Saturday, April 12, 2008

Counting It Down

I could cite any number of examples.  There are a plethora of hints.  I don't really even have to work all that hard to win my case.  It is high time for Spring Break.  Past time, I think...

There was the little incident involving me telling the school secretaries what to do in the event that I am found on the roof.  There was a witness to my having said, "Things around here are starting to move past the 'stupid' stage and it's fair to say that I am not exactly part of the solution."  And none will ever forget my reaction to my principal's having slammed the photocopier lid while I was standing in the office and, upon seeing me jump, saying, "I just wanted to see if you were awake."   There are those who might suggest that me following him down the short hallway to his office with my arms spread wide and making that "c'mere, buddy...let's go" motion with my fingers while saying, "I'll fight ya!  I'll fight ya right now!!!" was, perhaps, a little bit of overkill.

My principal is retiring at the end of this school year and has a sense of humor born of knowing that he is not really going to be held accountable for too much longer.  This makes him a great deal of fun to be around, frankly.  But, he didn't take me up on my challenge.  Which is good.  Even having a goodly number of years on me and looking every one of them, he could still wipe the floor with my sheepy butt and we both know it.

 But the most powerful indicator came from a student during a language game we play in the classroom to help kids develop listening and questioning skills.  It is kind of based on Twenty Questions and requires that they work together to guess what I have written on a super secret and highly guarded piece of scrap paper which is hidden in a very secure manila folder.  When they were having a little trouble guessing the word, "cartoons," I hinted that this was something about which I might occasionally make mention.  Without missing a beat, one lad replied in that rapid-fire way which indicates no real need to actually think his answer through:

Zombies?  The cat?  Your obsession with shopping for The End Of Days?  The eight million rolls of toilet paper you've stockpiled?  Your not having filed your taxes?

I think we may need some "apart time."  It's been too long.  Our relationship has lost that special magic which can come only from a little of the mystery.  

But we are not there yet.  Maine has a pretty long gap between the winter and spring vacations so I have another week with which to entertain the little darlings.  And, heaven help me, I've run out of topics.  Unless I can win a Nobel Prize or develop the ability to turn water into Mountain Dew between now and Monday, they are stuck with the same tired stories for five more days.  I sort of feel badly for them.  I say, "sort of" because I have heard all the tales they have to tell and don't feel that I should take full responsibility for our Predictability Predicament.

Sadly, they are not going to get anything of real interest from me come the start of the school week.  After a rather long 5 days at The Learn-a-ma-torium, I find myself unable to do much this weekend.  I managed to pull myself together well enough to head out to the grocery store to replenish the Mountain Dew supply and find sustenance for The Big, Fluffy Kitty.  My plan to mail out all those overdue bills was sort of thwarted by my not having remembered to put stamps on them so I went to the dollar store for cheap candles and snack cakes in order that I might be able to say that I took care of two things while I was out this morning.  I'm sure that my creditors will understand that I was too tuckered out from all that activity to go back out after the envelopes were properly stamped.  Creditors are good that way.

Instead, I hunkered down at home with on-line versions of the shows I missed this week due to not taking care of the bills and let the my more sloth-like nature permeate the air.  The BFK was heavily influenced by this, I'm afraid.  After a vigorous bout of Let's Bother Mommy Until She Is Forced To Admit That She Did Not Go To The Greenies Store For Our Treats But Instead Went To The Dollar Store And Thinks I Won't Figure That Out, she gave up and took to her bed.



Or, more properly, her basket.  

From there, she is usually able to watch her programs on the telly.  I don't know how she felt about my using the computer for viewing today.  I'm sure I'll be hearing about it later.

I sat in a yarn-induced coma and knit a mile or so of Invisibility Shawl.


This clever optical illusion brought to you by The Sheepish Annie Foundation For Coming Up With Creative Ways To Make People Think She Has Knit More Than She Really Has.  

I wonder if that is a tax deductible sort of thing.  It does have the word, "Foundation" in it...  I'll have to check that out.  But it still isn't going to do me any good come Monday when I am looking for new and interesting ways to make conversation during the coming week.  I think I'm going to have to dip into my considerable creative resources and come up with some story about saving a kitten from a tree.  Or a well.  It's a work in progress...

Meanwhile, how's everybody coming with those taxes?  It is my understanding that they are due sometime soon.  I'm still not telling whether or not I've broken down and hit the "send" button on mine.  I could still be playing my cat 'n mouse game with the IRS.  Or maybe not.  Time will tell.  But I do believe I've broken a record this year.  Although whether it is my all-time best Wait 'Em Out performance, I'll not say just yet.  

Anyone taking bets?  For what it's worth, failing to get the taxes out on time might just break up the monotony a bit and give me a fun story to tell...

SA

11 comments:

Mouse said...

I'm sad that today is the last day for our Spring break.. I'm not looking forward to getting up at 6am again this week.

Beth said...

Hmm...my guess is that you're still waiting. So is my husband, but not because he likes to wait. He just doesn't have them done yet. Tonight's the night.

catsmum said...

okay I'm all caught up on my Sheepie news - knitting looks goooood, BFK looks sulky and to show you how far back I had to read - I SO need very specific instructions for your made-in-a-bag ice cream - although I have no idea what half and half is or if we even have something vaguely resembling it here.

Lynn said...

It seems to me that your 'cat and mouse' game with the IRS has the makings of a good blog contest of some kind. I think that sounds like a good project for your weekend!

Lynn

(of course, since it was my idea, I should get an extra chance or two at winning -- RIGHT?)

Kath said...

Kitties just don't understand the importance of having a sufficient supply of snack cakes. Clearly we have different priorities and after all the time they have spent trying to train us, the fault is obviously ours.

Mel said...

I wish my job had a spring break.

Julie said...

I'm guessing that you've broken your record for the earliest you've hit the send button.

April said...

I haven't even done my taxes yet. When are they due again? Tuesday? Bah, plenty of time.

trek said...

Push the button: they owe you money.

Quasi said...

I’d like to tell you that I’ve written a scathingly funny book, The World Is Your Litter Box, which will be out May 6th. The book is cleverly disguised as a cute cat book so humans will buy it, but is, in fact, a how-to manual FOR cats. Check it out on my website, www.theworldisyourlitterbox.com.

Mia said...

How dare that child make any comment regarding your stocking up for The End of Times.... I mean really, does toilet paper even come in anything LESS than 24 roll packs?? (can you tell I just re-stocked ::laughing::)