A Darker Truth

My Cheerful Teaching Assistant was sick for a week straight. She missed some work. When she was on site, she sniffled, snuffled and hacked for hours at a time. She is still not quite up to par. During the worst of her illness, I tidied up her desk for her, got tissues when she needed them and was virtually at her elbow should she have a single unmet need. I love my CTA. (enough to exaggerate a little bit about how incredibly helpful I was, but I did do stuff...honest!)

Yesterday I was at a Safety Procedures Training and one of my classmates was quite ill. She went through about a billion tissues and drooped ever further towards her desktop as the day progressed. I inquired as to her well-being several times and even stayed a bit after everyone else left for the day to make sure she was OK to drive home. I didn't once use hand sanitizer after we were required to make contact while practicing physical restraints. At least not in her line of sight...

Today The Charming Boy Who Gets Away With Way More Than He Should was sick. Not just a little bit sick. A lot bit sick. He could barely remain upright in his seat. His color was off and the best he could muster in the way of speech was a helpless croak. I patted his back twice during the day and checked his brow for fever. I couldn't really do much else. The CBWGAWWMTHS loses about five years from his true chronological age when he is sick and I am helpless in the presence of his sad face. I let him sleep in the unused classroom area for most of the day. He made a lot of snuffly noises back there.

I was kind to these people. I cared. Their welfare was of interest to me and I expressed my concern with great sincerity. But I'd be lying if I said that was my primary emotion. I wish I could say that I was a selfless being while those around me labored beneath their burdens.

Mostly, though, I was thinking about how I'd like to wrap these people in protective plastic.

I feel badly about it. I don't like to think of myself as the kind of person who puts herself first. But I'm so horrified by the number of germs circling about me these days that I can't help it. I can only hope that I didn't let it show while I was faking generosity...

If you need me, I'll just be over here bathing in hand sanitizer and boiling the knitting needles. I can't boil the knitting because that is wool and I think we all know what a bad idea that is. But everything else? Fair game for the boiling.

I wonder if any of the plague carriers will bring me a tissue or wipe my fevered brow once I've contracted their various diseases. Or if I'll see the same look of horror in their eyes that is currently in mine...

SA