Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Retro Text

It's been an odd couple of days at The Learning Factory. Yesterday, two students were out sick and I had to send the Cheerful Teaching Assistant home because no one should ever be out among living people in that condition. Seriously. There was no amount of makeup in the world that was going to conceal the degree to which she was ill. Short-staffed and with a small enough class that two kids out means a significant dent in the learning population, the schedule was highly altered.

Today, the Teaching Assistant From Last Year Who Is Becoming More Cheerful was out sick. One of the sick kids from yesterday was out again and new one followed suit, leaving me in the same situation as yesterday. The schedule and class coverage was adjusted yet again. Plus I had to leave early for a meeting which always turns the day on its head. The fact that no one was there to meet with me when I got to the designated meeting location made things even weirder.

You start anticipating the weird after a while. It takes very little to give you pause. Today, for example, I couldn't help but notice that The Charming Boy Who Gets Away With Way More Than He Should was passing notes to The Boy Who Needs A Nicotine Patch By Noon. It wasn't like they were doing much to hide this fact so noticing it wasn't fancy detective work on my part. As the teacher in this situation, I felt it my duty to deal with this blatant display of non-compliance. It is, after all, a time honored tradition.

Ms. Sheep: Excuse me! Just what do you think you are doing?

(note: this is a stupid question since the deed and intent are obvious, but this is just how we are taught to do it in teacher-school)

Charming Boy Who Gets Away With Way More Than He Should: (still happily jotting notes and sliding them across the table to his peer) We're texting!!!

MS: (losing any kind of grip on her stern expression) Oh. My. God...

CBWGAWWMTHS: You know what, Ms. Sheep? I think we've invented a new way to text!!!! Pretty soon everyone will be doing it this way!

(Ms. Sheep and the Cheerful Teaching Assistant look at each other blankly for a full minute. Both know that this is a moment worthy of commentary, but neither can think of anything that fits. The boys continue "texting" for the remainder of the class period)

Texting. With paper and pencil. I'd laugh, but this means that I'm now old enough for my own schoolgirl behaviors to be coming back into vogue. This makes my head hurt.

I came home and did some knitting while I pedaled the exercise bike and watched Hulu on the laptop. I felt that some good, old fashioned technology was in order at that point. I mean, honestly! What has the world come to with the crazy kids texting in class and using up all the paper in the process?

As if that weren't bad enough, the texting bug seems to have been caught by another in my immediate circle. Abandon your fur babies so you can go back to school when summer vacation ends and there are sure to be repercussions.

I wants mine own phone. I miss mine mama and wants to send her texts allllll day!!!!!

That would be a rousing NO on that one, I'm afraid. I find it hard to believe that he could stay within his minutes and the bill would be insane. Plus, the Big, Fluffy Kitty would want one, too and I don't know if there are any family plans that include cats at this point in time. I would also imagine that they'd be texting me all day, wanting me to settle petty arguments over who gets The Big Cookie Bed or how much is too much when it comes to crunchies. I don't see how this could end well.

Of course, it will take some time before the AGK accepts this answer. I'm going to have to hold firm. You have no idea how far he will go when he really, really wants something. He can put The Charming Boy to shame...




sophanne said...

TEXTING!!!! Bwah ha ha ha

Mel said...

So the big question is whether or not you show them all the cool ways they can fold those "texts". Do you go for the cool props or should you avoid being seen as encouraging them?

Anonymous said...

The boys "texting" is too funny for words! I don't know what you should say either, but it is a notable moment . . .

Take care.

Anonymous said...

How you kept a straight face is beyond me!

Karen said...

Everything old is new again:) It sounds to me like some of those kids are too smart for their own good.

trek said...

Well, you do keep telling us what a fine handsome boy the AGK is.

Gah - I hate the term "texting". Use halfway decent English, people! Text messaging. We won't charge extra for speaking four syllables instead oftwo.

Cursing Mama said...

Thus confirms my suspicions that I am a forward thinker and much hipper than many would have me believe - I was texting at a fairly alarming rate years ago. And, I still do it in meetings sometimes too.

Anonymous said...

Too funny! Texting! I agree with Trek on the terminology.

Maybe you can fool the oh-so-cute AGK with a toy phone?

=Tamar said...

Wait until they find out that they can send privacy-sealed text messages by human messenger, for the price of a stamp.
There'll be no stopping them.

Lorraine said...

LOL! Did the "text messages" contain any "check this box for yes and this box for no" verbiage? That was the vogue when I first started "texting" 30+ years ago.

Kath said...

How about one of these?

Yarnhog said...

My seventh grader heard me laughing about the "texting" so I read it aloud to him. He just stared at me blankly. I guess he's not old enough to have ever passed a note with pencil and paper. I feel very, very old.