I Doh. Idz By Fault.

The time:  9:30 a.m.

The Place: Ms. Sheep's classroom/Small group language arts lesson.

Ms. Sheep is working with a The Kid Who Has Been Coming To School With A Cold For Nigh On A Month (let us call him Booger Boy, why don't we?) She is attempting to help him with his Persuasive Writing assignment.  Having overslept this morning, she is behind schedule and out of sorts.  Still, she does her duty as an educator and attempts to explain (for the fortieth time) what she needs this child to do before she starts hearing that weird crackling sound from her brain again.  Things always seem to go badly after the crackling sound starts up...

Booger Boy:  That was a great explanation, Ms. Sheep.  You are the best!  Now, if you could just say it one more time, I think I'll have it down pat!

Ms. Sheep:  I dib up...

BB:  Huh?

MS:  I dib up!  Diz iz dot workin...

BB:  Boy, Ms. Sheep.  You sure do sound stuffy.  It's hard to understand you.  I almost thought you said something about giving up...

MS:  (lays her head on the table and whimpers a little bit)

BB:  You know what?  I think you might have a cold.  I know what that feels like.  I've had one for a month now, in case you hadn't noticed.

MS:  Doh.  I do dot hab a code.  You are bisdakin.  I'b fide.

BB:  I dunno, Ms. Sheep.  You sound pretty clogged up, there.  And I think that The Husky Redheaded Kid Who Reminds You Of Your Cat sneezed on the table right where you are sitting like...fifty times yesterday!

(Husky Redheaded kid waves cheerily from the other side of the room.  BB waves back.  Ms. Sheep does not.)

MS:  I do DOT hab a code.  Stob sayin' dat!  I am dot geddin' a code right before bacation!!!

BB:  Ok.  Whatever you say.  

MS:  Dad's ride, whadebber I say!!!

BB:  (Wipes his dripping nose with his crusty sleeve and looks thoughtful)  You know...I sort of can't help but feel like this is a little bit my fault.

MS:  (Lays her head on the table again and remains this way for the rest of the class)

I didn't contradict him.  It's not like he would have understood me anyway.  Yet even I know that this is not entirely his boogery fault.  Sure, he was among those who brought this plague unto me and there is no denying that the Husky Redheaded Kid played a part in all this.  But I have to admit that I tempted fate one too many times and that I am now paying the piper.

I've flirted with several colds this school year.  Each time the symptoms began to manifest, I wondered if I was soon to be struck down.  I never was.  I fought off each and every sniffle like some kind of Ninja Warrior.  I couldn't be brought down.  It was like I was made of steel or something.

And I got cocky.

I began to brag to anyone who would listen about how amazing my immune system had become.  Clearly, I must be some kind of superhero.  By the latter stages of my delusional phase, I was tossing out words like, "immortal" and " God-like."  

Bad move.

Karma heard me.  Karma is always lurking around somewhere and I tend to forget that.  Hence, I am often ambushed when fate decides to smack me around a bit.  I can't even get mad at Karma.  I asked for it.  And I really should have known better.

So now I'm all stuffy and incapable of pronouncing words key to the running of a classroom.  Booger Boy and The Husky Redheaded Kid are still producing vast amounts of goo and probably leaving it all over the place for me to find.  I suppose I can still hope that I will beat this one back as quickly as I have the other infestations of ookiness....

But I don't have a good feeling about it.  I'm probably going to have a cold.  I am probably going to have it while I am teaching that stupid Safety Procedures class on Friday.  I will probably still have it while I am starting my vacation.  It's best to accept that, I think.

That's OK.  I suppose it could be worse.  We've already covered most of the material for the upcoming class and we will definitely end early that day.  And I didn't have much planned for the vacation week anyway.  Mostly naps and knitting.  That is stuff you can do with a cold.  In fact, it is a nice way to justify all the napping and knitting.  I have a few social engagements and will keep them all.  But mostly I'll nap and no one can tell me that I am wasting my vacation by doing so.  

Even Karma shouldn't have any problem with that...I hope.

SA