Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Final Grades

Report card day is always a biggie.  It's the day you find out if you made the cut or if you will be repeating the whole stupid year.  It's enough to make even the hardiest of pupils tremble just a bit.

Tonight we shall take a look at Sheepie's final grades.  Since mid-June, I have been participating in the Summer Of Compensatory Knitting Socialization (S.O.C.K.S) Program.  This is an intensive course of study designed to help a knitter who tends to hibernate for much of the year re-learn the art of being amongst real, live people.  It requires that, for the summer months, I travel to The Yarn Sellar, knit publicly, engage with others in a manner that does not raise eyebrows and remember to wear matching shoes if possible.  Regular attendance at this once weekly event is mandatory for successful completion of the program.  

With the start of school now a week away, tonight represented the last of my S.O.C.K.S. sessions for the '08 season.  It is time to review how I did.  Let's run down the criteria and assess progress:

Attendance:  Not bad.  However, two sessions were missed and this did cost me a few points.  The fact that one of these absences was due to vehicular difficulties was factored in and adjustments were made to account for the need to think about safety.  

Project Completion:  Could have been better.  In the "finished" category we can count That Weird Little Scarf Thing That I Knit For A While Then Cast Off Because I Got Bored With It, The Blog Buster Sweater (I did knit a sleeve while at S.O.C.K.S.) and one lonely sock.  I honestly think I could have done better...

Socializing:  Rather well done, if I do say so myself!  Why there were times when I was downright chatty!  That might account for the lack of knitting progress now that I think about it...

Shoes:  They matched every, single week.  I was a champ with the shoes!  I did wear mismatched socks one night, though.  But I don't think anyone noticed so I'm good.  I'm not even going to count that.  They were footies.  Footies can't really be called socks anyway.

Extra Credit Stuff That Really Has Nothing To Do With Knitting Or Socialization But Which Amuses Me So I'm Adding It To My Cumulative Grade:  

*Timing my departures to coincide with the closing of a certain restaurant along the way home and getting "stuck" at the stop sign so I could watch that unbelievably cute bartender putting up the stools and stuff almost every week.  Good times...

*Daring to crochet in public

*Being told for the last two consecutive weeks and by two separate people that I didn't look 40.  And their clarifying that they meant I looked younger than 40.  This is good since I am actually closer to the mid-forties.  I could have understood if they thought I looked older, I suppose.  It just wouldn't have been quite so pleasant.  I guess I'm a lot more relaxed during the summer months.  They should see me in March.  I'm all tense and wrinkly. 

*Eating cake.  You don't often find cake in a yarn store.  Nor do I often eat in front of other people because I fear getting things stuck in my teeth or finding out that I think the food is yucky. (super picky eater, here...)  But the cake was not yucky at all and I am pretty sure that I didn't get any stuck in my teeth.  And, even if I did, I didn't care one whit.  It was good cake.


All these factors were considered when the final grades were determined.  The S.O.C.K.S. program is well-known for its somewhat "subjective" assessment process.  This is mostly due to my being the one doing the grading and I hate doing averages.  That's a lot of math to be doing in the summer, don't you think?  So I just ponder stuff and make up the grade I think fits best.  

Given that I did miss two sessions and that I really didn't use the knitting time as well as I could, I missed getting the A+.  However, I did make it down there far more often than I failed to do so and I was really quite social.  No one was seen rolling their eyes after I said something and I didn't once notice anyone diving for chairs on the other end of the table when I walked into the shop.  Then there was the whole thing with the matching shoes.  All in all, I think I did pretty well.

I'm giving myself an A for this year's efforts.  Who knows?  Maybe next year I'll hit the A+!  Until then, I'll just have to go back to work for the school year and dream of S.O.C.K.S. '09.

I'm already looking forward to it...

SA

12 comments:

trek said...

A very fairly determined and granted A!

Very proud of you, Sheepie Dear. And, boy, do I wish I was driving distance to the Yarn Sellar. :o(

Kath said...

You absolutely get an A! When you tally up the Project Completion, the Blog Busting Sweater is weighted like a final exam, not just a assignment or a little quiz, and you passed with flying colors.

Yarnhog said...

Even if you hadn't earned the A with regular work, the extra credit from the Blog Curse Sweater Busting Sweater would surely have tipped the scales in your favor.

Mel said...

It's probably good that I didn't make it there more this summer. Had I done so, I think there definitely could have been some eye-rolling. Oh the conversations we do have!

Mia said...

aren't ya supposed to get some kind of reward for good grades ??

Julie said...

I think you definitely deserve that A. You forgot to mention how you survived the Fine China episode like a champ. You get extra bonus points for that!

Karen said...

An A is the perfect grade. You'll have to strive for that A+ next summer.

Anne said...

Nice job on your summer knitting list! "A" indeed.

(PS - I had a prof in college who gave F minuses. Is that not completely pathetic? Like an F wasn't bad enough. He WAS an odd duck, however.)

Anonymous said...

Julie is right. I think you should write the Definative Survival Guide about fine china conversations! See you next summer.
Carol

Jeanne said...

Hey, give yourself more credit for Project Completion. You finished a SWEATER. An entire sweater! While successfully escaping the Blog Sweater Curse. I think that puts you into the A++ category, myself.

Me, I finished a dishcloth that really IS a dishcloth, not, sadly, a SID (Sweater In Disguise).

Knitting Linguist said...

Congratulations! Someday, you might even be accepted into a graduate program :)

kmkat said...

Knitting the Thing That Turned Out To Be A Sweater counts double double triple, I think.

Besides, A is the perfect grade. A+ is reserved for nasty, over-achieving little nerds who grow up to start dot-com companies and make millions and retire at 23. And you wouldn't want that, now would you?