Sunday, February 08, 2009

Nothing Is What It Seems

Sometimes you just have to sit back and enjoy the inconsistencies.  Don't get me wrong.  Predictability is very nice.  There is nothing quite like having things follow the agenda.  When the trains run on time, we are all happier people.  There is a certain comfort to be found in listening to a familiar playlist.  And who doesn't feel a sense of power when ordering a #12 without even having to glance at the menu?  It's nice.  

But life is all about the random and we'd better just get used to it.  If nothing else, it is not boring.  You have to have the right attitude about these things.  If I wasn't able to do that, however would I begin to find meaning in life now that The Convenience Store Where They Call You Honey And Sweetie And You Sort Of Like That has been sold?  It's been over a month since this most unholy of transactions took place and I am only just getting the hang of going in there only to be called "ma'am."  Thankfully, one staff person remained to keep the weekday, early morning shift going so I can still catch a, "Sweetie" if I stop in before heading to work.  Otherwise, it is all business down there now.  

It makes my Sunday morning Mountain Dew Run a little depressing, that's for sure.  Who wants to be called, "ma'am" at 9:00 on a Sunday morning?

The weather has also decided to surprise us today.  After days and days of temperatures well below freezing, Mother Nature threw us a curve ball.  According to my car, it was 40 degrees (4 and change on the Celsius scale)  at The Convenience Store Where They Used To Call Me Honey And Sweetie And I Really Miss That.  Later, my computer informed me that it was up to 50 degrees. (10 c.) Very weird.  But a pleasant surprise.  I even had a window open for a while at one point.

Oh, and how about Zombi 2?  That's not exactly what it seems either.  Of course, I knew that going in so there was no real confusion on my part.  It's a classic and one I'd wanted to add to the Zombie Reference Library for a while.  I'm guessing that most people would probably think it is a sequel what with the "2" being in the title and whatnot.  I'm also guessing that most people don't really care all that much since the thing was on back order since December 30th and only just arrived last week.  It's not one of those DVDs kept in great quantities and easily snagged for shipment by the warehouse staff over at Amazon.  

But this Italian gem is not a sequel.  The implied sequencing was added later to capitalize on the success of the films coming out of the U.S. at the time.  Hence, it lives under several titles.  To complete the cycle of confusion, it is one of those magnificent movies that has an international cast.  Half of them are speaking English, the rest needed to have the dialogue dubbed in for American audiences.  It is a thing of beauty if you happen to find that kind of stuff aesthetically pleasing.

It is also a fabulous zombie movie and a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon while you recover from being called, "ma'am" at the place where you used to be more of a "sweetie."

In keeping with this tradition of misdirection, I knit many, many rows on the current WIP while I watched the living dead lay waste to a lovely tropical isle.  The "dishcloth" (with sleeves) grew by leaps and bounds and I credit my progress to having refused to identify its true nature.  Much like a convenience store that only looks like my store on the outside or a movie that says it's a "two" when it's really a "one," the whole thing just works better if I switch things up a bit.  We all know how The Dark Forces feel about my knitting.  They leave me alone if they think I am cranking out things like garter stitch scarves or plain socks.  The minute they get wind of my trying anything more ambitious, they get all smite-y on me.  Everyone is happier if I just keep up the pretense.  

Satisfactorily vague photo.  It could be anything, really.  

But for the time being, it is still a "dishcloth."  Let's just say we are doing it for marketing purposes.  When the time comes to be more truthful, we'll deal with it.  For now, we just enjoy the excitement that comes from a sneaky change of pace.  Even the "dishcloth" seems happy with this arrangement.  That makes sense since it hasn't had to hear me cussing it out in a while. 

Heck, I think I even heard it call me, "sweetie" at one point early in the afternoon.  But that might have been wishful thinking on my part...



trek said...

N ope, I herad it too: the Dishcloth definitely uttered a "sweetie" around four pm today.

Kath said...

Oh I really hate being called "ma'am" by other adults. It's so depressing at any time of day! There's a guy working in one of the places here who says, "darlin' " which is nice to most women except a tad disconcerting to me as his ex-SO from several years back. Generally I hear a lot of "mija" (my daughter) here which is great because it makes me feel young!

Susan said...

It's not out yet, and it's not a dvd, but I read a blurb about a new book that made me thing of you--it's called (and I kid you not) _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_, by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. I'm looking forward to it--Elizabeth Bennet "wages war against hordes of undead" in it.

details here:,book-info/store,books/products_id,7847/title,Pride-and-Prejudice-and-Zombies/

Karen said...

Very nice dishcloth.

Anonymous said...

The weather thing: you seem to be getting the exact same weather we get, just a few days later. Therefore I must warn you that the melting thing is really dangerous because it is followed by a just-barely-freezing thing that turns all the melted snow into very, very slippery ice. My dogs keep falling down, and, although I haven't fallen (yet) I am in constant fear of it. Take care.

But at least the ice keeps the zombies at bay. They hate ice. (Bet you didn't know that.)

Jeanne said...

Oh, I hate being called "ma'am", too! Maybe when I'm 75 it'll be OK. Ask me in 30 years. It must be in my subconscious though. A barely-pushing-20-years-old store employee gave me the dirtiest look when I summoned her. It wasn't until later when I realized it must have been because I called out "Excuse me, MA'AM, but could you help me?" when clearly she was still a "miss".

Knitting Linguist said...

It's good that someone's still calling you "sweetie", because frankly ma'am is just sick and wrong and way too much to face at 9am on a Sunday before Mountain Dew.