Saturday, January 24, 2009

Oh...

I have had one of those epiphany thingies that sometimes knock me upside the noggin.  I know how much you enjoy it when I come around to the obvious...

It all started when I arrived at school Friday morning.  No.  This is not a story about how, by 8:00, the whole place had turned into something resembling a horror movie with everyone suddenly being struck down by some dread disease and having to leave before they either mutated or puked on the floor.  The tale of how those of us left behind to try and tame the savage student body failed miserably in spite of our valiant efforts would probably be kind of entertaining.  But that's not what this is about.

It's about The Teacher Who Covers The Cafeteria Until The Rest Of Us Start Regularly Scheduled Morning Duties.  I enter the school by the cafeteria door every day since it is the only one open before 7:00 so I greet her each morn.  I know that she is a knitter because I've seen her doing this and we've even spoken of the craft once or twice.  She is a very nice lady and some of her students are part of the every-other-week-bowling-group that the district sponsors so we coordinate transportation together every once in a while.

Yesterday, before all the drama with the Dread Disease Of Doom started, we were still fairly optimistic about the day.  She happened to notice my fingerless gloves as we were rhapsodizing over Friday's educational potential and asked about them.  She even thought she might try to knit a pair if they weren't too hard.  "Where," she asked, "did you get the pattern?"

"Oh," said I, "it's the Maine Morning Mitts.  They are right out of The Knitter's Book Of Yarn."

Blank Look

Seeing that I may need to offer up more in the way of direction, I added, "I'm pretty sure you can find it on Ravelry.  They have a link to everything in the whole, wide world, after all!"

Even Blanker Look.  Yes...that actually is possible.

Now I am flummoxed.  I have to really dig deep to come up with something else that might help her to find the pattern so she can knit it over the weekend.  I'd have offered to loan her the book, but that would mean going home again and it's a forty minute commute.  I didn't think my principal would approve a Knitter's Leave Of Absence.  Even a short one.  Finally, I managed to come up with:

"Um...there used to be a pdf out there somewhere.  You could maybe, you know...Google it or something."

The terms pdf and Google seemed to register.  I got a bit cocky at that point and thought that I'd maybe found the right path.

"Yeah," I said enthusiastically, "I saw that one on someone's blog once and that's how I ended up finding it myself now that I think of it...have you ever read (insert name of blog that I can't remember referencing here)?"

Back to the Blank Look.


Here's the thing:  Most people, it seems, are able to knit unfettered by the interwebs.

  I know.  It's crazy!  

But there is a whole movement out there devoted to knitting without any understanding of how a photo upload and storage site will enrich their lives.  They don't have to write code in order to center a picture of a half finished sock.  They have never participated in a knit-along or a swap with people they've never met before.  And, wait until you hear this...you'll just die...they don't know that they have never been to Rhinebeck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was in a complete kerfuffle all day long.  If I hadn't had the situation with the eighty-five million sickly staff people fleeing the building, I don't know as I would have made it until the final dismissal bell.  I probably would have had one of those Cerebral Events I keep saying I'm going to have, but never really get around to.  It is so perplexing...

To each his own, I suppose.  To them, I am probably just as alien and exotic-looking what with my on-line connections and Ravelry screen name.  Although I tend to doubt it.  The Nice Lady's very, very Blank Looks lead me to believe that she is more inclined to think I am hallucinating or that I live in one of those Second-Life type places and am slowly losing any connection to the real world.  

Or maybe it's a combination of those things.  I dunno...  I got distracted by the visitation of The Plague upon my school district so I never got to ask her.  Hopefully she was spared and lived to see the weekend.  I can ask her on Monday.

At any rate, I happen to like having my knitting life sort of melded with my digital life.  It keeps me honest while I am working on projects since people are checking in to see how things are moving along.  Except when it doesn't keep me honest and I simply pretend that a WIP never existed or tell everyone that there was a tragic needle explosion which took out the poor hat upon which I was knitting.  Otherwise, it is a pretty good system for keeping track of the projects

And we mustn't forget that there are so very many other things you can force people to look at when you live online for part of your day.  I recently completed a three-month marathon of soda drinking that did not involve my beloved Mountain Dew.  I was drinking an alternate brand in order that I might download free music using secret and mysterious codes hidden under the caps.  Hence, I have been able to gather up all sorts of tunes, the type to which I used to boogie down back in the days when I could do so without my hip making that weird crackly sound.  Further, I can upload video of these gems (sometimes centered, sometimes not) and cause the few young, hip readers I once had to run screaming to sites less moldy.  

