Thursday, January 29, 2009

Regrets

I'm not normally the type of person who wallows in regret.  But, I'm only human and I sometimes can't help but wish I'd made better choices.  For example, I regret not giving myself a little more time this morning.  I thought I'd accounted for everything, but I really didn't give the ice that fell from the sky all night enough credit.  It held my car prisoner quite handily this morning and it took more time than I thought it would to free it.  

I regret not securing the key to my classroom more carefully to the lanyard upon which I hang it.  When you arrive at school in time for morning bus duty but with really only a minute to spare, you don't have the time to go hunting for that key that you just heard drop to the floor of the car.  You also aren't going to find it so there is really no point in wasting precious seconds.  You may even accidentally hit the panic button on your key fob when you lean into the back seat and set off the car alarm in front of a billion witnesses.  You should just toss your stuff in the closet next to your securely locked classroom and hustle down to the cafeteria.  Someone will unlock your room...eventually.

And don't even get me started on the decision to not clear the snow off the top of the car before leaving this morning.  Sure, the idea that the sun would eventually melt it wasn't entirely wrong.  But it didn't choose to fall from the roof until I was pulling out of the parking lot, late for a meeting 40 minutes away.  The resulting avalanche on my windshield was very impressive.  And who doesn't want to be the most hated person on the Maine Turnpike as gigantic, half-frozen snow clots fly from your hood at the cars behind you?  Good times...

Then there are the half-regrets.  The things that could have gone badly or still have the potential to do so.  Before I left for my meeting (late) the phone in my office rang.  It was the assistant principal wishing to discuss an issue with one of my students who had downloaded some, um..."inappropriate" material to his school laptop.  A great deal of it.  It is a delicate matter and required a great deal of discussion.  As I pondered our options, I said,

I mean, he's a really good kid but, sheesh!  You turn on his computer and all of a sudden it's like Bwah-Chicka-Wow-Wow.

The latter, done to the right beat, is the Universal Porno Soundtrack and, therein, lies the problem.  I believe there are moments of clarity in one's life.  These are good moments where you see everything exactly as it should be and the path is clear.  I like these moments.  But I sometimes wish that they occurred to me before I Bwah-Chicka-Wow-Wow the assistant principal, a man who is my boss.  That is the sort of thing that really could go horribly wrong.  Think about it.  It's not too difficult to see the possible outcomes.

Fortunately, the assistant principal happens to have a very good sense of humor.  While I clearly surprised him a bit with my sound effects, his bark of laughter indicated that I had dodged a bullet.  Good thing.  I was late for a meeting and didn't have the time to go to Sensitivity Training or read that Why Sexual Harassment Is Bad manual.

I say these things because I have cast on for a new project.  It is another one of those projects that has all the potential of a Regret In The Making.  It is also one of those things that we will only call a Dishcloth With Sleeves because we know that the dark forces are watching.  They do not like it when I knit things with sleeves, and we must be careful lest we attract their attention.

There is a real threat here, people.  I've already had to rip back due to an unfortunate twist in the yarn.  I am also 73.5% sure that I will run out of yarn before the finish line and there is no more of it to be had.  It really is a disaster waiting to happen.

But, if it works, it will be freakin' awesome, you guys!  Totally and completely awesome!  And if it doesn't, the yarn is alpaca.  Let's face it, the worst twenty hours you have spent knitting with alpaca are still pretty good ones, right?  It's worth the potential regret.

I'm still going to play carefully, though.  And maybe toss a Bwah-Chicka-Wow-Wow at the dark forces just to distract them...

SA

8 comments:

Karen said...

Dishcloths with sleeves are the best kind of knitting.
I suppose when you climb under the covers tonight with your kitty bed warmers and you assess your day it will end up being a good day. Any time you can make a superior laugh is a good day.

Julie said...

Would this dishcloth be in the shape of an hourglass by any chance?

kmkat said...

If you run short of yarn for the sleeves of the dishcloth, you could make instead a vest sort of a dishcloth. How do the knitting gods feel about those?

trek said...

Somehow, I suspect that the Dark Forces know all about the Bwah-Chicka-Wow-Wow. Who do you think is in charge of enticing the young males of the species into the Bwah-Chicka-Wow-Wow in the first place?

The Dark Forces have more on their plate than just Dishcloths with Sleeves, you know.

PS - Note to Karen: socks are the best kind of knitting. But alpaca Dishcloths with Sleeves run a very close second.

Carrue J said...

Poor Sheepish Annie. At least it's the weekend and you will presumably have plenty of time to knit the dishcloth-with-sleeves. Being the most hated person on the turnpike should have earned you a karmic point or two.

Donna Lee said...

Knitting with alpaca makes up for a lot, unless there is ripping involved. I'll cross my fingers (well, sometimes but not all the time because it would make it hard to knit that way) for you.

Kath said...

You had me at "Bwah Chicka Wow Wow". But the cat would really like to know why I spent all that time lying on the floor howling with tears streaming from my eyes...

catsmum said...

good luck with the dishcloth - can you use a contrast colour somewhere if you do run out of yarn ?