Monday, March 05, 2007

How Many Years 'Til Retirement?

Things I had to say today:

"You have to fill the whole bubble!"

"Stop making bubble smiley faces!!!"

"You spelled your name wrong."

"You are cannot have been born in 2004."

"That's a pen!!! You can't have a pen!!! Who's job was it to check for pens??? We got a pen over here!!! Get the pen!!!!!!! Get it !!!!! Number two pencils only!!!"

"I agree with you. This is stupid. But the president says you have to, so just do it."

"No, you can't have coffee. You are awake enough. It will stunt your growth, make your teeth brown and you will spill it then have to do all the bubbles again. Plus, I'll get in trouble. And I don't want to share the coffee. I need it more than you do"

I love administering the Maine Educational Assessment. I love it almost as much as the kids love taking it. (I am rolling my eyes to the point of actual eyeball pain right now...) Just giving the directions takes nothing short of Herculean efforts in the areas of patience and willingness to repeat one's self. The actual test is endless and not really geared towards the students with whom I work. If the comments of the day are to be believed then your faithful Sheep is nothing short of a serial student torturer who is mean and doesn't fully appreciate the trials of being a student in today's world. OK...this is all probably true. But that has nothing to do with the test, really. The government says I have to do that. The meanness and lack of appreciation I throw their way gratis.

It was a long day and I've a week more of this fun-filled activity to which I can look forward. And then I get to do it all again next week with the 6th graders. Because the future of this great nation depends upon whether the average student can find the corresponding bubbles that match the letters in their names.

Don't mind me. I'm just tired. Assessment is a part of the job. But there is a lot of it this month and if I'm this sick of it after day one, then I don't think I am going to hold up well for the remaining tests. I'm wondering how the state retirement system would react if I counted each test day as a year of teaching time. It feels like it...and I could be living the life of a sexy senior by the end of the month!

I could also work on some of the projects that I've got going on around here, fiber-wise. Having finished up the mystery fiber with great success, I popped some very yummy merino/silk blend on the wheel with little thought to when I might actually get to it. I've got a sock in the home stretch but no mate for it in the foreseeable future. Plus, I may or may not have been so foolish as to try casting on for yet another attempt at a sweater in order that I might break the Blog Sweater Curse before I shuffle off this mortal coil. There are not enough hours in the day...

I'll hang in there. A good night's sleep will do wonders for me, I'm sure. I will, once again, see the enormous benefits of standardized testing and the earning of a regular paycheck. Let's face it: the job does pay for the hobbies, after all.

But, those kids who can't quite seem to color in the right bubble to correctly spell their names are responsible for running the world as I descend into infirmity. No anxiety there at all...



yarnophiliac said...

Assesment tests suck. I used to have to administer the MCAS -- Massachusetts' version. It is half the reason I no longer teach. (Delurking to let you know someone is with ya!)

trek said...

Nope, no worries there.

--Deb said...

Scarily, I used to enjoy taking these kinds of things when I was still in school . . . but I remember rolling MY eyes at all the stupid (oops, not a pc-term--educationally-challenged) kids that the teacher needed to explain thing to multiple times. Sigh.

Mouse said...

I'm sure that the reason that assessment tests suck is that they have the word "ass" right at the beginning. Should be a clue!
We're with you Sheepie.. keep your chin up!

Beth said...

Standardized testing. Oh, yucky. My heart goes out to you, SA. And around here, we talk quite frequently about the people running/preparing to run the world. :)

mehitabel said...

What they said. I taught back in the pre-assessment-test days. Of course that was also the days of 45 kids per class, earthquake drop drills, and playground riots. I no longer teach anything except adults who want to learn to quilt, and they don't need no stinkin' tests, the results are right there in front of them!

Jeanne said...

Down with Standardized Tests! Look. I already took and passed the ACTs and they allowed me into college. Why, then, in order to get into graduate school, do I have to waste my time studying for the GRE, which is just the ACT regurgitated and given a different name? Do they think I've somehow lost brain cells between graduating from high school and college? ...Oh. Well, they may have a point there. Forgot about the keggers.

Anonymous said...

Standardized testing. YUCK!
Knit another sweater.

Geraldine said...

Knitting another sweater is ALWAYS a good plan. Speaking of knitting, I am FINALLY working on a real pair of socks, ie: with 4, I thought I was a fairly good knitter all these years, Im having a heck of a time getting use to keeping all these needles afloat, without losing stitches along the way. How do you do it SHEEP!!! And all you other proficient sock knitters out there.
Glad I stopped in, still swamped here and missing blogland a lot. Email when you can Sheep...