New Heights

My life has often gotten a bit surreal.  Sometimes, though, it soars to new heights of absurdity.  I try to pretend that this is just the way everyone lives their lives.  But, deep down, I think I know better.

While Ms. Sheep is Trying To Teach Language Arts Class Today:

Student Who Lives A Far More Interesting Life Than I:  (in mid conversation...I can only assume this whole thing started with a discussion about the weather)  And then you can play Alaska!

Student Who Should Know Better But Probably Couldn't Resist Asking:  How do you play that game?  I've never heard of it.

SWLAFMILTI:  You take off all your clothes and see who can handle the cold for the longest.

Everyone In The Room:  (stunned silence)

SWLAFMILTI:  Oh, and I forgot the part where you open the windows.  You take off all your clothes and then you open the windows.  The first one to get cold and get dressed loses.

EITR:  (stunned silence)

SWLAFMILTI:  What?  You've never played that game?

*******

While Ms. Sheep is Trying To Teach Math Class Today:

Student Who Is Only Human:  Ms. Sheep, can I go to the bathroom?

Ms. Sheep:  Of course, dear.  Just remember to wash your hands.  It is becoming more and more clear to me that 14 year old boys do not do that as often as the rest of the world would like.

SWIOH:  'kay!  (disappears into the bathroom)

(Time passes.  Ms. Sheep dutifully teaches her class.  Soon, the inevitable sounds of flushing and running water indicate the conclusion of SHIOH's imminent return to the class and that he will be doing so with clean hands.  Suddenly, from behind the closed door...)

SWIOH:  (in a soft, and oddly high-pitched tone for a teen aged boy)  Yay!!!

Everyone In The Room:  (stunned silence followed by uncomfortable giggles)

SWIOH:  (emerging from the bathroom grinning happily)  Guess what!!

Ms. Sheep:  Um...the evidence would indicate that everything went...um...well?

EITR: (helplessly giggling and incapable of anything remotely math-related)

SWIOH:  Well...yeah.  Thanks for asking.  But there are paper towels in there!  We didn't have those for two days and I had to flap my hands all over the place.  But now we do...yay!!!

MS:  For the rest of the day...no eye contact.  That is the rule.  Glad to hear it all worked out.

The poor kid had to work in the back room for the rest of the period.  He was laughing too hard to be anything less than a distraction and I wasn't helping matters.  My stomach hurt from trying to hold in my own chortles and I couldn't help emitting the occasional, high pitched, "yay" every once in a while.  Had the poor boy not removed himself, he would have ended up back in the bathroom and I think we can all see how this would just be a very vicious cycle.

And it's only Thursday.  And I'm getting a cold...

That's OK.  I am nothing if not able to find the bright spot in any day.  My own version of "normal" may be slightly askew, but it is a comfort to me nonetheless.  My favorite and oh-so-accommodating school librarian can always be counted on to come to the rescue.  If she weren't such a sweetie, I'd surely think her a sorceress!  How else could she have known to put a copy of Brisinger on display right where I'd see it and so soon after I thought about wanting it?  

She's also really good when I say things like, "Don't you love it when you put books out for the kids and then some teacher comes along and snags them?"  She'll say something like, "That is what they are there for!  And it is the long weekend, isn't it?  You just enjoy it!"

Then there was that man in the ski mask who showed up at my door this afternoon.  Normally, I do not recommend opening your door to anyone in a ski mask because they are usually not anyone bearing good tidings.  It is more likely that they are there to set off a dirty bomb, mess with the settings on your DVR or steal a kidney for sale on the black market.  

But this one was also wearing a delivery-dude uniform.  And, since I missed a delivery yesterday, I figured it was worth taking the chance.  It's really cold out there so it makes sense that anyone who is going to be outside for any length of time might wear a ski mask.  Thus, right before that long weekend I was just mentioning, I now also have a three pack of Impending Zombie Apocalypse Training Films to watch!  That's, like, one per day!!!!!!!

We need not even mention the vast supply of fiber I have on hand and the time I can spend spinning merrily away now that my Wheel Mojo has returned.  Why, if I think about it all too much, I get a bit woozy!  I don't know quite how I will stand all the nice, normal, mood-stabilizing joy that is within my reach right now!!!!!

Of course, it probably all pales in comparison to a rousing game of Alaska...

SA