Wednesday, April 08, 2009

WNBP: Now With Custard And Baby Heads!

Ahhhh...midweek!  That glorious day that is the symbol of "almost there" to those of us who really need to see an end point.  And it is also the day where the Wednesday Night Bullet Post rules the interwebs.  At least my corner of 'em.  Let's see what the high points were today:

*It was a half day for the students at my school today.

*Half days let us do all that staff development stuff without losing teaching days.  

*Or having to get paid to go back to work during the summer months.

*They are often weird days with weird schedules.  

*But I get to eat lunch without the kids so that's kind of a perk.

*The Second Best Conversation Of The Day:

Kid Who Has Worn The Same Sweatshirt Every Day All Year Long:  I don't like custard.  Just the sight of it makes me sick.

Ms. Sheep:  That's OK.  You don't have to like custard.  I didn't like it when I was your age either.

KWHWTSSEDAYL:  I can't even look at an eclair!  Arrgghh!

MS:  I said it's OK.  Stop thinking about it before you hork all over the floor on a half day of school, thereby taking the joy out the lunch break I get to have later without you!

KWHWTSSEDAYL:  I sometimes wonder what it tastes like, though.  Is the mustard flavor really strong?

MS:  Wha....???

KWHWTSSEDAYL:  The mustard...can you taste it?

MS:  There is no mustard in custard.  It is yellow because of the eggs, I think.  And the rhyme has nothing to do with the taste.  It tastes like pudding.

KWHWTSSEDAYL:  Are you kidding me?  Pudding?  You mean like regular pudding?

MS:  I do not lie about desserts.  It's like a religion with me.

KWHWTSSEDAYL:  Oh my God!  Do you have any idea how many desserts I've missed????  

MS:  You are young.  You have your whole life ahead of you, sweetie.  

*The Absolute Best Conversation Of The Day:

Random Kid:  (to The Kid Who Always Carries The Big Gym Bag):  So...Whatcha got in there today?  Somethin' fun?

KWACTBGB:  Well, let's take a look!  

(He rummages around in this Bag 'o Wonders then yells out triumphantly)


*As God is my witness, he pulled a disembodied baby doll head out of his bag.

*Then he pulled out the arms and legs.  Which he combined with the head to create some sort of weird baby configuration that was nothing like a real baby and much scarier.

*Later, he tied the baby head to a piece of rope he found in his gym bag and carried it around all day.  

*When he swung it really fast, it whistled through the hole in the neck stump.

*He had no real explanation for why he had a baby head in his bag.

*It was his birthday today so I let it go.  Sometimes you just have to accept it when custard and baby heads land in your lap.

*I didn't knit much at the teacher workshops today.  They put us in work groups and monitored our progress.

*I read the email before the meeting and put together all the materials they said we needed for this workshop.

*I needed none of it.  

*I could have probably used the time spent gathering useless materials more effectively had I used it to read the email a little more carefully or by asking one or two questions.

*Like whether or not this was an all-afternoon event.

*It ended early.  I had nothing else planned for the afternoon and two hours to in which do all that nothing.

*I talked about volcanoes with my staff.  We are doing a project on volcanoes with the kids.  

*It was better than talking about baby heads.  Custard would have been OK, I guess.  

*But now I think of mustard when I think of custard and that is not OK.

*I just need some time.  I'll be OK with custard again.  

*Everyone in my workshop group was impressed when I put aside my knitting right before the superintendent of schools walked in.  I said that I'd felt a disturbance in the force...

*Actually, I was just tired of knitting and planning a short break.  

*But then I didn't dare to pick it up again.  What if I was knitting when the assistant superintendent came in?

*I'd look far less wise and all-knowing.

*I tricked the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty this morning.  Since I didn't want him climbing the shower curtain again while I was completing the first portion of the Morning Sheepish Beautification Routine, I fed him before heading into the bathroom.  I figured the food would distract him handily

*It worked.

*Until he caught on to the fact that I was running water in the house without his direct supervision.

*He spent a good fifteen minutes flinging his gi-normous self at the bathroom door and howling piteously.  

*Now I have to decide which I value more:  My bathroom door or my shower curtain.  One of them is going to be the victim of his Absurdly Gi-normous Abuse.

And now I must bid you, "Good Evening."  It has been a very full day, fraught with panicking, dehydrated kitties, workshops with inconvenient agendas and baby heads as far as the eye can see.  I'm certain you can understand how I might be a little tuckered out after all that.  I need my rest if I am to get up and do it all over again tomorrow.  

Except that tomorrow is not a half day of school and I'm sort of scared about what comes after baby heads...



Kath said...

I hope you don't mind me saying this but - you've got some weird kids in your class. I'd be kinda concerned about what else comes out of that bag after baby heads and misc. parts!

Clearly you need an eclair. That should make the day better.

Mouse said...

That kid with the baby doll head in his bag is either going to be the next Tim Burton or the next Ted Bundy.. I'm not sure which.

Jeanne said...

Heh heh.

I can just hear the kids.

Poor AGK, so left out...

trek said...

Number Guy observed that you do not teach the mainstream children.

Thanks okay, though: neither do I, apparently...

Mel said...

Mustard could be a component of a custard if it were of a savoury sort. Of course, one could very well argue the merits or lack thereof of a savoury custard, but culinarily speaking, it's conceivable.

Mia said...

you? the zombie warrior is gonna worry about a little 'ole baby head???

catsmum said...

I think the custard conversation is one of the best things I have ever read - and that's really saying something because I too was a teacher back in the Late Cretaceous period and have heard some gems in my time

Anonymous said...

Baby heads? I'm thinking you've got a future sereal killer on your hands.

As for the mustard custard, I think you should eat custard filled desserts until all thought of mustard is gone! I'm guessing it'll take several eclairs to do the trick.

Anonymous said...

LOL! The kid with the baby head is just too funny. The sad part is that I could see some of my students doing something similar.

I hope today is marginally calmer. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Look at it this way, you and your unusual kids are definitely providing much needed comedy relief in an over stressed world.

Thanks for the laugh and be afraid, very afraid of what might come next!

Donna Lee said...

I have this yogurt in front of me and all I can think about is how much I really want an eclair. So not fair.

Cursing Mama said...

I imagine it is things like custard misunderstandings and flying baby heads that make your chosen profession truly rewarding.

DeanB said...

I read a great book _Out of the Crater_ about volcanos a few years ago (recommended by someone else on the internet)

Karen said...

Yum custard!
One day you are going to say "I was KWACTBGB's teacher and I just knew this would happen." I really hope it's something good:)