Sunday, October 26, 2008

I Can Take A Hint

I guess maybe I've been out and about a bit more than usual these days.  I hadn't really given it much thought.  However, it seems that the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty has been giving the matter a great deal of consideration.  After I returned home this morning from a quick trip to The Convenience Store Where They Call You Honey And Sweetie And You Sort Of Like That, he parked himself in front of the door.  

In fact, he stretched himself out to his full length, looking for all the world like the most Gi-normous Draft Catcher ever invented.  I've seen those things in catalogues, but never dreamed I'd be privileged enough to own one.  Certainly not one of such magnificent girth, at any rate.

I took the hint.  I had no choice.  He lay there for an hour or so.  I'm nothing if not observant and able to pick up on the subtle nuances of feline behavior...

Besides, I had stuff to do anyway.  In spite of taking Friday off from school, I found myself woefully behind in getting ready for the upcoming work week.  Now, with Sunday evening upon me, I find myself only slightly behind.  That is an improvement.  If nothing else, I will have one or two things upon which to nosh come mealtimes and the thermos which transports my daily coffee rations has been washed out.

I probably would have done more had I not found so many other diversions over the weekend.  On the recommendation of a student of mine, I picked up a copy of Twilight last Thursday.  Good stuff.  And I'm as surprised as the rest of you that I hadn't read it yet.  I guess it takes the nagging influence of an 8th grade boy to make me realize that I need to keep up with the reading list...

October is also the time when a girl in search of cheap DVDs for her viewing pleasure can strike gold.  I'd hoped that the copy of Zombie Nation I dug out of the Halloween promotions bin might be just such a find.  It was not.  Not by a long shot.

I can't be certain just what the point of the whole thing was.  The best I could come up with after an hour of meandering set-up, the introduction of random characters with little to do with the overall plot and a soundtrack that hearkened back to the 80's in the worst possible way was this:

If you are dispatched by a crazy cop then brought back from the grave by voodoo priestesses, you get to emerge from the earth free from dirt, bugs or anything else that might get in your way as you claw to the surface.  You will have naught to show for the experience save a shambling gait (which will disappear quickly in order that you might slink about seductively) and severely blackened eyes.  And, even in this state, guys will give you a ride.

The ever-alert writers handily explained the whole fresh-as-a-daisy-right-out-of-the-grave situation by letting the viewers know that this was merely an illusion and that a quick look in the mirror would reveal the true nature of the dead.  They proved it with two fleeting mirror shots.  I'm guessing that this pretty much slashed the special effects budget by half.  Why they didn't put this windfall to use in set design is anybody's guess at this point.  I suppose they liked the idea of using the same warehouse for each and every scene...

Bad movie.  Very bad.  By now, I'm certain that most of you are aware of my less than mainstream taste in movies.  I'm a fan of the "B" genre.  Heck, if I can find a "C" that is good, too.  But there is a limit to what I will tolerate!  A low budget is no excuse for laziness.  B movies have to try harder.  That's the rule.  

Putting zombies in mirror shades and fashionable footwear is lazy.  Giving them jobs in law enforcement at the end of the movie is just wrong.  Telling them that they should be eating cheeseburgers instead of human flesh is bordering on heresy.  And having the zombies agree to this?  I don't even want to talk about it...

Nor will I apologize for the spoilers.  I'm saving you time and money here.  

Any movie, however bad, is good for sitting and knitting, though.  Plus it keeps you from having to look at the screen.  



The Big, Fluffy Kitty thoroughly inspected my work and seemed pleased.  She was less pleased when I had to remove her from what she thought might be a good napping spot...


Parts and pieces.  Of a "dishcloth."  Not a sweater.  We don't say the "s" word around here until the final underarm seam is grafted and even then we whisper it.  The Blog Sweater Curse could rear its ugly head at any moment!

And the AGK?  Once satisfied that I would not be making any further ill-advised escape attempts, he retreated to the safety of The Giant Tunnel Connector Thing That I Bought By Accident.  He snoozed the day away in what appeared to be perfect contentment.


Iz still watchin'.  You jus' stay put.  I gots cat-like reflexes.  They just takes a minute iz all...


I hope he has a working understanding of the schedule around here.  Otherwise, I may be forced to call the school tomorrow to report my absence.  I wonder if they will accept "trapped by needy cat" as a valid excuse for a sick day?

SA

11 comments:

Kath said...

Be warned - it only starts with Twilight, there are more books that follow, and it is ridiculously addictive, especially when you consider it is written about teenagers! (I'm on the third book now - sheesh...)

Anne said...

Yes, and by the time you get to book 4 you may also want to read some of the fan fiction, which in some cases is more interesting and less enraging than breaking Dawn ... around here we had some good conversations about female role models for teenagers in literature, as well.

Jeanne said...

"Trapped by needy cat" is a valid excuse, especially when they are Ginormous and overly adorable.

Alwen said...

I used to have a lapdog who would take over my lap and gnaw on her nylabone, then fall asleep. If I wiggled my lap, she would just jiggle like a big hairy 25-lb bowl of jello.

"I can't move. I've got dog-lap."

mehitabel said...

I think it's a valid excuse. When Hi-Hi (my own gi-normous fluffball) feels needy, as in, I've been away from the house more than 10 minutes, he wakes me up every 2 hours all night long for his missing cuddles.
Twilight is addictive. VEry. My friend got it on Kindle and has read all 4 books 3 times now and is thinking of starting over.

kmkat said...

The dIsHcLoTh is lookin' good! As are AGK and BFK, of course.

trek said...

Impressive progress on the "dishcloth"! Looks small, though. Is this a dishcloth for the soon to be nephew?

And I still like the color.

Anne said...

They have probably heard not-so-good excuses than yours before. I think it's 100% valid.

Love the color of the "dishcloth".

Donna Lee said...

A good B movie is a thing of artistic beauty. Dollman and the Puppet Master are two favorites, even though there are no zombies. My cat was sitting in the doorway and I can't leave for work. Totally valid excuse in my book.

Lorraine said...

Love the color of the new dishcloth.

And I think calling in "sick" is totally appropriate. I'm always making the kids fetch and carry because I have a little fluffy kitty on my lap.

BTW, my word verification is "halkedi". Say it out loud and you'll hear the irony.

debsnm said...

I've been so busy reading and obsessing that the knitting (and blog-visiting) has greatly suffered. Rest assured that when you go off the deep end over these books, you will be in, if not excellent, at least a *lot* of company. DD found this today: OCD - Obsessive Cullen Disorder. You've been warned! LOL