Monday, December 22, 2008

The Facts As I See Them

There are two facts of which I'd like to make certain you are aware.  The first is this:

Between Friday night and Monday morning in excess of 20 inches of snow fell on my corner of the world.  For those of you who enjoy the convenience of the metric system of measurement, I'd be happy to do the conversion for you.  

Let's see...carry the 1...round up a bit...erase that part where you drew an angry-faced-snowflake...there!  I got it!  The correct answer is:  A WHOLE LOT!!!!

Oh, all right.  It's something like over 50 cm.  Which I think you will agree is, in fact, A WHOLE LOT!!!!!

The second fact I'd like to share is:

Delayed starts to the school day are a necessary thing.  If we cancelled school every time the morning drive was a bit dicey, we'd never get to the summer vacation part of the year that keeps us all happy and willing to remain bound by our contracts.  That said, they are also a bit of a nuisance.  

I spend a great deal of time following the announcement of a 2 hour delay trying to decipher the hidden message.  Are they telling me to stay home for two hours so that they can clear the roads for me?  Are they suggesting that I leave right now because it is going to take me two hours to get there?  What do they want from me????? is all about me.  At this point in our relationship, you still need to ask?  

These two facts, once combined, made for a charming start to the school day.  We will not even discuss the proximity of vacation and Christmas.  Those things simply added to the overall theme.  They lent a nice little extra touch of special-ness for those of us who somehow have to find a way to keep children engaged in the learning process before they leave us for their respective vacations.

I finally deciphered the delayed start code and decided that "they" were trying to tell me to split the difference.  I didn't race right out the door, but neither did I tarry.  I left an hour for road clearing, half an hour for coffee drinking and another half hour for finding my vehicle under all that snow.  

I'm glad that I cleared the car at least once yesterday.  Had I not done so, I fear that mine would have looked like my next door neighbor's.  His was just a big, white pile and not even recognizable as a motor vehicle.  All that snow and wind had simply buried it.  

As I slogged around my own car and up to my knees in the the white stuff, I was really in need of something to consider "good."  I was soaked to the skin by the time I'd managed to get most of the snow scraped away and seriously wishing I hadn't misplaced my second Maine Morning Mitt.  It also happened to be very, very, very cold.  Very.  Cold.

Just as I was about to forget all about my neighbor's car-masquerading-as-a-snowbank and consider myself the most woebegone individual on the planet, my other neighbor came out thinking that she might like to go to work.  She got stuck.  Couldn't even make it out of her own parking space.  I offered to help since my all-wheel-drive tank plowed through the snow without a problem.  But she said she was fine and that help was on the way.  

I think she was jealous of all my luck and feeling like we needed some space right about then.  I understood.  I felt the same way about all those people I saw driving on the Maine Turnpike who didn't have snow on their cars and who obviously have garages in which to put their vehicles....

I made it to work fairly easily, for all that.  There was a bit of a skid coming off the highway, but that was it.  The remainder of the shortened school day was spent sitting on the heater. (no mean feat, BTW, since it's angled and you have to brace your feet wicked hard!)  From there I could simply demand that the students bring me their work for assessment and approval since I wasn't planning on moving.  Did I happen to mention that it was very, very cold today?  Very.  Cold.

In closing, I'd like to leave you with a couple of predictions.  I firmly believe that they will soon be facts, but I hate to get overly confident about these things.  

Prediction The First:  Winter and I are not getting along very well.  I do believe that if I see one more flake fall from the sky I will go utterly, stark-raving mad and begin racing through the streets to the nearest courthouse in order that I might begin divorce proceedings from Winter.

Prediction The Second:  Once this whole holiday knitting for others business is over, I will be starting a pair of mittens for myself.  Divorce can take a while.  It will probably be Spring before I can get Winter to pack up his stuff and move out.  

I might need some mittens...



Knitting Linguist said...

Mittens sound like the solution to your current relationship difficulties with Winter. That's a whole heckuva lotta snow!

trek said...

Sheesh, all that snow and you didn't spare me any?!

I second KL: mittens are definitely in your immediate future. Then again, even without snow, it's been plenty cold here and I should also consider knitting the warm hand protectors...

Kath said...

"a bit of a skid coming off the highway" she says! Slid that one right past the ole Hysterical Mind, didn't you? Very clever.

mehitabel said...

When you divorce Winter, would you tell him there's a Ms. Lonelyhearts over here in LaLaLand who would love to meet him? Out here winter consists of OMGTheSkyIsFalling predictions of 3/4 of an INCH of rain. RAIN!! OMGTSIF!!
Then again, you've reminded me of having to put a match under my car key to get the thing unlocked so I could go in and play with the choke and maybe it would start...and could warm up while I scraped ice and snow. Good times!

Anonymous said...

Mittens sound like an excellent remedy. Do you wear fingerless gloves in your cold, cold classroom?

Mia said...

mmm hmmm.. a whole LOT of snow. I totally feel your pain. Friday night I had to shovel all that snow off my car with an umbrella. And NO mittens.

We shouldn't even talk to your commentor Mehitabel talking about that little inch or so. sheesh!

too funny, my word verificatio is pregr. No. Thank you very much :)

Anonymous said...

More after midnight tonight - YAY; I'm so happy (NOT!).

I waited and waited and waited for you to pick me up on your way to Florida, but you never showed up!

Here's a thought to make you smile - CWS next week :-)

Donna Lee said...

I'd take some of that white stuff off your hands (or your car) now. We are in for more rain. This has been the wettest fall/winter I can remember. And it's cold. Really, really cold. In between rainfalls during which the temp goes all the way up to 45 degrees. And then drops back to cold. My store bought mittens are woefully inadequate. I need to work on the thrummed mittens now that the holiday stuff is done.

Cursing Mama said...

I do believe that they have named those famous mitts - The Maine Morning Mittens - very appropriately.

knitseashore said...

We have eight inches and it is brutally, brutally cold and windy. I do think we should be allowed to stay home and indoors until spring.

Carie K said...

I think mittens for you are definitely in order. I'm fairly certain you're not going to dislodge winter easily.

Your neighbor's car was buried in SNOW and you didn't even get a Snow Day? That's just wrong.

Jeanne said...

I hate winter. I've been trying to divorce it for years but the dang fool just won't leave me alone!

Today I broke down and bought some of those shoe grip thingies at the hardware store so I can stop walking like an old lady across the ice and instead walk like a constipated duck inside the stores. Winter. Who needs it? Mittens. The only solution.

(Merry Christmas, BTW!)