Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Just Leave The Bottle

I have decided to have one of those good ol' fashioned Whine And Cheese Parties.  The dairy portion of the festivities was taken care of at dinner time when I toasted up a couple slices of the cheesy bread I made over the weekend.  That was nice.  And now all that's left is to pour out some liberal servings of Whine.  

The First Vintage Of The Evening:  GSOM

The General Sense Of Malaise continues, although now there is a noticeable increase in the aching of the joints.  I'm stuffy, sore and grumpy.  And I still can't convince a single soul at school to send me home.  I put on my best show, periodically holding my head, shivering a bit and softly groaning.  Nuthin'.  Not a single soul stepped up to say that I should really be at home in bed.  

Finally, having exhausted my Award Winning Repertoire Of Sickly Behaviors, I resorted to simply saying, "I do not feel very well today."  I said this loudly and repeatedly.  Again, there was little in the way of response.  Unless, of course, you count nine million phone calls, meetings and demands for my attention as responses.  If you do, then I suppose you could say that I was responded to all over the stupid place.

But this was not what I wanted.  I wanted sympathy and I wanted it NOW, by God!  What else was there for me to do but simply state my needs?  "Excuse me, but I have been shivering and groaning until my throat has become parched and not a one of you has suggested that I go home.  What does a girl have to do to get some of that sweet, sweet sympathy around here??"

The teaching staff ignored me for the most part.  No one really enjoys the day when I am not there.  Not because I am so delightful, but because my students are less so.  Everyone suddenly becomes very busy when I am not in school to ride herd on the little darlings.  

For the record, the kids were quite enthusiastic about my leaving for the day.  That was nice.  Except that I don't really trust their motives...

The Second Vintage Of The Evening:  More With The Frozen, Falling Flakes Of Doom

I've mentioned before my thoughts regarding low pressure systems and the effects they have on children.  I may have also mentioned my general distaste for weather, particularly the kind that gets in my way or makes me have to go out and move my car.  You can only imagine my joy to see this little gem of a forecast:

No.  We are all set with snow for the moment.  This will not be necessary.

It is very bad form to predict a snow day, especially when the storm is expected to start after 7:00 in the morning and could allow us all to get to school safe and sound.  However I think that, given the amounts we are looking at, it is fair to say that at least part of tomorrow will be spent at home.  

I like the "home" part.  It's just the extra foot of snow to which I am objecting.  That seems a bit extreme.  We already have snow, lots of it.  Adding another foot is just mean-spirited.

The Third Vintage Of The Evening:  Auto-Dial

When you are feeling a General Sense Of Malaise, have spent your day dealing with students who are fighting off the effects of a low pressure system and are dreading the thought of having to drive to and from school the next day in a blizzard, getting a call from the school at dinner time can really lift your spirits.  Why, they may be canceling early just to get ahead of the crowd!  How very thoughtful of them!  Now I don't need to worry about dragging my Malaise out of bed tomorrow so I can drive in a blizzard to face the "spirited" students who actually want me to stay home so they can plan their coup.  I'll just lie abed like a proper Sickly Person and not have to set the alarm at all!  Oh, that school district!  Always thinking of me...

Auto-dial is a tricky thing.  You get calls for everything the school district is thinking about, not just cancellation notices.  Tonight I was treated to the mellifluous voice of my principal (seriously...he's had vocal training) while he shared with me the joys of Financial Aid Night!  Should I desire information on how best to fund my non-existent children's college experience, I should really plan to be there.  I listened to the whole message just in case there was a cancellation at the end of it.

There wasn't.

On the bright side (yes, there always is one if you look from the right angle) it really does seem unlikely that I will be teaching for a full day tomorrow, if at all.  My Malaise and I can sit at home where we have been trying to get people to send us for two days now.  If that is the case, it seems very, very likely that I will finish a sock.  I honestly don't see any way around it unless I don't knit at all and who doesn't knit at all?  In the worst case scenario, I'll get it almost finished...but there is no way that I won't be somewhere in the vicinity of the finish line tomorrow.  And then I'll have a pair of Happy Pink Socks!  Happy Pink Socks are just the thing for a girl dragging around a big ol' hunk of Malaise, right?

Maybe I'll even be wearing them when the rescue dogs come to dig me and my Malaise out of the snowbank we will no doubt be trapped in when we try to move the car...



Melissa said...

I called that weatherman brother of mine tonight to complain about said snowflakes and to plead that surely he must have some pull with the weather gods and goddesses to avert such a thing.

The brother is smarter than I thought. He had is phone shut off...I fear the worst!!

Yarnhog said...

Perhaps the low pressure system is offering the sympathy you so richly deserve. It is, after all, the only one making an effort to keep you home.

trek said...

How does HM feel about the GSOM thing?

Anonymous said...

Tomorrow seems like an ideal day for you to call in sick. You gave them fair warning today, and why should you subject yourself to the deleterious effects of snow and blizzard and cold first thing in the a.m. just to have to go home again in a few hours? You would only be making them endure your particular group of students for part of a day in exchange for you getting A WHOLE DAY OFF!

Kath said...

kmkat is quite right and besides, since they weren't offering any sympathy today perhaps if you were to call in sick that might change matters? They do seem to appreciate you so after you've been absent for at least a day. I've noticed that!

Mel said...

I had to spend a long day on airplanes and in airports with a scratchy throat and post-nasal drip, if it makes you feel any better. I'm also planning on going into work extra super early to beat the bulk of the snow. You know, seeing as I don't get half days and all.

If you only have to go to work for a half day, it still counts, right? You don't have to make it up in June? That could be a good thing.

Mia said...

You've got cheesy bread? And you want whine too?? We're supposed to be getting about 10 inches of "flames of doom" too... it's just started.

oh happy freezing cold hate to have to go to work day. For me anyway. It's awfully hard to call in sick when you work for a doctor. he always asks how i am the day i come back (hanging head in what should be guilt) and um, maybe you could give a girl a clue on how to make her bread rise? ::laughing::

Anonymous said...

I'm watching the news this morning and seeing everyone cancel ahead of the storm, but do I see my place of employment on that list - NO! I do not like this one little bit.

Anne said...

At least if you DO have to go in to school and the snow starts, you won't have to go out in it to move your car so they can plow, right? Silver lining?

Maybe? Anyone? Bueller?

Donna Lee said...

I started the car way early today to let some of the ice soften so I could scrape it off. Not much snow but now it's raining and freezing and really yucky.

Mizzle said...

Poor you!

Want a cough-drop? They're sugarfree and tasty too! :D

word verification: ponsitum. Maybe that's the disease you're suffering from today?

Cursing Mama said...

I'm really hoping that school is closed early enough...I won't even go into the issues with school not getting closed early enough. Nope - won't mention it at all - it is akin to predicting a snow day and we all know that these kinds of things are tricky.

Knitting Linguist said...

Oh, I really hope that you're sitting at home right now because that lovely call came in *before* the digging out of the car happened. Pink socks can cure almost any Malaise. I hope you feel better soon!

crzjane said...

The good side of all that snow (and there is only one good side) is that you got to stay in bed for most of the day. Except when you had to shovel out and move your car.
Hope your Happy Pink Socks get rid of that Nasty Malaise.
Feel better soon!

debsnm said...

You know what the problem is, don't you? Different school!! These people are obviously not as adept at picking up your oh-so-subtle signals as the last school folks were. Another black mark on them!

Jeanne said...

My sympathies on your case of Malaise. Perhaps this LOLCat will help:

Zombie Kittehs

We are buried under a fresh ten inches of white stuff here in Ohio.