Saturday, January 03, 2009

Not An Evil Resident...Just Troublesome.

I awoke this chilly morning and stumbled out of bed to find the living room curtains most decidedly askew.  I, of course, assumed that I had simply not managed to wake up enough to see things in a level manner and rubbed my eyes accordingly.  This is what one does in these situations.

This did not help my perception one little bit.  There was still something of an issue with my living room draperies.  Upon further inspection, I discovered that the fabric was most certainly not as I'd left it the previous evening.  In fact, neither was the curtain rod.  It was sharply bent in the middle and barely supporting the insulated shades I'd purchased to keep out the winter drafts.  

There was a saboteur amongst us!  And one with not only the means to hang from draped fabric, but with the girth to make it inadvisable!  

The suspect was quickly identified and interrogated most vigorously.  He bore up pretty well under this process.




One cannot help but wonder if he has had some sort of Special Ops training or something.  He was cool under pressure.  The resident interrogation team (me) could not break him.


In spite of admitting nothing, the Absurdly Gi-normous Kitty did have a bit of a hang-dog look for much of the morning.  In a cat, that is something of a feat, really.  This did nothing to help with the curtain situation whatsoever, nor did it make up for the fact that I spent twenty minutes balancing precariously in the rocking recliner trying to get them back up in a configuration something sort of resembling what they'd looked like back when life was good and the curtain rods were unsullied.

I suppose this is why I felt little to no guilt over spending the afternoon watching a movie.  I realized yesterday that I've had a rather lengthy holiday vacation from school, but that I'd not watched a single Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Training Film.  That is simply unacceptable!  
Of course, we all know that Sheepie likes her zombie flicks.  They give me joy and a feeling of control in a world that could, at any moment, be overrun with the shambling dead.  Even more than this happiness, though, is the wild rush that comes from purchasing one of these gems on the cheap.  This is why it was so out of character for me to pony up the dollars to purchase a relatively new one at full price while I was out yesterday.  I sort of felt like I'd done something wrong when Resident Evil: Degeneration found its way into my cart...

And yet, the universe somehow found a way to even things out.  Curtains: trashed by an unrepentant kitty.  New And Shrink Wrapped DVD:  perfectly justified.

This CGI version of Resident Evil is based firmly in the video game series of the same name and bears only a token resemblance to the live action RE movies.  I wasn't a huge fan of the game back in the days when I was more invested in those sorts of things.  I liked them for the genre, but found that I preferred games that gave me a little more time to investigate my surroundings a bit before sending in someone to chew my legs off.  A girl needs to get her bearings, after all.  Maybe even have a chance to locate a weapon or something...

R.E.D. stays quite true to the games, though.  It's really less about survival skills than it is about tracking down the evil government/corporate conspiracy behind this horrific turn of plague-type events.  Computer generated imagery is often unkind to viewers when it comes to facial features matching dialogue and this was no exception.  But it was really quite well done and the plot wasn't sacrificed to the special effects.  Good movie, very good, indeed!

I sure do wish it'd had more zombies, though.  ::sigh::

I consoled myself with some knitting while I watched.  That always helps to make sense of a world gone mad with evil viruses, a marked lack of zombies and curtains that keep sliding off the totally-not-level-now rod.



When in doubt, flap a sock.  You'll feel better.

Of course, it probably would have been better had I not forgotten to slip the stitches on the purl side of the flap.  Comfort knitting probably shouldn't involve tinking back.  But, all in all, it was a pleasant way to spend an afternoon and I regret nothing.

We can only hope that the suspected ringleader of the Drapery Terrorist Cell is not quite so blase and self-satisfied.  Until I can replace that bent rod, the curtains are in a tenuous situation, at best.  We are in sort of an Elevated Alert Situation around here.

Some days I think it would be easier to just battle the zombies...

SA

12 comments:

Teri S. said...

That's bad news that the AGK has taken to attacking the draperies, given that he is an AGK. Emma is not an AGK (weighing in at a mere 9.5 pounds) and she has done enough damage when she decides that there is nothing that expresses the joy of being a cat more than climbing the dining room drapes. Fortunately, that's not something that Bosco has taken up. However, he does like attacking his big sister at 3:30 a.m. and continuing random attacks until I stumble out of bed at 5:00 to feed them, after which we all go back to bed.

I'm afraid I'm not a big zombie movie fan, although I did see a small part of one where living people were trying to blend in with the horde of zombies that seemed to be taking over. It was somewhat intriguing, but given that they were quickly discovered, that movie would be better as a "what not to" lesson.

Enjoy what's left of your vacation!

Kath said...

Thanks to Destruct-O-Kitty, half my windows no longer have curtains! (The ones no one can see in anyway.) Someday, when she mellows out, I'll try putting 'em back up again.

It looks to me like AGK is completely exhausted. Now whether that is from your obviously intensive interrogation of the prime suspect, or from spending the wee hours doing pullups on the curtain rod, is another mattter.

Beth said...

He actually bent the curtain rod?! Wow!

=Tamar said...

I once read of a small town that had a water supply pipe that went over a small ravine. The kids would swing on the pipe and break it. Finally someone realized the solution was to make the pipe strong enough for the kids to swing on it without it breaking. The moral: get stronger curtain rods.

Mia said...

::laughing:: somehow i can't quite make myself belief that sock knitting on those tiny little needles is comfort knitting... just sayin.

Karen said...

The sock is beautiful!! When the yarn is that lovely the kinking and reknitting really isn't a complete punishment.
Don't you kind of wonder why AGK felt the need to scale the curtains?

Bridget said...

Is it possible that the AGK was in training for climbing Kilamanjaro or something? You know, a New Year's resolution that he failed to mention to you?

trek said...

Great - you welcome a poor defenseless kitty into your house only to discover six months later that he is the ring leader of a covert operation of terrorism.

Aren't you glad school starts up again tomorrow? That is, if there is not zombie invasion...

April said...

For a moment there, I thought the sock picture was a picture of your curtains.

I need a bit more caffeine, I think.

The Kelly Green Rogue said...

I don't know I think AGK looks innocent, did you interrogate the other residents? what if you taken up sleep walking? ;-)

Jeanne said...

In my house, my doors no longer have jambs. They have become claw-sharpeners. This spurs my motivation to move to the southwest and live amongst the adobe and tile.

Bent the curtain rod. My goodness.

Mouse said...

Love the sock - the color is just retina searing enough that one might locate it in the fog of OMGWTF:30 when school time approaches. I really like the Resident Evil movies but I've only seen the live action versions.. will have to check out the others.