Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Weird Wednesday...

I know it is Wednesday night.  I can see the date clearly on my pencil holder.  My pencil holder also tells me the temperature and the time.  I have a very high tech pencil holder.  Who wouldn't trust such a fine example of modern engineering?  Yup.  It is Wednesday night.

So why am I sitting in my office at school and typing the Wednesday Night Bullet Post on my crappy school laptop?  Why am I wearing shoes?  Why am I not swaddled in flannel and chucking merrily away at the antics of the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty?

Parent Conferences, that's why.  I have to be at school tonight no matter how few appointments I actually have on my calendar.  Fortunately, the filters here at the middle school are friendly buggers and don't seem to have a problem with my posting from here.  Let the Bullet Post commence!  (it's not like I have anything else to do....")

*My pencil  holder is also telling me that it is 67 degrees in here.  I'm sort of surprised by that since it feels much colder.  

*But why would my pencil holder lie to me?

*School got out at 11:00 today.  I had one parent conference at 2:30.  I had another at 3:00.

*It is now 6:00.  

*Somebody please send over some clowns or a nice puzzle.

*Anything to break up the boredom...

*I have watched TV on the computer.  That killed an hour.

*I have knit a bit on the "dishcloth."  Now it has a sleeve...

*I swept all the crumbs off the table in the main classroom because the kids had lunch in there today rather than the cafeteria (half-day protocol) and they are slobs.  

*I wandered around downstairs to see if there was anyone to play with, but they were all doing conferences.  So I came back up here.

*That brings you up to date.

*I still have another couple hours to go.

*Seriously.  Send in the clowns.  I'm dying here.

*I did not go to the parent-sponsored dinner.  It was so nice of the parents to bring home cooked dinners.  I know this.

*But where others see a kind gesture and a free meal, I see the opportunity for disgruntled students to poison my food.  

*Just kidding.  I don't really worry about poison.

*I just worry about food that was made by "others."  I have no idea what their kitchens are like.  They are held to no standards that I know of.  They might use dirty knives.  Or sneak vegetables into their recipes.

*I brought some apples and cheese with me in a nice insulated lunch box.  I'm good right where I am.

*"Good" might be overstating things a bit.  I'm sort of hungry if you want the truth.  And cold.  And bored.  And not really all that interested in starting another sleeve for the dishcloth.

*I wonder if the kitties miss me?  

*I wonder if the AGK has figured out a way to bust into the food bag?  Poor thing is probably starving to death by now what with only having those two bowls of food left out for the day.  I would imagine that he is wasting away to nothing without me there to tend to him.

*I should call him...

*Today was one of those days where I deeply regret not wearing a winter coat.  It is freeeeeezing!  I did, however, remember to wear my Maine Morning Mitts.  

*It is now 6:10.  Is that all?

*I am beginning to suspect that my pencil holder is lying to me.  It is trying to tell me that mere minutes have passed when I know it has been six days and that the temperature in here is bearable.  

*Stupid lying pencil holder with the digital display!  You lie!  Just like all digital displays!!!!!  You should just be a plain pencil holder without all the gadgetry!  Then you'd be humble and know the meaning of the simple truths!!

*Seriously.  I need those clowns people.  And the puzzle.  And maybe a nice piece of toast with extra butter.  Things seem to be going downhill fast...

I'm going to stop the madness now.  I think it best that I return to going quietly insane rather than dragging you all along for the ride.  I'm sure that things will start to look up soon.  If nothing else, 8:00 will arrive and I will be released from my prison to fly free like the Sheep was meant to fly!

Or I will sneak out the window to the roof and repel down the side of the building to my waiting car.  Whichever...



Anonymous said...

I vote for the rappeling.

It's a sad sad day when you can't trust your pencil to tell you the time and the temperature, and when there have been no clowns sent in.

trek said...

Go play the Fantastic Contraption. Look, here's the link so you don't have to Google it.

Kath said...

I cannot possibly top trek - that game is amazing. But thank the FSM you can use your laptop at that school!

catsmum said...

Well, I guess that explains the mysterious email asking Sophie, Oakley and MissC to please send Greenies [ and we don't even HAVE Greenies here in OZ ]

Donna Lee said...

I tolerated the conferences but the down time. That is almost unbearable. Cruel and unusual punishment. At least your laptop (inadequate as it is) is trying to be entertaining unlike the lying pencil holder. That's what you get for letting it get above its station in life.

Karen said...

Time flies when you're having fun. Obviously you're not. Sorry.

Cursing Mama said...

So you clearly didn't make it to the library for Are You There God It's Me Margaret.
Now what will everyone in school talk about for the rest of the week?

Knitting Linguist said...

I'm extremely entertained by the mental image of a flying Sheep. Seriously. (Ummm, are we not supposed to notice that the sleeved object is flying under the radar?)

knitseashore said...

Let's not even think about how awful it would be if the school had filters.

deanb said...

Unless it's too much like work, next time you're asking "send in the puzzles" look at

I just started doing it in the Boston Globe, haven't seen it in Press-Herald.

Might even come in handy at school