Healthy Eating Is Killing Me...

Well, as I mentioned in last nights "drive by" post, I think I may have hit on the problem. After noting a slight weight gain over the last few months, I decided to go back to the strategy that helped me in removing a significant number of pounds a few years ago. Way back then, saddled with a few burgeoning health problems that could all be traced back to my girth, I made the decision to try eating more of the healthy foods that were sadly lacking in my daily menu.

The deal was this: A hearty, but reasonable, breakfast; fruit during the day; a sensible dinner and snack when at home. I was strict about it. Annoyingly so. If I could do this, then the weekends were freebies: whatever I wanted as as much as I wanted. After losing a bit of the poundage, I found that I didn't want to eat myself into a coma so much during those weekend days of indulgence.

Now, you have to understand something: if I am not careful, I can easily go for days without consuming a single serving of fresh fruits or vegetables. Thus, the decision to take only these items to work was to help balance the diet out rather than to restrict it. Fruit has more of the natural sugars and is, logically, sweeter. It had more appeal than the veggies. I can't think of a single vegetable that I could just sit down and gorge myself on with wild abandon. I get the chills just thinking about the possibility of broccoli lurking in the fridge... Plus, I read somewhere that fruit was good for you.

Going back to this regiment for a short period to get the old healthy habits up and running again seemed like a good idea. And it probably is. But I've run into a little snag in the system.

I don't like fruit.

I do, however, like chocolate chip cookies.

I have very little in the way of an appetite during the day and often have to be reminded to eat.

If you aren't hungry, it is very easy to forgo the healthy lunch you have packed for yourself.

You can put a top hat on the family dog, but this isn't going to make him your prom date.

And there is no way on God's green earth that you can make an apple into a chocolate chip cookie.

I've taken to giving the fruit to the children in my class. They'll eat it. Kids today...what is the world coming to? Meanwhile, I am seeing pink bunny rabbits and flesh eating zombies crawling out from under my desk by two o'clock. The system is falling apart. I ran a calorie count through my insurance company's Healthy Rewards system site and somehow have managed to only consume 800 calories today even after I'd had dinner.

We're retooling the plan and will come up with something that vaguely resembles living like real people. It appears that watching others consume fruit is not as healthy as eating it myself. I'm going to have to suck it up and actually eat the stupid things. Unless, that is, someone out there knows of some study that supports the vicarious consumption of vitamins. Anyone? Anyone????
In happier news, the word from my boss is that she is pleased with my article on making homework a less painful process and transported the whole program up to the main office this very afternoon. I have my choice of medium for the statue that is to be made of me: bronze or marble. I'm leaning towards the marble. Bronze is nice, but turns that funny color after a while. I'll let you know the final decision. I'd better make it fast as most of the things we've sent up there for review have come back with "suggestions." These pretty much involve hours of work. And I can't pull this off in my current fruit-daze. This will require trans fats...

Hopes for a finished scarf by mid-week were pretty much dashed when Wednesday night needed to be spent working. But I still see it as a potential gift for the holidays. It is better than half done and I see no reason that it can't be finished in time for some lucky recipient. Well...actually there are scads of reasons why this might not happen: lack of motivation, global warming; plague of locusts... But we're thinking positively on the matter.

Tonight I will pack up yet another healthy lunch for tomorrow's consumption. And I vow to eat it. Every ounce. (well...except for the peels. That is just going too far!) I will survive healthy eating whether I like it or not.

And I think we know my preferences and feelings in this matter...

SA