A Factual Departure

I have an affection for my blog. I love it for what it is and also for what it simply isn't designed to do. I made it and I like it. More to the point, I've made it a somewhat less than controversial space. I have enough of the conflict in my regular life. I decided that my blogging existence would be a thing of happiness and peace.

Yet every once in a while, something comes up and I feel the need to speak to it. I usually give it a week or so to see if the feeling goes away. If it doesn't, then it is probably something I want to address. This is one of those times.

I will ask of you only a few things. First, please read the full post before scampering off to the comments to share your thoughts. There are some ground rules here. Some topics can inspire differences of opinion and I'm a great fan of diversity. What I don't tolerate is disrespect. As much as I love a spirited debate, it would be rather easy for hastily written words to create discord in my carefully crafted happy place. Please feel free to respond, but do so respectfully. I have gone to great lengths to write this post in that same spirit. Any and all comments designed to incite hurt or anger will be summarily deleted. Most (in fact, I might even say all) of my known readers have always been kind in the comments so I see no reason to worry but one never knows, does one?

OK. So here's the thing:

Maine residents will soon be casting their ballots on the matter of Question 1 and determining the fate of Marriage Equality in our state. As expected, this has created much in the way of feeling. Also as expected, that feeling has led to expression. It's part of the process. Recently, we have been seeing an ad that will probably be somewhat familiar, at least in content, to those who have had similar voting decisions before them in their own states. In this spot, those who oppose the law allowing for same sex marriages put forth a number of reasons why it should be repealed. It features a man in a suit. I have mixed feelings about men in suits. They represent polar opposites. Sometimes they show up at your house with balloons, a camera crew and a big check that lets you take early retirement. Other times, they come bearing a tax audit. For the most part, though, we tend to trust men in suits. This makes them a little dangerous.

The Suited Man in this advertisement focuses a bit more on one concern than the others from his list. He makes it a point. It is hard to miss. Essentially, he says this: If same sex marriages are granted continued validation under the law, then schools will be teaching this version of the union regardless of parental consent.

This year marks my 22nd year as a Maine educator. That is certainly enough time to see a number of changes in culture, economic trends, technology and the practice of the craft. I've taught many subjects and my classrooms have been comprised of students ranging in ages from 5 to 55. I've watched laws governing how we teach change to reflect the times and have worked with my colleagues to develop curriculum that meet the new needs. There is very little I have not experienced during those 22 years and in the variety of settings, both public and private, where I've worked.

What I have never taught is marriage. Ever. Nor has it ever been asked of me. Not once. In 22 years, marriage has not been a part of any school curriculum that I've been required to teach. Further, I do not recall it ever being an elective course or something students might study in-depth as part of an after school activity.

That's not to say that it doesn't come up every now and again. Of course it does. Children like to talk about their families and share stories. The odd wedding tale is bound to crop up in discussion. Sometimes one of my colleagues is engaged and the upcoming nuptials will invariably be mentioned. In my own classroom, the Cheerful Teaching Assistant is planning a wedding and we are being rather shameless in our efforts to recruit a couple helpful students to stuff the goody bags she's giving out as favors. Marriage is a fact of life and part of the culture. Kids are aware of the concept.

Mostly, though, they just want to know how to spell it. That's pretty much the extent of marriage education. Any questions I've asked regarding whether or not there are plans to add this to the report card have been answered in the negative. There will be no marriage classes in the foreseeable future.

When the day comes for me to head to my own voting booth, I think I will be waiting in line with two types of people: those who vote based on conscience, conviction or personal belief systems and those who vote based on their understanding of the facts. As to the former, I do not feel it is my place to forcibly impart my own belief system on anyone. That is not my way and, while I don't always agree with what others define as "moral," I will respect their right to express that belief on a ballot. I expect the same in return. I think that anyone who knows me can safely predict where I stand on this issue and how I will be voting. My own code of conduct is a personal thing and something for which this blog is not a forum. I will sit on my hands and keep my mouth closed on such matters as faith and morality.

However when voters are basing their decisions on fact and I see information that is falsely presenting itself as such, then I am obligated to speak. To the best of my knowledge, marriage by any definition is not currently being taught in the Maine public schools. Of course I cannot claim to know every curriculum in every school, but I do feel pretty safe in saying that my own experience has been similar to that of most in my profession. This is not an issue upon which to base a decision so serious as Marriage Equality and should be kept out of the debate.

On a personal level, I feel angry and hurt that the work I do could be so grossly misrepresented for the purposes of swaying a vote. It was irresponsible and disrespectful. As I said earlier, I do not tolerate disrespect. True to form, I sat on this for a while to see if I really needed to speak to it.

Turns out I did.

SA