Sunday, September 13, 2009

25% On

I mentioned earlier in the week that I pulled a muscle in my neck. Being as I am a selfless creature who believes that suffering in silence is the more dignified way to live, I didn't dwell upon this matter. I know. I'm a model of sacrifice in a world gone mad with self-indulgence.

This neck issue has continued to plague me for days now. One does not realize how much of a role the neck plays in day to day living until it starts to complain. One cannot turn one's head to see danger coming. Or pastries, for that matter. One cannot sleep on one's left side because that makes the right side hurt. This is a problem if one really, really needs to sleep on the left and will just roll that way anyway once one nods off. Then one gets to wake up more sore than when one started because motor memory doesn't much care about a pain in the neck. One might eventually find a comfortable way to hold one's head, but eventually something will happen that will jar the neck and then it hurts all over again. (Certain Absurdly Gi-normous Kitties and their love of being underfoot being one of those "somethings".)

It is, in short, a stupid way to live. And it makes one look ridiculous so there is little in the way of sympathy from those who have to look at the hunchback in their midst.

It's getting better, though. In fact, I'd say that I am 75% better than I was on Tuesday. I'm grateful for that and take it as a good sign that things are improving, but 25% of ouchiness is still unpleasant.

However, life does go on and this particular Sheepie needed to go to the store this morning to buy eggs. Eggs are an essential part of the morning commuter breakfast and the ones in the fridge passed their optimal freshness date several weeks ago. Pain in the neck or not, the journey was necessary.

And so it was done. While at the store, I happened to pass down an aisle which caused a sudden head-turning reaction. This, of course, also cause a pain reaction but I barely felt it. I was too mesmerized by what lay before me.

All summer merchandise: 75% off!!!!

I have a weakness for percentages off, especially when they are presented on hastily scrawled signs and taped in place. In fact, I sometimes think I spend more on discount merchandise than I would have had I just purchased sensible, necessary things at full price. But still...75% off!

Just as I was beginning to get my neck pain back under control and start thinking more logically about the things I really need as opposed to those I don't no matter what the discount, I heard a gasp to my left. Carefully, I turned to see a woman standing at my side. She looked at me and said in tones both soft and reverent:

75% offfffffff.....


I felt a little bit better. I'm not the only one. In fact, I was the very model of restraint by comparison. While she stocked up on beach chairs, fans and patriotic plates for next summer's Fourth of July Cookout, I merely picked up two items. In her defense, the party they have on the Fourth is also their anniversary and it will be their 25th so I think she deserves to splurge a bit there. I don't begrudge her at all.

And yes. People do have a tendency to share every aspect of their lives with me in the grocery store. If you met me there, you'd do it, too. You'd be powerless to do anything else if my shopping history is any indication.

Summer clearance items don't always make sense as Fall approaches. But, when you come from a family that uses the grill well past the traditional barbecuing season, it doesn't hurt to snag a stocking stuffer or two when the opportunity presents itself. I also purchased a light-up football for the kids in my class to use when they earn free time in the afternoons. Currently, they are using this time to throw rocks at live hornet nests and I think this will be a better choice in the long run. Unless they throw the ball at the hornets, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it...

It was worth the head-turn. Only 25% of the pain and 75% off the merch. Math isn't my strong suit, but I think this one worked out OK. And I left lots of stuff for my fellow bargain hunter to pick from. When I left the aisle, her mother had joined her and they were eagerly pawing over the shelves. They looked very, very happy.

So uplifted was I by this happy and comparatively pain-free turn of events, I even spent some time knitting today. Of course, it was the Invisibility Shawl that caught my eye and I think we all know how the math works out when you factor in things like lace weight yarn and time invested. I don't have 75% of the shawl done. I might be able to stretch things a bit and say I have 25% done...but you'd have to be using very forgiving math to hang your hat with mine on that one. I am just happy to have been able to sit and knit for a while. Between the lack of motivation and The Great Neck Pain Excuse, I haven't been very good about that part of my life lately.

I only wish my weekend wasn't 75% over. I could use the extra time for healing, knitting and scouring the discount aisles...

SA

13 comments:

kmkat said...

But if you increased the size of the Invisibility Shawl by 25%, that means it must be nearly done! That's how I figure it, anyway.

Donna Lee said...

I can't resist % off sales, either. I'm drawn to that table in the bookstore or the clothing store or even the hardware store (and god knows I don't need the lamp shaped like a fish they had on sale last week for 50% off).

I hope your neck continues to feel better. Did you ever try one of those patches (bengay or absorbine jr make good ones) on the upper part of your shoulder near your sore neck? It makes the ouchies go away quicker.

trek said...

I, too, managed to knit today! Of course, I didn't knit lace (just some heel flappage) but then I had the parish picnic and that's a big of a big deal and takes up a chunk of prime knitting time as does icing the left shoulder, upon which this one should not sleep but will roll onto sometime between midnight and the alarm clock.

Yeah, I feel your pain...literally.

Heal up, Sheepie!

Mel said...

All this new math is making my head hurt. I'm down with 75% off, though.

Karen said...

I hope you're 100% today.
I can't pass up at 75% off sale either. I try to tell myself I shouldn't buy it but I always find something.

Cursing Mama said...

75% off is very good - I always find something I need when I see numbers that big.

erasmus (aka jiva) said...

cant beat a bargain for turning a girls head.
Oh and get some red Tiger balm on that neck. Just before bed. smother yourself in it. Rub it in nice and deep and put on a scarf. Fall asleep with the hot tingly feeling and wake up supple and loose. YOU MUST TRY THIS!! please?

Julie said...

You could tell us that you had 75% of the Invisibility shawl complete; how would we know differently - we can't see it.

I hope your neck is 100% better!

=Tamar said...

Stay out of thrift shops (I call them thriftless shops).

I got an inflatable travel pillow at REI and unlike all other travel pillows that I've seen, it isn't designed for pencil-necks, so it doesn't choke me. It is perfect for keeping my head and neck in place while I sleep.

knitseashore said...

I hope you are feeling better today, and your class enjoyed the new football!

Good luck on the Invisibility Shawl -- it sounds like a very large project, and might require lots of Zombie movies to finish it.

Knitting Linguist said...

Hooray for end-of-summer sales. I wish they'd have one around here so we could pick up some beach chairs -- our hot season is finally starting, and I could use some...

Hope your neck gets a few more percentage points better very soon :)

Kath said...

I'm sorry but since the second paragraph I am just stuck on the image of being attacked by oncoming pastries. It's quite a concept. And yes, I have way too much imagination.

PICAdrienne said...

Are there any recent pictures of the other residents of the manse? I miss seeing AGK and BFK. You could say I am a fan.