Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Rules By Which I Live...mostly.

I live my life by a series of rules.  Some are quite logical and rational.  For example:

Always use the restroom before a car trip which is expected to exceed one hour.  That way you only have to stop once rather than four times.

Others, while completely outside my ability to resist following, are less easy to justify:

Checking the lock on the front door three times will ensure that it is secure and allow you to get on with your day.  Anything less than that will cause the lock to spontaneously fail at midday while you are at work and when you get home you will find that all your stuff has been loaded into a truck and is long since gone.

I try to follow the rules.  Mostly, I do pretty well.  This morning I remembered that a car left sitting in the elements during a stretch of cold weather will be less likely to start when you need it to do so.  Hence, I took a largely unnecessary trip to The Convenience Store Where They Call You Honey And Sweetie And You Sort Of Like That to purchase a jumbo-sized Mountain Dew.  I did not really need the soda.  But I thought it would be a good idea to remind my car that it has a purpose in life other than freezing to death.

Other rules, however, were flagrantly disregarded this fine Saturday.  I really should be rather ashamed.  And yet I seem to be finding an odd sense of pride in this fact.

Shattered Rule #1:  Everything In Moderation

Snack foods can be your friend.  But they do not for a balanced diet make.  And, if you happen to overindulge in rich, gooey, spicy, greasy stuff on a Friday night, it is not outside the realm of possibility that you will awaken in the wee hours of the following Saturday morning with a tummy ache of epic proportions.  Fortunately, this is the sort of thing that passes quickly.  It also lets you start your day nice and early.  This allows you to make that convenience store run by the dawn's early light and still have time to spare for quality cartoon viewing.

Shattered Rule #2:  Don't Go Looking For Trouble

I never pick up the mail on a weekend.  There may be bills in there and I firmly believe that people who want my money have no business intruding upon my days of rest.  They can wait until Monday when I am going to be miserable anyway.  However, I happened to check on the delivery status of an expected package while I was waiting out the stomach ache this morning and discovered that Part Two of a Three Act Shipping Show was waiting in my mailbox.  I broke the rules and snagged the mail on my way out this morning to walk the car.  I am pleased to report that there were no bills.  I guess this means that the various entities who want my money are better about the rules than I am these days.






Zombie Packs 1 and 2 are now safely home and awaiting my attention.


Shattered Rule #3:  Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Chew

I probably would have kept this to myself had I not been trying to include something of a fibery nature in this post.  (That's a rule, too...I always try to at least mention the woolly stuff)  With perfectly good fiber on the wheel and two other spindles awaiting my nimble fingers, I still found it preferable to play with the alpaca that I got for Christmas from SIL Sheep.  What can I say?  It's pretty.  And of a manageable amount.  And I just felt like it...

Shattered Rule #4:  Good Parenting Is Not A Part Time Job

I have set many bad examples today.  Hence, it should not have surprised me in the least that the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty followed suit.  He broke every rule ever made for a cat in any home.  He chased and teased his sister.  He scattered his food all over the floor.  He scratched my arm in protest when I attempted to administer a much needed Time Out.  He sat upon the kitchen counters proudly and in full view of his disapproving mother.  I should probably send him to military school or something.  But I can't stay mad at him.  Once he settles down from his morning romps, it's pretty much impossible.


Could you?  I didn't think so...


Shattered Rule #5:  Buyer Beware or They're All Out T' Getcha!

Just because Itunes new Genius feature will automatically suggest songs you might like to hear based on what you already have in your library does not mean you have to go purchasing them all willy-nilly.  Although one has to suspect that this is exactly the purpose behind the new gizmo.  I'm usually pretty good about these things, but I'm not made of stone, you know.  Every once in a while a tune pops up that seems like something I will probably die without.  And then I succumb to the Media Bait.  Clicking commences...

If it makes you feel any better about me living over here without adult supervision, I didn't purchase it from Itunes.  I did all the clicking over at Amazon.  What the heck.  I'd already lapsed anyway when I clicked on that "Buy All These Movies As Part Of A Bundle And Save, Save, Save!!!!" button.  (hence the steady trickle of separately-shipped DVDs coming at me...)  I like to think I stayed true to some sort of principle there, but I can't say for certain just what it was.

Still Intact Rule With Which I Can Be Credited:  To Each His/Her Own

You don't have to love this song.  Heck, you don't even have to like it.  Who am I to dictated taste?  (don't answer that...)  But, if you cannot at least appreciate it for its cultural influence then I honestly think we need to have a sit-down to discuss where this relationship is going.  I find it hard to believe that the mid-seventies would have been the same without it not to mention any number of more recent media events.  Give it that much, I beg of you!  

Whatever your thoughts on the whole matter, I'm rather pleased to have it safely tucked away in digital lockdown.  






If nothing else, you can say it's Sweet...

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for sticking with the rules.  I wouldn't encourage you to place any bets on that, but we can all at least think positively.  It's a three day weekend, though.  I've got lots of time to pull it together and start being a more upstanding citizen and role model.

Or to keep eating junk food, watching zombie movies and clicking on stuff...

SA

11 comments:

Mia said...

I'm scared about the zombies just lookin' at the cover of those movies! Yer a brave woman Sheepie :)

trek said...

I have no sound.
I have no laptop.
I have a sick desktop.
With no sound.

But lots of hot water.

Mel said...

You're just so glam!

They still have cartoons on Saturday mornings? I am so out of touch.

My verification word is "unsore". If only I were.

Carrie K said...

I had a completely different idea in my head of who sang that song.

AGK are supposed to go on kitchen counters. At least that was Sheba's theory.

Annie said...

Yay! Ballroom Blitz! Thank you Ms Sheep for transporting me back to the heady days of school discos, snogging and ridiculously high platform shoes that were discarded on the way home...

Kath said...

Those all sound like fine rules to me. Not sayin' I'd be any good at following them though! And while I only have to check the door twice, if the toilet has been recently flushed I can't leave the house until the tank refills and it stops running. Because, well, you get the idea....

Karen said...

That button on Amazon is dangerous and helpful at the same time. Imagine if they sold yarn. Or maybe don't...

kmkat said...

I only use the Genius button to make playlists -- I love it for that. No Genius sidebar on my itunes; I didn't know it could suggest new music. I think I shall keep it that way :-) But I may have to go purchase Ballroom Blitz after listening to it... twice.

AGK's tummy just begs to be scritched. I hope you accommodated him.

kmkat said...

Oh, dear. I just bought Ballroom Blitz, and iTunes DID suggest some more songs, one of which I bought (School's Out by Alice Cooper, thanks for asking). But I don'tthink $1.98 is too much to pay for so much 70s fun.

crzjane said...

Oh heck. Keep breaking the rules. A girl's gotta have some fun sometimes.

Jeanne said...

Thank you. I started with Sweet, went to wikipedia, and got lost in a whole glam metal browse-fest that resulted in my discovering a huge crop of glam metal bands that are from THIS century. Apparently I have to move to Finland to relive the 80s, but hey! It's alive and well somewhere in the world!

I don't get the mail on weekends, or at night. Only during the hours in which I can actually do something about any issues that arise.

Oh, the AGK. The cuteness...