Wednesday, February 01, 2006

My Cat Is Constipated.

That's right. You heard me. My. Cat. Is. Constipated. This is not the first time, either. Persephone has beautiful, long, silky fur that she grooms obsessively. Not effectively, mind you, but obsessively. From time to time, said locks lead to blocks. Hairballs appear like little gifts from heaven all over the house and then...constipation. This is my life: loosening up the cat. After two days of torture at school (won't go into detail, will just say that I have had certain bodily fluids flicked at me repeatedly...don't even try to top it, people), I get to come home and dose the little kitty's nightly num-nums with "spwinkles" or, if we're feeling more capricious, "maaaaagical pooping powder." And that's how you have to say it,"maaaaaaagical pooping powder." In reality, its a pinch of Metamucil. You can't just tell her that, though. It has to sound treat-like and special. This was not the life I envisioned for myself as a young girl dreaming of the wonderful joys of adulthood.

I'm taking over the knitting patterns and the remote. Now cater to my whims, I don't feel well.

Are you kidding me with this? Let's get rid of her, she's way too much trouble. Remember when it was just us???

Oh well, what are you gonna do? They're my babies and a parent "does" for her children. I'm just wondering when they will grow up, get lucrative jobs and support their aging mother in the manner to which she would like to be accustomed.

In less disgusting news, (and more related to the stated purpose of the blog), I have re-started my wild dance of multiple projects. My self-imposed restriction to nothing but the fingerless gloves has been lifted due to my loathing of dpns. Don't get me wrong, can do it, will do it, adore the seamlessness. But, I need, need, need something that just goes back'n forth. So, as I have absolutely no need for a shawl, nor an occasion to which I might wear one, I am knitting a shawl. Actually, I'm modifying a scarf pattern that I think will work if knit larger. Now when I say, "modifying" please don't get the idea that I am doing math-related activities, adjusting gauge and creating complicated charts and data tables, here. I'm just making it bigger. If it doesn't harm, no foul. We'll see how she goes.

So, off I go to prepare a sumptuous feast of chicken hearts 'n liver with special spwinkles, make sure the right cat actually eats it and go all coma with Criminal Minds. I'm a super freak, people, a super freak!!!



mrichme said...

Do you give the cat bran to help achieve a BM? Just curious.

Sheepish Annie said...

Psyllium Husk.

camadsmom said...

Super Freak, Super Freak

I loved that song. I am reading The Theft of Persephone with my class this week. coincidence ... I think not. Just wanted to share.

Auntie Heidi said...

haha! Trust me, I can empathize (sp?) My little puppy often gets diarrhea. But, luckily I don't have to make the food sound special - he'll eat anything that is in peanut butter!

Talking about constipation though reminds me of a patient I had that was so constipated I had to stick my finger... oh, wait, you probably don't want to hear about that do you... sorry. ;)

Mia said...

Oh my God.. you need a TV show sitcom, woman... really..! I'd even TiVo it!

That black cat is gorgeous.. but um... I didn't know about the cat constipation issue before I got Lizzy...

I'm afraid.. very, very afraid...