Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Life In The Big Top

Circuses are fun.  There's clowns and amazing acrobats, lions and all the cotton candy you are willing to throw up later that night.  After the circus (and before the throwing up), you dream about wearing a pink leotard and swinging around on a trapeze, the envy of all.

Yup.  Circuses are fun.  Unless you are the one who has to clean up after the elephants and keep them all in that line where they hold onto each other, trunk to tail.  Then it is a lot of work.  My own personal classroom/circus has required a great deal of elephant type upkeep lately and I am getting mighty tired of wielding that shovel.  Which is why, by day's end today, I was a little bit out of sorts.  I also couldn't find my shovel.  I think one of the little charmers stole it.  By 2:00, I was engaged in the following conversation with The Student Who Came In From His Regular Class To Theoretically Finish Some Work:

Ms. Sheep:  What are you doing?

TSWCIFHRCTTFSW:  That thing on Whaling During Colonial Times.

MS:  Really?  Because it seems to me that you are not doing anything remotely like that.

TSWCIFHRCTTFSW:  Nope.  Pretty sure I am.  Don't worry about a thing.  I'm on it.

MS:  Actually, based on my own observation, it seems to me that you are really just hanging out and chatting with The Kid Who Hasn't Done Work In Any Appreciable Amount For Weeks But Today, For Reasons That Are Beyond My Ken, Decided To Finish Everything And Then Some And Is Now Wandering Around Bothering Everyone Else.  That's what it looks like to me, my friend.  What do you say to that?

TSWCIFHRCTTFSW:  I'm multi-tasking.

MS:  (beats head repeatedly on desk)


Stupid circus.  I am not a good ringmaster.  I wasn't even issued one of those cool tuxedos with a top hat.  

You can see why I need to make up my own entertainment in my "off" hours.  And why my little game with the Internal Revenue Service, the one where I put off filing the taxes until I can't stand the suspense anymore, is such a therapeutic thing.    Besides, if I don't make the deadline for filing, I can apparently just tell them I was multi-tasking.  

I've set some pretty impressive records over the years.  I've never actually waited until the 15th.  But, I've come close.  Since I don't skydive or wrestle alligators, I figure I'm entitled to other sorts of high risk behaviors.  And, I'm sure you've all been waiting with bated breath to find out if I actually hit the "send" button and sent those forms, which have been completed for a while now, whizzing through the internets to rest in an electronic pile with all the others.  Or you are remembering just now that I've mentioned my IRS game and are mildly interested because there is a commercial on at the moment and you are tired of hearing about how my DSL connection is all messed up.  Either way, I shall reveal the truth.

I actually pulled the trigger on the taxes on April 10th.  After a review of the finances (which have been shaky for the last 6 months or so) and estimating how long my refund will take, it seemed prudent to send them in nice and early.  Early by my standards, anyway.  It was the right thing to do.  I was sad to lose the game.  I wish I could have held on longer.  But, you know what they say:  Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes.  

Assuming I don't fall victim to the first, then I will get a another chance with the second in 2009.

And, on a happier note, this means that I will have yarn money for the spring vacation week.  And pizza money.  And I can maybe even pick up some peanuts for the elephants.  Maybe then, they will behave themselves.  (except the ones with nut allergies...I may need to rethink the peanut plan)

I will also need to pick up another shovel.  It's only a week's vacation and there's a bit of a stretch until summer.  I am going to need another shovel...

SA


16 comments:

Knitting Linguist said...

Congratulations on the refund -- if anyone ever deserved yarn money from the govmint, it's you, my friend. I was just thinking about you yesterday, in fact, as I made it through an extra-long stint of teaching, which won't seem long to you. But going straight through from 10 until 2:30, entertaining college students was more than enough for me!! Hang in there, it's almost break time...

Kris said...

Congrats on the refund. It feels good, doesn't it.

Beth said...

Yea for sending your taxes before the computer meltdown! Having yarn money for spring break is good.

We had a surprise this year. We e-file both the fed and state returns, but this year we couldn't e-file the fed because we had too many of a certain form. So yesterday I was in line at the PO with half of the county. I'm just glad we didn't wait to try to e-file tonight!

Julie said...

YAY for yarn money! Yarn money is good.

Mia said...

Oh yeah, sounds like you're gonna have a great week off Sheepie. Enjoy.

Oh, and would you believe... back before there was me, my father actually WAS the caretaker of the elephants at a circus!!! What a co-ink-e-dink ::laughing::

Deb said...

Huh - you teach in my kid's school? Because I swear, whenever I go in to pick her up after staying late for "extra help" that same kid is in her classroom. Problem is, she doesn't have NEARLY as good a ring master as you must be!

Karen said...

I'm so glad you hit send. I was getting a little nervous! Enjoy spending that refund. A little stimulation to the economy is a good thing.

Yarnhog said...

We have never sent our taxes in before the 15th. You know those lines at the post office at five minutes to midnight? We plan for those. Of course, we also had to pay the government an enormous amount of hard earned money, which it will undoubtedly turn around and throw down that never-ending sinkhole in the Middle East--but I'm sure that's more important than health care, education, or developing alternative energy sources so that we don't need to be sucked into some endless sinkhole in the Middle East. Ooops. My bitterness is showing. Sorry. I haven't recovered from tax day yet.

Donna Lee said...

I was glad I didn't wait until the 15th to hit send because they wouldn't let me efile. My youngest daughter who turned 18 last year forgot to mention on her taxes that she could be claimed on my taxes. So I had to print out the forms and file the paper. But it's not supposed to delay my refund. Right.

debsnm said...

The fact that you can wrangle those elephants on a daily basis and keep *any* kind of a sense of humor constantly amazes me. I thought about being a sub once. But my sister pointed out that all parents and most administrators frown on the maiming and/or killing of the wee ones, so I decided to re-think that strategy. No patience here, yep, the little elephants should be extremely grateful that I'm not in their classroom, ever.

Alwen said...

But I think you would look fabulous in a top hat and one of those swallowtail tuxedoes! And you'd probably hold kid-attention for, oh, about six sec -- hey, look, a chicken!

Cursing Mama said...

I do not like circuses one single bit. Nope.
I did manage to hold out on the IRS one year and ended up in the Airport Post Office line (it stays open 24/7 -365)at 11:30PM on the 15th to get the magic stamp declaring it was mailed on time. The line was so long I thought we wouldn't make it, I almost threw up. I didn't knit back then so all I could do was worry.

trek said...

Yarn money? This implies that you might actually knit and show us what you are knitting.

Not that I have room to talk. When was the last time you saw fiber at my blog?

Never mind...

::begins mumbling incoherently about bits, bytes, pixels, and zombies::

trek said...

PS - My tax refund came before you filed. ;o)

Anne said...

I am reminded of Olivia the Pig, and how she saved the circus ... if you don't know this great classic of American literature, it's a must. Hang in there, it's almost time for you (and my youngest) to be on break!

Ronni said...

I have a mental image of you looking a bit like that poor kitty on the "hang in there" posters of days gone by. Only two more days before break right? You can do it!

Have fun with the refund spending.