Retro Text

It's been an odd couple of days at The Learning Factory. Yesterday, two students were out sick and I had to send the Cheerful Teaching Assistant home because no one should ever be out among living people in that condition. Seriously. There was no amount of makeup in the world that was going to conceal the degree to which she was ill. Short-staffed and with a small enough class that two kids out means a significant dent in the learning population, the schedule was highly altered.

Today, the Teaching Assistant From Last Year Who Is Becoming More Cheerful was out sick. One of the sick kids from yesterday was out again and new one followed suit, leaving me in the same situation as yesterday. The schedule and class coverage was adjusted yet again. Plus I had to leave early for a meeting which always turns the day on its head. The fact that no one was there to meet with me when I got to the designated meeting location made things even weirder.

You start anticipating the weird after a while. It takes very little to give you pause. Today, for example, I couldn't help but notice that The Charming Boy Who Gets Away With Way More Than He Should was passing notes to The Boy Who Needs A Nicotine Patch By Noon. It wasn't like they were doing much to hide this fact so noticing it wasn't fancy detective work on my part. As the teacher in this situation, I felt it my duty to deal with this blatant display of non-compliance. It is, after all, a time honored tradition.

Ms. Sheep: Excuse me! Just what do you think you are doing?

(note: this is a stupid question since the deed and intent are obvious, but this is just how we are taught to do it in teacher-school)

Charming Boy Who Gets Away With Way More Than He Should: (still happily jotting notes and sliding them across the table to his peer) We're texting!!!

MS: (losing any kind of grip on her stern expression) Oh. My. God...

CBWGAWWMTHS: You know what, Ms. Sheep? I think we've invented a new way to text!!!! Pretty soon everyone will be doing it this way!

(Ms. Sheep and the Cheerful Teaching Assistant look at each other blankly for a full minute. Both know that this is a moment worthy of commentary, but neither can think of anything that fits. The boys continue "texting" for the remainder of the class period)

Texting. With paper and pencil. I'd laugh, but this means that I'm now old enough for my own schoolgirl behaviors to be coming back into vogue. This makes my head hurt.

I came home and did some knitting while I pedaled the exercise bike and watched Hulu on the laptop. I felt that some good, old fashioned technology was in order at that point. I mean, honestly! What has the world come to with the crazy kids texting in class and using up all the paper in the process?

As if that weren't bad enough, the texting bug seems to have been caught by another in my immediate circle. Abandon your fur babies so you can go back to school when summer vacation ends and there are sure to be repercussions.

I wants mine own phone. I miss mine mama and wants to send her texts allllll day!!!!!

That would be a rousing NO on that one, I'm afraid. I find it hard to believe that he could stay within his minutes and the bill would be insane. Plus, the Big, Fluffy Kitty would want one, too and I don't know if there are any family plans that include cats at this point in time. I would also imagine that they'd be texting me all day, wanting me to settle petty arguments over who gets The Big Cookie Bed or how much is too much when it comes to crunchies. I don't see how this could end well.

Of course, it will take some time before the AGK accepts this answer. I'm going to have to hold firm. You have no idea how far he will go when he really, really wants something. He can put The Charming Boy to shame...

PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!!!!!!!

SA