forward to as we get older ::rotflmao:::
And by the way.. what DID you have for lunch?
You're a yankee, so I know -exactly- what such family gatherings can be like. My family is Yankee also, born and raised in MA and NH, and family get-togethers resemble nothing more than a flock of noisy geesy all competing for attention.
You write up these stories so well!
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