A Moment Of Silence...

It is a tragedy of epic proportions. The Sheep is draped from head to hoof in black and weeping copiously into a lace hanky. Well, she's actually draped in pink flannel jammies and snorting into a "store brand" tissue, but you get the idea. This is the worst thing to happen to me since the coffee mate shortage of '92. I don't know if I'm going to make it through this one.

The cord that plugs my Bubba Keg gi-normous coffee mug into the not-a-lighter-plug-thingie in my truck has died. That's right: died. It will not work. It will not make coffee stay hot. It will not maintain the temperature of the only beverage that makes life bearable. It is dead.

Did this have to happen on a Monday? Did it have to happen on day one of Maine Educational Assessment testing? Did it have to happen on the day I have to somehow convince a group of challenged third and fourth graders to suck it up and take an hours long paper and pencil test which focuses on all their weaknesses?

Apparently, yes. It did have to happen.

I tried to make the best of it. I moved the CD changer to slot 2 and belted out The Sheep's best rendition of "My Humps" at full volume. (I envision many readers silently raising their eyes heavenward and thanking whatever higher power to whom they relate that they missed that little show on the morning commute)

I repeatedly told myself that the cooler temperature of the coffee would help to make the caffeine rush through my veins and central nervous system at a much faster rate.

I thought warm thoughts.

It didn't work. It's just not the same. I was thinking of taking a bereavement day from school, but a quick review of my contract convinced me that this probably wouldn't work. So until I can hit the local WalMart for a replacement it looks like The Sheep will be drinking her coffee without the warm, electricky goodness only a Ford battery can provide.

I will miss you, old friend. Now, go into the light.

SA