Wednesday, February 11, 2009

WNBP With A Side Of Antibacterial Handsoap

The histamine reactions kick in with regularity over here.  Sometimes I feel almost human.  Then I start sneezing and it all just goes downhill.  My eyes swelled up about half an hour ago thanks to a particularly nasty flare up of this thing so innocently dubbed, "The Common Cold."  I tell you, if it weren't time for The Wednesday Night Bullet Post, I fear I would not be able to proceed.  There is no way I could produce a coherent paragraph.

But it is Wednesday.  So I don't have to.  I'll just stuff a tissue up my ever-dripping right nostril and go for the highlights.  And yes.  I meant for that visual to hit you right between the eyes.  I am miserable and see no need for anyone else to be happy at this point...

*That's not true.  I don't want you to be miserable.  Now I feel badly.  Just stop thinking about me with a tissue up my nose.  I didn't mean that...

*My entire teaching day was punctuated with very mature phrases.  I really do think I rose above my infirmity and took the high road.

*During Math Class:  "You guys all hate me, don't you?  You planned this.  You all sat around for days and days plotting against me with your germ warfare tactics.  You are evil, vicious little teenagers!"

*During Language Arts Class:  "The world does TOO revolve around me!  I am sick!  So it revolves around me even more than it did before!!!"

*During Science Class:  Oh, great!  Now I have a nosebleed!  Way to go, you little plague-carriers!  You aren't satisfied with infecting me.  Now you want me to bleed to death right here in the middle of the classroom!"

*Still During Science Class:  "I am so totally NOT being overly dramatic!"

*Not my most witty banter today.  

*Actually, that prize goes to the kid who said, "You know, for a therapist, you sure do seem to need some counseling..."

*In point of fact, I am not a therapist.  I opted to not do the clinical portion of my degree.  

*I did not tell him this, though.  

*Too busy being horrified by his insight.

*I need to wind another skein of yarn before I can continue with "the dishcloth" (with sleeves).  
*I can't seem to bring myself to do that.  I am too busy sneezing and informing the entire world of their responsibilities regarding my attentional needs.

*Plus I can't open my eyes right now.  

*Maybe I'll work on the sock...

*We had an outside entity come in and do achievement testing with random 8th graders today to assess student progress.

*This is important and the results will determine our school's overall performance rating.

*I spoke with at least 5 kids who informed me that they thought the test was stupid and that they just colored in bubbles.

*I pulled the tissue from my right nostril long enough to tell them that they might want to remember this conversation the next time the legislature was debating extending the school year due to low test scores.

*When you are sick, you should wash your hands.  You should do this a lot.

*But I can't use my bathroom sink.

The drain seems to be blocked.

I'll give it some time to clear itself and then I'm getting the plunger.  

I gotta go.  I need a new tissue.  I should probably also check the sink and see if I am allowed to use it yet.  I haven't washed my hands in a while and have probably left germy ookiness all over the manse.  Hope that your Wednesday has treated you well and that you have spent less time trying to breathe freely or pry your eyeballs open than I.  

And we are also hoping that the next post finds your faithful Sheep a little less on the whiny side...



trek said...

I taught freshman college today, or as we like to call it here at chez trek, High School: Year Five (It sounds all cool and JK Rowling-esque when you say it like that)

They didn't cough on me,nor did they sneeze on me. They did, howevfer, neglect to study for their test and I don't even want to think about how many of them did not do well. Some of them would have done amazingly better if they had just "colored in the bubbles".

Feel better, Sheepie.

Word Verification: hypentle. That must either be a medical term or a souped up bit of wizarding apparatus.

Kath said...

Based on my own experiences I'd suggest that the sink blockage can be cleared quite rapidly by pouring a small amount of fresh crunchies into the nearest cat food bowl.

Hope you feel better soon!

Beth said...

You don't need counseling - you have knitting! That's the best looking sink blockage I've ever seen.

EGunn said...

You’ve been tagged for a Kreativ blog award over at
Thanks for the daily dose of laughter!

Anonymous said...

So, you aren't supposed to just color in the dots, making a fun design? That's what I always did :-)

I hope you feel better soon (and not just because I want you to be less whiney).

Alwen said...

Surprise cuteness at the end of the bullet points! Yaaaay!

Verification, teekabl. Teh sink kitteh is very teekabl.

Donna Lee said...

We had an outside entity test our high school kids on their sexual health/drug use knowledge. If the results are to be believed, the entire school (except for one or two kids) is stoned/high all the time and having sex right out in the hallways. The kids outright admitted that they didn't take it seriously. The sad part is that the data is used for serious (money) issues.

Karen said...

Those tests are torture. At least the kids weren't coloring the bubbles to form naughty words or maybe they were....
Cute clog you've got there:)
I hope you feel better.

Mia said...

Did you know, when you first got AGK (is that the right initials?) that he would be the most photogenic cat in the universe?!

=Tamar said...

When I was in high school, one of the guys claimed he had taken an extra SAT in a language he had never studied, "colored in the bubbles" in an interesting pattern, and got an acceptable score...

Knitting Linguist said...

I'd be whining, too, if I'd had to face a classroom full of teenagers with a tissue stuck up my nose (not to mention the fur-clogged sink). It's almost the weekend, and then a week off. Hang in there...

Anonymous said...

Feel better! I hope the clog moves to your lap to provide some much-needed love and appreciation.

And the children ARE plotting to ruin your life. I had one kid admit it this year ;-)

Take care.
Sarah (scienceprincess)

Knitting Linguist said...

P.S. I just wanted to let you know that I've tagged you for an award :)

Anonymous said...

DH has been grossing me out for days with the Juiciest Cold In The Known Universe. I keep reminding myself it is far worse for him. And you. Hope the histamines go back to wherever they came from.

Do the people at the state realize how students treat these tests? There should be some sort of fudge factor to neutralize the kids' attitudinal disadvantage.

Janine said...

Things aren't that much better up here in Blue Hill. The entire peninsula has some kind of the whooping cough has legs. Very virulent legs, I'll have you know. One school up here has lost more than half their students!

I keep telling them to embrace their inner OCD child. Wash all the science classroom has bottles of soap and hand wash next to every box of kleenex. We're not taking any chances.

Good luck, Ms. Sheep. Teachers and knitters up here feel your pain.

.inserting tissue up nostril.

Jeanne said...

Oh, the Cute. It hurts me.

My verification word: busteav

Either rhymes with Gustav, or it's

Bust-A "V" as in VIRUS!

I vote for Bust a Virus.

Cathy said...

Love your sink photo. It's worth the inconvenience.

Get better soon or at least the very minute the weekend starts