Monday, April 06, 2009

Living The Beige Life

The alarm went off this morning and I simply couldn't believe it.  On almost every level of consciousness, I knew that it was Monday.  I really, really knew it.  I just couldn't believe it.  Where did the weekend go?  And in what kind of cruel universe was I being expected to go back to work after last week's Festival 'o Horror?

I wanted to crawl back under the covers and live in my world of disbelief.  But I'd set the alarm to Screeching Seagulls and that one always scares the ever lovin' bejeezus out of me when it goes off.  It's good for Monday morning.  The Crowing Rooster setting works pretty well, too.  

I set off under rainy skies, landed at the school where they keep my paychecks and began my day.  It was a very, very beige kind of day.  Bland.  Colorless.

The 7th graders were all scheduled to be at Drug Awareness seminars for the entire day, leaving me behind with the 8th graders and one lone 6th grader.  I don't know if it was the weather or if we were all just so tuckered out from last week's endless dramas, but none of us were really motivated to do much of anything.  At one point, I questioned whether there might be some kind of gas leak or something.  The Drug Awareness presenters probably could have used us as examples of what substance abuse can do to a body.  We were like limp noodles.  Very, beige noodles with no sauce whatsoever.  Even The Girl Who Hates My Very Existence And Lives To Torture Me admitted that it just wasn't worth the energy today.  Things perked up a bit when one kid asked me if I would ever post bail for him, but that was a kind of short-lived diversion.  We were back to beige in no time.

*That's a lie.  The Great Bail Debate was the second most interesting thing.  The first was when I happened to notice the stapler sitting in the middle of the table and pondered aloud how I'd forgotten to put it away again.  The Bail-Kid said, "Oh, that was me.  I have this hole in my pants that I needed to fix.  Stuff kept coming out of it that shouldn't..."  I didn't tell you about that because it seemed unfair for you to have to live with the same horrifying image that has haunted me all day long.  Why should we all have to be in therapy?

**This is the same kid who sneezed on my shoe back in February and who I hold personally responsible for ruining my winter break with his generous sharing of the plague.  Just ask him.  He'll cheerfully admit to it.

***For the record, I told him that the posting of his bail would depend on the circumstances.  I'd probably do it if he really needed it.  But not if he was a serial killer or anything like that.  I have my limits.

****And yes.  I am boiling my stapler.


That was the most interesting thing to happen all day.  We bumbled along like we were just coming out of anesthesia until the final bell rang.  I checked with other staff and students just to see if we were the only ones suffering with this malaise.  It seems that most people working in that building were feeling a bit logy.  It was a day without color, beige in spite of our best efforts.

And the feeling has persisted.  I don't even really remember the drive home.  There are no dents in the car and I wasn't followed by a cadre of police cruisers so I assume I didn't run over any pedestrians.  That's good.  But I can't really celebrate.  I'm just too beige.  The rains keep raining, my energy continues to flag and I remain quite colorless.




It's no wonder I can't seem to make any progress on the sock...


I wonder what would happen if I ate vanilla ice cream, wore unbleached cotton and knit up one of those nifty Irish sweaters in shades of cream with five million cables?  Maybe if I offset the beige with lots of beige, they'd cancel each other out...

SA

13 comments:

Julie said...

All I could think while reading this post is "Beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Oh lordy, isn't anything sacred? Now you have 8th grade boys telling you about their "stuff"?!

Mel said...

Ran into one of the neighbors today who just finished her first day as a substitute. With 8th graders. Fortunately, it was art class and she's an artist, so it turned out not so bad. But still, 8th graders.

Kath said...

No, there really is such a thing as too much beige, I wouldn't go there. I think you need sunlight and bright colors!

Mia said...

you're so funny sheepie :) I know you hate it but I think it would be fun to spend a day at your work hehehe. and you could spend a day at mine - like the one yesterday where i had to stare at a blank screen all day because of all the thousands of computers in our system - MINE had a virus and has been totally locked down since friday. no internets surfin' at work for me today.

but hey.. maybe we can hope for tan today rather than the beige? hehehe.. OR we could live wild and go for gray hehehe...

trek said...

It's the weather getting to you, Sheepie. And this stupid time change that is now a month old but really should have happened over this past weekend. It's throwing all of us off our game because sun late in the day is supposed to mean spring - not more winter like we've had fo so long.

The temperature now is 37°F.

Donna Lee said...

I'm with trek. It's the time change change. And that's probably why I can't wrap my mind around the fact that it's easter this weekend....

Alwen said...

And guess what? KnitPicks has the perfect yarn for the beige life!

http://www.knitpicks.com/Simply+Cotton+Sport+Yarn_YD5420185.html

(I just got my catalog in the mail yesterday - that yarn might be organic, but it's also beige!)

kmkat said...

At least a beige day is ever so slightly more colorful than a gray day.

Yarnhog said...

It must be the age. My sixth grader came home from band picture day with his tie stapled to his shirt. For the record, it didn't start out that way. He said it got too tight, so he had to take it off to loosen it, and then he couldn't get it tied again, so he stapled it to his shirt. I can't wait to see those pictures.

=Tamar said...

It's going around. I recently considered using multiple non-matching shades of off-white to knit a blah Fairisle something.

Karen said...

You're lucky that kid was good with the stapler. Imagine having to take him to the nurse if the stapling hadn't gone as planned...

Anonymous said...

Hey, Sheepie, Do you remember the time when you were in Jr. High that you stapled yourself to the stapler? And Mr. VG attached the staple to your permanent record.

MS just reminded me.

Dad S.

Jeanne said...

I haz the beigez, too. Or I did have, until I saw Yarnhog's comment. ROTFLMAO. Thank you for that.

Don't worry, Sheepie. It will get less beige soon.