Thursday, April 16, 2009

Thursday: The Day Before The Last Day Before...

I believe that the overall "tone" of this day can be distilled down into two conversations. The first happened shortly before lunch and during what we could still call the morning. The second occurred after the students left for the day and while I was trying to pull together something, anything, that might suffice as a lesson plan for tomorrow.

I arrived at school at the ungodly hour of 6:30 today because yesterday was not a good day for doing anything productive. Nor was the day before that. Or the day before that. This could probably account for my spending more time engaging in witty banter than teaching.

Conversation The First:

The Husky Redheaded Kid Who Reminds Me Of My Cat (and who has had a very tough week) is chatting with his peers regarding the very important matter of who is going to sit with whom at lunch. He has accepted an invitation and other students are jockeying for positions at the same table. Ms. Sheep has accepted that her priorities (namely the finishing of Science and Social Studies before lunch) are not that important.

HRKWRMOMC: So who else is coming? Bob, you in? Tom?

Ms. Sheep: Can I sit with you? I want to come, too!

HRKWRMOMC: No.

MS: Pleeeeeeeeease???? I wanna sit with you! I'll be good, I swear it!

HRKWRMOMC: No.

MS: Awwww...c'mon! I'll just sit there. I won't say a word.

HRKWRMOMC: No!

MS: But...

HRKWRMOMC: NO!

MS: You won't even know I'm there.

HRKWRMOMC: (now ignoring Ms. Sheep)

MS: I'll just sit there and knit...

HRKWRMOMC: (with a look of utter horror) Oh God, NO!!!!!

There is a pause and then the both he and Ms. Sheep crack up. The Husky Redheaded Kid may have had a horrible week and was barely holding himself together by the thinnest of threads, but he never seems to lose his sense of humor. He "gets" me. This is a good thing.

Of course, he was the one who was supposed to bring in the movie for tomorrow. His eventual invitation to start his spring break a day early courtesy of the assistant principal left me in a bit of a lurch. I was less amused when I had to run out to pick up a copy of Twilight so that we could follow through on our promise to show this film if the kids could just not kill each other between Monday and the start of vacation.


Conversation The Second:

Ms. Sheep is wearily trying to photocopy some stuff for the kids to do tomorrow. There are about four billion staff members in the teacher's room and the principal is leaning comfortably against the copier while it collates and staples her language arts packets. Suddenly, the copier stops. There is a picture on the information screen. It is a diagram that Ms. Sheep has seen many times over the last few days and one which requires that she, once again, travel down to the main office and confess to the secretary that she has jammed the photocopier. She does not want to do this. She knows that this will not make the secretary happy. She also knows that she is not allowed to clear the machine herself. That is a rule. She is in an agony of indecision and softly speaks of her angst. Note that I say she said this softly...no one should have heard her.

MS: ...I have to join the Witness Protection program now.

Four Billion People And The Principal In Unison: GASP!!!

Before Ms. Sheep can even process the fact that everyone heard the whispered voicing of her dilemma...

Mr. Principal: OK, people. You know what to do. Let's move.

He then, and you may think I'm kidding but I am as serious as a funeral here, began ushering the crowd out of the teacher's room and into the hallway. I was left standing alone by the jammed copier with no one to comfort me in my hour of need.

The secretary was kind, but in a sort of exasperated way. I don't blame her. I've managed to jam that copier every day for a week now. On the positive side, she did cast a chastising look at all the people who were standing in the hallway and grinning happily at my predicament.

For the record, I have never been invited to any of the Copier Jam Emergency Evacuation Drills. But clearly they are happening because I've never before seen a more orderly emptying of a room.

I didn't bother trying to finish my copying. I just got my stuff and went home. I know when I'm beat. I hit the store to pick up the movie for the kids, as well as a stack of viewing material for myself. (my new TV has a DVD player built right in so I had to buy some new movies to test it, right?) An ungodly amount of snack foods were also purchased because, this time tomorrow, there is no way I am going to be dieting. (I tested some of the goodies tonight because it wouldn't do to have stale snack foods in the house for my vacation, right?) I am now counting down the hours.

One more day. One more day of jammed copiers and colleagues who will throw me under the bus before standing by my side when the secretary must be called. One more day of students who won't do their work and who also don't want me to sit with them at lunch. If I can survive just one more day, I get to come home and sleep for a week.

I'll still be eating lunch by myself but, somehow, that doesn't seem so bad...

SA




12 comments:

Charleen said...

Enjoy! After just five days back I'm ready for another spring break!

Julie said...

Yay for vacation week! Don't sleep through the whole thing though, you have to wake up long enough to come to Chicks with Sticks on Tuesday night.

trek said...

Enjoy the vacation!

Think of me while you do, okay?

(three and a half weeks to go...)

Yarnhog said...

I snort-laughed at your copier story!

At my school, they make you take lessons on how to use the copiers before they give you an access code. Even so, every time I have to copy something, the paper trays are all empty, the master roll needs replacing, the ink is used up, the machine is jammed, and there is a "call for service" message on the screen (we have these nasty RISO machines, not normal copiers at all). I guess no one paid attention to the "here's how to fix it" part of the lessons.

Mia said...

Yes, the unjamming of the copy machine is always a horror and most of us secretaries absolute HATE it ::laughing:: ButHang in there sheepie - you can do it! And the TV has build in DVD too???? AND you have fresh snacks??

Sounds like a very, very good Friday night to me. Enjoy!

Karen said...

Enjoy your movies and snacks. You've earned them.

Anonymous said...

I know of no one who deserves a Spring Break more than you! Enjoy your week and the increased time available for both BFK and AGK. Oh, and for some snacking, TV-ing and perhaps a knit stitch or two?

Knitting Linguist said...

You are so close. And no, eating lunch alone (well, alone but for the company of AGKs at least) is not a bad thing at all, when it also means being able to peacefully read a book or watch a movie without having to listen for the dreaded thunk of a jammed copier...

Cursing Mama said...

I'm having lunch all by myself right now (wow does that sound pathetic) it's not so bad though because I get to surf the innernets.
Happy Spring Break!

Kath said...

Seriously? Of all the tasks I've had to do in my secretarial years unjamming the copier for someone is the least painful. And the person who jammed it is always so apologetic, which is nice. But as for those people who jam the copier/run out of toner/use the last ream of paper and then just walk away WITHOUT reporting it and leave it for the next person to find and deal with? Oh yeah, there's a place for those people...

Jeanne said...

You're almost there. Actually, by now, you should BE there.

After all the descriptions of the HRKWRMOMC, I'm dying to see what he looks like, though I know that posting his photo is verboten. I just can't get the image out of my head of a boy with tufts of orange and white cat hair and a faintly feline face walking upright beside you.

Bridget said...

I was beginning to wonder what happened to the Husky Redheaded Kid ...

Enjoy your break!