Thursday, March 22, 2007

Conversations I Had Today:

With my truck at 6:15 a.m.

Sheepish Annie: You are stupid and lazy!!! And you are also a gi-normous baby!!! I hate you!!!! Just run like you are supposed to!!! What is your problem? If I have to go to work, then you have to go to work!!! Have I mentioned how much I hate, hate, hate you??!!!!!

Truck: cough...hack...shudder... (translation: I am passive aggressive and will continue with my behavior until my needs are met. You will not win this battle, o sheepish one.)

With myself at 7:15 a.m.

SA: Hmmm...this parking lot sure is empty. I guess everyone is tired from all those parent/teacher conferences and is coming in late. Tee-hee! I'll be first in line at the photocopier!!!

With the school custodian at 7:17 a.m.

School Custodian: I have a surprise for you!!!

SA: Oh, goodie! You were able to find some blinds for the windows in my classroom and now my staff and I will no longer risk seared retinas each day at eleven o'clock!

SC: Nope. The roads are really bad further inland and there is a two hour delay today. You came in for nothing!

SA: .....???? ....!!!!! (insert bad words here)

With the school principal at 9:30 a.m.

Principal: It was announced on the radio and the television. It's a handy way to stay updated on these things.

SA: But I leave at, like, the dawn's early light!!! I don't have time to stop and check the school delays on bright, sunny days!

P: I leave at 6:00.

SA: But, I'm a girl!!!! I take longer in the morning!!! What do you think...this all just happens????

The next twenty minutes of this conversation consisted of the principal chastising The Sheep for driving while her engine light is on and questioning her sanity. He advised her in no uncertain terms to secure the next available appointment for repairs. He did not comment on the length of time it takes a girl to get ready in the morning.

On the phone with the dreamy mechanic from the car-fixy place at 11:00 a.m.

SA: ...and then I gave it dry gas and yelled at it. I've done everything I know how to do here.

Dreamy Mechanic: (laughs uproariously)

SA: You can shoot it if you want.

DM: (still laughing)

On the ride to the garage at 1:30 p.m.

SA: OK, you big baby. You are getting your way. We are going to the garage where you will probably cost me a ga-billion dollars. I hope you are happy, you stupid vehicle.

Truck: cough...hack...wheeze...shudder... (translation: I am a fragile flower who demands that my needs be met.)

At the garage at 2:00 p.m. after the dreamy mechanic has somehow managed to jam the printer, disassemble it, reassemble it and finally require the assistance of another, less dreamy, mechanic to figure out how to turn it back on

SA: are better at fixing cars, right?

DM: (grinning) No. Why do you ask?

SA: (giggles girlishly...and is promptly ashamed of herself)

In the waiting room at the garage whilst staring at the dreamy mechanic with the soulful eyes and the gentle voice who makes a Sheep wish she'd worn a nicer sweater...and that she was twenty years younger

DM: It's been running a little rough for you, huh?

SA: (with trembling lip and in a little girl voice that she cannot seem to bring back up to the adult range) Uh-huh.

DM: Well, blah, blah, blah, blah, cylinders misfiring, blah, blah, spark plugs, blah, labor, blah, blah, gaskets, blah, blah, blah, blah, coil packs, blah, blah, $500.00, blah, blah....

SA: (who has been lost in the soulful eyes of the dreamy mechanic and the gentle tones of his soothing voice and wondering why he didn't go into medicine, so sweet is his bedside manner) Mmm-hmmm...I see....yes....wait? What??? Could you repeat that number you just said?

While I was walking home alone from the garage at 2:30 p.m.

SA: Well, it wasn't a total loss. At least I had my knitting in my bag from last night's class...

To recap: I went to school in my broken truck two hours earlier than I needed to, left early to get the truck fixed at the insistence of my principal, almost compromised the virtue of a hapless, young mechanic, had to leave the truck at the garage to be fixed and am currently stranded at home with little hope for making it to school on time tomorrow unless I start walking now. But I had my sock with me so it was OK.

