Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Ah-Ha!!!

After a night of guilt (and guilt-induced Wheat Thins eating) over my whole "I'm tired of knitting Christmas gifts and I really only want to knit socks for myself" disclosure, I think I may have hit on a loophole. It's not much, but it's all I've got at this point. If I manage to word it just right and look highly pathetic in the telling, it might just hold water. Maybe...

Here's the thing: my little corner of the state has gone from a balmy sixty degrees to arctic chilliness in a matter of mere days. My classroom has become unbearable. I knew I was cold, but didn't have much of a frame of reference. Today, however, I was able to get out and about during the day and spend a little time in the art room. Upon returning to the classroom, I spent ten minutes or so accusing everyone who had been in the vicinity of having opened a window. My staff assured me that this was not the case; they had been present for my entire absence from the room and knew that all windows were closed and accounted for. Never one to trust blindly, I checked. They were closed and locked. The room is just a meat locker. I'd somehow managed to get used to it during the course of the day. I suspect that I may have permanent nerve damage at this point.

I'm cold...so very cold. I need socks lest I perish before the April school break. There are those who would miss me. The good people at my credit card company, for example. They have made it quite clear how much they look forward to my monthly contact. The nice checkout ladies at the grocery store might also miss my thrice weekly visits and the various dramas that ensue when I am in their establishment.

And I really only just discovered the joys of the handknit sock. I don't have that many stockpiled. Each night upon finishing the dreaded workout, I change into my flannel jammies and put on these babies:





Yet another sock brought to you courtesy of the Most Generous April Foundation, bringing sock yarn to desperate Sheep since July '06.
I wish I could tell you that I wash them in between each wearing. I do not. My feet are cold and there is simply not time for petty things like hygiene when frostbite is on the line. These will fast become a bio hazard. What will happen to the Big, Fluffy Kitty if noxious fumes are emanating from my foot warmers?
Like I said...I need socks. I really must knit socks. It is imperative that I knit socks. It is a matter of life and death...
What do you think? I know it doesn't look like much in print. You have to picture a sad little Sheepie, trembling from the chill and bleating pathetically while her hooves fall off from frostbite. You heard me: hooves. falling. off.
I'm spending this evening practicing my shivering. And whimpering.
SA

16 comments:

debsnm said...

It's proven that knitting very warm socks stops shivering - so knit away! Save the scarf knitting for impressing those at work.

Vicki in So. Cal. said...

Sounds like a resonable arguement to me. I mean, how can you knit Christmas gifts if you die of the cold first?

Bells said...

For the love of the knitting goddess, KNIT SOCKS!!!! NOW!!!!

trek said...

Pink vertical stripes with green horizontal stripes?! You are so cold your fashion sense went hypothermic and died ;o)

Lazuli said...

Sounds like someone needs another pair of socks! That way you can rotate them through the, what's it called? Oh yeah. The wash.

Sheila said...

As a nurse, I feel compelled to tell you that you MUST knit more socks for yourself. It is a matter of life or death!

Beth said...

Ooh, I hate being cold. Maybe you need to knit some really thick socks for school, but those may be hard to fit in your shoes. Unless you wear clogs - those would work.

C said...

And you can wash/dry some of the socks too. I do it with all of mine - makes them all fluffy and soft and warm. Oh. Well. Warm if you put them on immediately out of the dryer.

catsmum said...

oh, just stop looking pathetic and go knit some more socks :]
I agree with Vicki... frostbiten hooves or actually dead of the cold = no knitting for others anyway.

Brandie said...

I just love your posts =)
And yes, please knit your socks ... should soemthing happen that would prevent you from writing your lovely day's activities and thoughts, I would be one very sad person!
So knit those socks, but not for yourself, oh no, but for all your devoted readers!!

Anonymous said...

Go! Quick! Cast on socks NOW!! Your very life is depending on it!
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Julie said...

Knit the Socks! Knit the Socks! Must prevent hooves from freezing and falling off. Because after all, how would you get to work with no hooves? No work=No money=No yarn=No gifts anyway!

Mia said...

I'm laughing my ass off at ya Sheepie.. in the nicest sort of way of course. It's not even a question.. no need to even flip a coin.

Sit down and knit yummy socks for yourself... and enjoy it :-)

Shari in MN said...

KNIT SOME SOCKS ALREADY!! You deserve to do something for yourself. Or, rather, for me--cause I love your blog and can't deal with losing my Sheepie to hypothermic-induced early demise.

Annie said...

My god, if you don't start knitting socks for yourself asap, I'll send you a pair myself! And I can't promise that they've been washed either.
You've been warned...

;)

Maggie said...

I think it's perfectly hygienically acceptable to wear wool socks a couple of times before you wash them. I know I have been known to wear them until they are all stretched out cuz I love them so much!