Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Enough!!!

Somebody please answer this: How is it that the very same students who state clearly and loudly that my very presence in their lives is intrusive and overwhelming, that I should leave them alone, that I exist only to make their school day a miserable and work-laden experience, are the exact same students who are standing outside the bathroom door all expectant-like and awaiting the emergence of the hated Ms. Sheep?

Apparently, the time it takes for me to enter the restroom, relieve the pressure that has been building in my middle aged bladder for nigh on three hours and wash my hands in order that the children not be exposed to grown up pee-pee germs is enough to cause severe separation anxiety in the average fifth and sixth grader. I find this to be somewhat "oppressive." It is enough to make a Sheep want to throw up her hands and shout in a voice tinged with shrill hysteria:

I am not your mother!!!

I didn't. I wanted to. But I didn't. I clenched my teeth, smiled benevolently (or maniacally depending on your perspective) and set about meeting their needs.

School vacation can't come fast enough.

I'm all about the kidlets. I'm a giver of knowledge. I nurture the young minds of this great land with all the devotion of a master gardener tending the sweet rosebuds. But, hand to God, I don't know how you Mommies and Daddies do it. When do you make numbers 1 and 2? Do you have to wait until they are asleep? Or until they go to college? No wonder you all look so "strained." Hats off to you, parents. I just couldn't do it...I'll stick to mothering my cats.

No knitting of import will be done this evening in my child-free home. I put in a few hours at job #2 after my teaching day and, despite the cancellation of the parenting education session, there was still a need to put more time into the accursed program I am currently developing for the agency. The draft we finished last week made it up to the board meeting but remains "on the table" as they didn't get much of a chance to look at it. The lower level higher ups (for lack of a better title) are very pleased, though. So it looks like the whole thing will be a "go." And, predictably, there is more work to do on this thing that has begun to consume my life in not such a good way. Word of warning: use care when showing competence. People start to "expect" stuff. Expectations give me the hives...

And interfere with my using the restroom in a timely and unconstrained fashion. The countdown to the holiday vacation has begun in earnest.

SA

13 comments:

trek said...

mies don't get to go to the bathroom unaccompanied for at least 4 years - and counting...

trek said...

Mommies

Julie said...

Don't your kitties follow you into the bathroom? I have one in particular who follows me in and gets up on the sink and reaches over purring and reaching her head for me. It's very distracting! The others like to run into the bathroom before I shut the door and then they start crying and scratching to get out while I'm "busy" - also very distracting!

Sheila said...

You mean you go to the potty alone? In there, all by yourself? ......................What a concept!

Lee Anne said...

I now understand why the people who had this house before us have a lock on the toilet area of the master bathroom but not the bathroom itself. It never made sense until now... :)

Beth said...

You're almost there! Keep going!

It is rather annoying not to have any "private time." My daughter talks to me through the door, my husband talks to me through the door, and my dog pushes her way into the bathroom if the door's not shut tightly.

Jeanne said...

Ditto with the cats. I had four of five in there at once. It's a small bathroom. I looked at the herd and said "Do I come in and stare at YOU when you are using the litterbox?" Funny. They all turned around and left.

C said...

Privacy? I did better with my kid then I ever have with the dogs and cats who stand outside the door beating on it to be let in.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been to the bathroom alone since 1986 when we got our first dog. Since then there's been a dog or kid banging or scratching on the door. After a while you start to not notice until you realize no one is outside the door and wonder what they are getting into!
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

The Purloined Letter said...

LOL! I used to go to the bathroom with my son strapped to me in a sling. That was for TWO YEARS.

And even to a 7yo, there seems to be no such thing as a closed door.

Not that my old-as-the-hills (but a year younger than I am) partner is any better....

Annie said...

Too funny...and too familiar! How many more days until school vacation? One? Two? My kids are done at 3:30 tomorrow. Not that I'm counting or anything...

:)

Knittymama said...

I always have at least one small person sitting on the bathroom floor with me...usually emptying the trash can out all over the place.

debsnm said...

There is something about bathrooms and phones - all creatures, be they cats, dogs, or kids - seem to have this innate knowledge. You're trapped, you can't go anywhere, and they ALL. MUST. BE. THERE. My bathroom used to be a kid- & pet-free zone, but none of them are buying it now. There's nothing quite like peeing with an audience of 1 kid, 3 cats and 3 dogs. It's like a freaking auditorium! It's a good thing I'm not shy!