And all that fun is only going to cost me $500.00 or so dollars...



Anonymous said...

Ouch! Maybe you can knit a pair of socks for the hunky mechanic and charge him say $500?

trek said...

Ah, now I see what that truck was up to this time.

At least you had your sock.

Did I mention that I almost forgot to bring my sock today? That would have been the ultimate disaster.

Beth said...

What a day! I'll bet you were drained by the end of it.

Mouse said...

Doh! At least the truck decided to act up AT the mechanics shop instead of before you got there and after you left.. behaving like a complete gem while dreamy mechanic was looking at it and making you seem like a neurotic disaster.

Anonymous said...

I think you need to tell your truck that now it is either smooth running or you'll pull the shiny new spark plugs. Put a little fear into it.
Punkin in Oregon

Mel said...

That reminds me. I need to take my car to MY hunky mechanic and get him to change the oil.

Anne said...

Sigh. I have no dreamy mechanic. Never have. Sorry the truck is being bad. BAD truck, BAD BAD Truck. Tell it I said so.

Jeanne said...


Auto repairs suck. At least yours is dreamy. Mine is... old. But, they've looked at the Mothership three times out of five now without charging me a thing. Damn "low tire" light keeps going on when there's no low tire. He showed me how to turn it off today. (I guess he's tired of seeing me!)

Tell your truck if it doesn't shape up, it's ALPO time.

knitseashore said...

Do you think a handknit would sway Hunky Mechanic into a discount? Hat? Socks? Wristwarmers in a dark color to keep the hands warm, and not show the oil stains, while working on Bad Truck? Perhaps a Wrench Cozy? Felted Tool Bag?

B. said...

Sorry to hear about your truck! But somehow dreamy mechanics always make things seem better. Don't you find the dreamy ones aren't really the brightest bulb in the bunch? Oh, don't get me wrong...they're pretty! But after they speak, I find myself wanting to say, "Shhh, shhh...just let mama look at you. Let's not ruin this moment with you talking!"

I don't know...maybe it's just me...

Cathy said...

Wrench Cozy?


I do love your commenters.
Even when I misread that as Wench Cozy which fits with your DM.

debsnm said...

When you get the truck back, drive it to the nearest car dealer. Stop. Get out and look at all the shiney new trucks. Look importantly at old truck. THAT will make it run right - or at least scare it into submission!

lobstah said...

Only you could make so much crapiness sound funny!

CursingMama said...

I don't know how things work in your neck of the woods - but shouldn't you have sheepishly asked that mcdreamy mechanic to pick you up in the am for a ride to the shop to retrieve the troublemaker?
You should get something worthwhile for your $500!

Bobbi said...

oooh! I hate it when something like that happens, the early to school thing not the truck thing, the truck thing sucks but on a completely different level.

Hmmmm, when my lawn mower isn't working I usually trying kicking it and swearing at it. This never works but trucks might react differently

Sheila said...

Not a fun day for the Sheep, but at least there was eye candy!
I pulled into the gym parking lot for littlest one's gymnastics class on Tuesday, and was thrilled to finally get the best spot in the parking lot. After entering the biulding, I learned that we were an hour early. I really must change those clocks when daylight savings time first happens!

Mia said...

drink up sheepie.. and maybe add a splash of somethin' with a little kick ::laughing:: not laughing at you, laughing with ya.. *grin*

And with the price of gas quickly approaching 3 bucks a gallon, I'm oh so SERIOUSLY thinkin' of buying me one of those little scooter motorcycle thingies.. picture that!

annie said...

Nightmare! Here's hoping this latest fix will do the trick for a long, long time.

Knittymama said...

Same happens to me. I hopefully check the news for closings/late start and there are none. I go in, and everyone else is at home!

So sorry about crabby truck!

Dudleyspinner's Tie Dye Rovings said...

I think you need a jar, everytime you swear at your truck for misbehaving you have to put a dollar in the jar, pretty soon you will have enough moola for a new truck or atleast for the next repair bill!