Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Gone.

I worked tonight at job #2. I did it because I am having a "proceeeeeedure" on Friday (my usual office day), the Parents of Unique Learners Program binder is due to be delivered to the head office tomorrow and because I am just so easily manipulated that I picked up a new client for parenting education. Actually this last commitment is looking to be an easy one given that it is only for an hour per week and the parent is pretty open to the whole process. But it makes for a long day and that is probably why I ended up frolicking amongst the sock yarn when I came home.

It seemed perfectly logical at the time...

I pulled out all the sock yarns, new and old. There were so many colors, fibers and weights. I lined them up according to size. I rearranged them by color. I made interesting patterns out of the skeins and gave serious thought to seeing if I could lay down in their midst and roll around a bit...perhaps make a "yarn angel" or two. You know. The usual stuff knitters do when away from prying and judgemental eyes. Then it hit me.

I've lost it.

Not my sanity. Contrary to all indicators, I'm still clinging to a few precious threads of normal at this point. It's not much, but it's what I've got. No, I've lost something else: the desire to knit unto others.

All I want to do right now is crank out sock after sock. And I want them to be mine. Allllllll mine! I do not want to knit handwarmers for my stylist. I have no desire to complete the scarf I've been working on for one of my staff members. I do not want to start a scarf for the other staff member. I want to sit on my couch and knit socks that are for me and me alone. And I want them to all be the the same plain, old, boring sock that I keep knitting over and over. I want the colors and fibers to be the change-up in this equation. I want to lock the doors and knit socks for my very own self until they come to the door, break it down and haul me away for at that point we will all be able to safely say that the sanity is, in fact, lost.

Not only is this slightly unreasonable, it is really quite poorly timed. The whole holiday thing is looming and I really wanted to be a good knitter this year. I envisioned all my friends and family with my knitted gifts in hand, trembling at the beauty and thoughtfulness of my present unto them, unable to find the words to express their thanks. I wanted to stand quietly in the background as this was going on murmuring things like, "No, really...it was nothing. I'm a giver...it's just what I do."

I'm beginning to think that this might be something of a pipe dream at this point. I may need to let it go and hit the stores with a vengeance over the next few weeks to purchase gifts. OK...scratch the, "may." I need to do this. The whole Queen Sheep of the Knitted Gifts thing is doomed to failure. It is what it is, I suppose.

Maybe I can give people hand made coupons to come view the sock yarn. I could even do a show of some sort with juggling or making the sock yarn sit up and beg. That could be fun...

SA

11 comments:

Beth said...

Hey, wait a minute! You're not trying to have as many handknit socks as you do panties, are you? We need to keep an eye on you! :)

trek said...

I think that you could position the socks and the proto-socks (a.k.a. sock yarn) in artistic arrangements and decorative motifs about Chez Sheep and invite people to the grand opening of your exhibition. You could serve little hors d'oevres paired with some pleasant wines. Admission would be free but if the guests wanted to see the really nice proto-socks (a.k.a. STR) you might have to request a small fee.

Julie said...

2007. The Year of Me. Do yourself proud and knit nothing but socks.

FOR YOURSELF.

Julie said...

Just remember, it's less than 3 weeks away! Soon you can realize your dream. Personally, I can NOT wait to knit for me again!

Sheila said...

I have nothing helpful to say. I'm battling with the gift knitting ideal myself right now. Good Luck!

Dudleyspinner's Tie Dye Rovings said...

knitting for yourself is perfectly justafiable, and hand knit socks are the perfect project. I added a artshare meme to by blog today, leave a comment and send art to the first five that do, but they must do the meme on their blog, a pay it forward art idea.
Deb

Anonymous said...

It happened. This is the result of using really good sock yarn. Remember back when you could use the less expensive stuff and not know there was a difference. It was easy to knit for others then. Now you know the secret. Really good sock yarn is like chocolate. You want just one more and one more and one more. As far as I know there is no cure.
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Lorraine said...

Snow angel in sock yarn! Brilliant! Christmas card photo op? The captions buzzing around my brain . . .

Lauri said...

You don't even need to leave your desk to do the shopping - that's what amazon dot com is for ;)

debsnm said...

It's a stress reaction - really. Set aside some sock-knitting time, then go back to gift knitting. You can always put an IOU in a box with a nice ribbon on it. I've even put the yarn with an IOU in the box! :)

Bobbi said...

I hear you! As much fun as I have knitting gifts, I am soooo tired of scarves. I have yarn for a sweater just waiting for me, and I need to finishing fetching and and and... Plus I never feel like the ooohing and ahhhing from recipients is quite enough, I'll admit it! :)