I miss them.  But not enough to stop trying to find videos that capture the essence of my new playlists.  Sorry...








Cheap Trick - Surrender (Official Music Video) - Funny video clips are a click away


The interwebs are just cool! (even if you get the occasional video that just won't play according to code and center itself without lots of coaxing...)

SA

16 comments:

kalkette said...

One of our local knitgroups is some ladies who have been meeting for like 30 years and while we all chat about the meetups on Ravelry, they know nothing about it.
It's so strange to think that they don't know! All of what they are missing. So sad.

kmkat said...

I am picturing you (a past you, actually) as one of those girls screaming in the background during the Journey video :-)

MathIsBeauty said...

It still leaves me dumbfounded when I meet a knitter who has not heard of Rav. I immediately give them the address and insist that they MUST go there. Every once in a while it works.
I also know that without the internets I would not have found the wonderful Ms. Sheep.

Knitting Linguist said...

Seriously, she didn't know The Knitter's Book of Yarn? That's like not knowing The Canturbury Tales, or something. Wrong. And while Ravelry is the ultimate time-suck, it would be a bummer for it not to be there. Hunh. Knitting non-digitally. New one. (P.S. I'm assuming you managed to avoid The Plague yourself?)

Julie said...

Nice piece of fiction you've written, Sheepie. People knitting without the interwebs - hahahaha. As if!

Kath said...

I routinely interact with folks, even those few who knit or crochet, who know nothing of the wealth of information available on the interwebs or the marvel that is Ravelry. I just keep my mouth shut and stay satisfied knowing that I can share this great stuff with you and my other bloggy friends!

Oh and my Cheap Trick song fave is "The Flame". Hold the ciggy lighter high and sway from side to side with me...

trek said...

Perhaps we could take up some sort of collection for her or something. It is obvious to me that the poor woman is deprived. I mean, if she's never heard of the Knitter's Book of Yarn nor Ravelry nor even of blogs, then she's also not heard of Webs, Knit Picks, nor the Yarn Harlot, right?

=Tamar said...

Shhh... I'm not on Ravelry. Reading blogs takes up enough time.
But gosh, fingerless gloves and tipless mittens are just like regular ones, only shorter. Any pattern will do! What that lady needs is to read Elizabeth Zimmermann and Mary Thomas. Then she won't need patterns unless she wants a specific design.

Karen said...

Should be have a telethon? There are people who knit without the internet, without blogs, without Ravelry?? Think of all the yarn they've never heard of... I feel a little dizzy...

Lorraine said...

Wow! I'm speechless re: the internet-less knitter.

What's more, how on earth did the plague make it from my hometown in Minnesota to Maine in 2 days?

Alwen said...

There's only a quarter of a million of us, after all . . .

Cursing Mama said...

Knitting without the help of the internet.... Learning to knit is what helped me FIND the internet.

debsnm said...

I have a sister - she has an email address, and I've even heard her speak of the interwebs. But, to my absolute horror, she didn't know you could use them to find patterns, or about Ravelry, or any of that knitting stuff. I was shocked, shocked I tell you!!!!

Jeanne said...

Understanding and use of:
ravelry--check
Knitter's Book of Yarn--check
PDF--check
Google--check
Blog--check

Things I've done:
write code in order to center a picture--check
participated in a knit-along--check
been to Rhinebeck--not yet, but I know I haven't yet been!

Whew! I'm in the clear! But what I found funny is how over-used the net can be. Last night, my friend wondered if there was a certain discount store in his area of another state. He got online as we talked. He googled it, perused several pages, but couldn't find the answer.

I suggested he try yellowpages dot com or just open the phone book. He laughed. The thought hadn't even occurred to him.

Angie said...

Most in my knitgroup don't ravelry, they have never made or read an EZ book. Some of them even knit with R*d H*art! It hurts me, but I love them anyway.

Beth said...

I observed something similar the other day. I was at the LYS and another customer came in to ask for the B4 Bag pattern. I knew just what she was talking about, but the employee had no clue at all. It seems like it would be beneficial for yarn stores to be familiar with online patterns. "Oh, you have to buy that online, but here's how much yarn you'll need. Let me show you where it's at..."