Sunday, September 06, 2009

Is It Really So Wrong?

As you will probably remember, it was only a couple short weeks ago that the temperature in my living room soared into the nineties. We had a seven day stretch (give or take) of this and it came with a side of unbearable humidity. I'd like to say that I bore up well under this trial by fire and that I presented myself with a gentle dignity so as not to burden others with my suffering.

I know very well that I did not.

I was fussy and grumpy while the heat wave rolled across the state. I drank vast amounts of root beer, burped lustily and wore garments highly unsuitable for a lady of my advanced years. I lolled about on the couch for hours at a time and pointed out to anyone who asked that this was perfectly acceptable given the state of the weather, adding more of the lusty burps for good measure. I cursed the very atmosphere and used real curse words to do it. Not the poetic kind. The truck driver kind. This always adds a certain touch of style to a sweaty, root beer swilling, middle aged woman lolling on the couch in a sweaty tank top, don't you think?

This sort of weather always generates the same conversation when people gather in groups. Inevitably, someone will ask the question: Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

Everyone will then chime in with their favorite form of misery and defend their decision with great fervor. Some think that it is better to be too hot because winter is coming and we should appreciate warmth while we have it. Some would rather be too cold because it is such a simple thing to just throw on a sweater and we are knitters, are we not? I tend to sit outside these conversations. My opinion isn't usually helpful since everyone is taking sides on the weather issue. I can't help to settle any ties on this one. When it comes to extremes, I don't feel like I should have to choose.

I'd rather be comfortable.

I know. I'm no fun. Everyone else is playing the game and I have to go and ruin it by being selfish. I'd hate me too if I weren't so busy trying to find the right climate for myself.

I say all this because I think it will help to clear up some confusion. Surely there will be those who will wonder how I could still be unhappy now that the heat wave has passed. Others, of course, have realized by now that I am a fussy creature at heart and have learned to just nod and smile while I rant. I rant a lot. I am easily driven to rant-state. I am highly rantable.

I do not think it is unreasonable to keep the windows open in early September. In fact, given the recent heat wave, I think it is prudent because you never know when the sun will suddenly decide to turn on us again. Hence, I am somewhat miffed by the fact that the temperatures dropped into the forties last night and that the situation in the living room was venturing towards "arctic" when I got up this morning. (forgetting to turn off the fan in the window was probably a judgement error on my part, but I don't want to talk about that...) I think it is kind of mean of Weather to play such a cruel trick, especially when I have made my position on comfort quite clear.

I stayed chilly for most of the day. During the family cook-out at Mommy and Daddy Sheep's house this afternoon, I bundled myself into a heavy sweatshirt and gave some serious thought to sticking my steak in my pocket to try and get my core temperature back up. (I didn't do that. I just thought about it.) I cursed myself for wearing sandals and kept getting distracted by thoughts of what little body heat I had left oozing out between my toes. Fortunately, the food was amazing so I was able to keep up my strength, but it was a near thing. Why, I barely made it through to dessert and I would have just kicked myself had I frozen to death before getting chocolate cake!

You'd think this sudden turn in temperature would inspire me to knit in defense. I should probably be feeling the need to start cranking out various woolly body coverings before it's too late. But I'm not. I've barely picked up the sticks since the start of school.

Mostly I'm just inspired to huddle. I'm still drinking the root beer and there is an equal amount of lusty burping going on, but at least I'm doing it while decently covered and not in a sweaty tank top. I suppose that is an improvement. However, I still find the whole thing incredibly unfair and I am writing a letter to whomever is in charge of Weather to voice my complaints. It will be a strongly worded letter and I will get to it just as soon as my fingers thaw out enough to type.

It would probably help if I remembered to close the windows. I still haven't done that. But I don't want to get out from under the blanket just yet...

SA


15 comments:

kmkat said...

LOL all the way through! Poor Sheepie. Methinks you need a keeper, someone to fan you when it's hot, hand you hot chocolate when it's chilly, and generally wait on you hand and foot. How's that sound?

crzjane said...

I know what you mean about the temp change. Even checking the weather forecast doesn't help. How do you dress? Where I work it's been arctic temps inside while it's in the 90's outside. I too would like to be just simply "comfortable". It's such a pleasant state to be in. *sigh*
BTW, you might want to close that window before you go to bed.

Mel said...

If only you had a dishcloth around. The kind with sleeves. And maybe some wool socks. Maybe even some mitts....

Anonymous said...

I gotta laugh over the "mostly I'm inspired to huddle" part..

You crack me up girl :)

mia

trek said...

I've not been wielding the sticks with as much fervor this past week myself, what with all of the getting up before the crack of dawn to get the Neatnik ready for school and all of that, so I can understand your position.

I also was cold at a barbecue yesterday afternoon. Guess I should have brought a sweatshirt with me. But then who would have noticed the new "buffness"?

Sadly, nobody mentioned the buff.

I really should have brought that sweatshirt...

Word verification of the day: pastra. Italianization of the English noun pastry perhaps?

Karen said...

You didn't ask but I'm going to say I'd rather be cold. I can always add layers but there is little I can do other than strip to get cooler. And even then it only helps a little.

Knitcoach said...

Nothing like a few lusty burps to take your mind off the heat a bit. We have been having some extreme weather shifts here on the west coast too. I just gave up and turned on the heat this morning. It was just too cold to contemplate my morning exercise routine.

Donna Lee said...

It feels like summer just gave us a wave as it drove by this year. Except for that brief period in the middle of August. And then yesterday and today, cloudy and cool. I have socks on today. And slippers! The windows are still open. I can't bring myself to close them.

Kath said...

I envy you those lusty burps. I can't manage a decent burp to save my life - really! I have to stay away from carbonated beverages because I just end up feeling like I'm going to explode. Pathetic.

=Tamar said...

I'll join you with kmkat's hot chocolate and the keeper with the fan. I seem to have about a four-degree range of comfort, from 74F to 78F. I think specific rooms should be assigned according to who likes the usual temperature in each room. At my old office I sometimes wore my winter coat in July.

knitseashore said...

I loved our week-long heatwave. It was the only time all year I came out from under the blankets!

At least right now I can leave the windows open, while I'm still huddled underneath them.

Good times.

Cursing Mama said...

As long as you keep your feet out of the grill I think you're doing just fine.

I think word verification is up to something today... "mistash" have you misplaced the dishcloth with sleeves?

Knitting Linguist said...

Wouldn't you rather be having hot chocolate whilst huddling? It seems more apropos, somehow... (and in the end, chocolate makes everything better!)

Julie said...

I'm with you; I see no reason why we should have to choose either extreme heat or extreme cold (although, if forced to choose, you know my choice).

Cathy said...

The two weeks of summer I swore I couldn't wait for fall.

I'm encased in wooly treasures and considering that crocheted sweats are not redundant.