Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Cue Spooky Music...

Welcome, Creatures Of The Night!! It is time for the Spook-tacular version of The Wednesday Night Bullet Post, brought to you by the witches, goblins, reapers, Spider Men, Shreks and all the other stuff that comes with Halloween! Gather your loved ones close, grab yourself a snack-sized Snickers bar and gaze in horror as The Sheep (appropriately clad in black) tries to make the mundane goings on in her life sound interesting:

*My prediction that none of the students in my class who partook of the Trick-or-Treating festivities in their community last night would bring me a peanut butter cup today was a little bit off. One lone student presented me with a shopping bag full of candy and offered me a piece of the loot.

*Unfortunately, this offer came at 8:30 in the morning and I wasn't really in the mood. By the time my chocolate cravings woke up, he'd pretty much demolished everything except the fruit-flavored candy and what is the point in that?????

*The comma isn't working well on my keyboard. I love commas and use them frequently, even when the sentence does not actually require it. This is a problem.

*It would be nice if I had a new computer. That would solve my comma issues quite handily. I do not have a new computer.

*I do, however, have the name of the second-in-command at the tech. department. Thus, even with the director on vacation and temporarily out of my reach, there is someone to whom I can direct my daily hate-filled emails which express my displeasure over my new laptop not having been delivered yet.

*Note: The fact that the computer has not actually been delivered has not deterred the school department from deducting my monthly payments from my meager wages every two weeks. I don't need commas to write hate-filled emails when my check is being tampered with and I have no new computer.

*I stood at the grocery store for ten full minutes in the candy aisle trying to decide on a treat for the kids who probably won't visit tonight. (if you don't buy candy, they come in droves) I had to find something that wouldn't tempt my sweet tooth but was acceptable enough to the little monsters that they wouldn't egg my car. Tricky...

*I went with Tootsie Rolls. If you told me right now that I could never, ever eat another Tootsie Roll, I could still die happy.

*This doesn't mean I still won't eat them tomorrow for breakfast.

*Look! Here are two of the coolest things ever!!! Maybe I should have said, "warmest..."



Handknit socks and Sheepie slippers!!!
*With the temperatures dropping at long last, it is time for the woolly footwear. These are the Socks Of Immense Proportions I knit waaay back in the summer of '06 when I was learning how to knit socks and had a few issues with gauge. But they are surely the finest of warm sleepin' socks I've ever had!!!
*The yarn came to me from April. As did the needles upon which they were knit.
*April used to have a blog. But then she got a horse. And a new career as a professional yarn fondler with fancy new friends. She probably goes to upscale yarn parties where everyone knits with golden needles and talks with an accent. I'm happy for April. But, I miss her.
*Even more than I miss commas...
*The Halloween '07 Zombie Watch Report: I haven't seen a single zombie in the southern Maine area this evening and my regular perusing of internet watch sites is also showing a dearth of the death walkers. Figures. The one night I'm not actually scared of zombies, they are all home watching TV or something.
*I'll still keep checking, though. I consider it a public service.
*Maybe they'll swing by later and take one or two of the Tootsie Rolls off my hands. I can only imagine how much a palate cleanser must be needed after weeks and weeks of nothing but human flesh. Without dessert, how do you know you are done?
And now, my favorite gremlins and ghoulies, I bid you good evening. Keep yourself safe from the creepies and crawlies that are out and about tonight! And don't forget to set aside a little candy for the zombies.
Just in case...
SA

15 comments:

trek said...

Number Guy says that you have desk drawers and should know better than to pass up a chance of scoring some loot.

I miss April, too.

TheAmpuT said...

Without dessert, how do you know you are done.
ROTFLOL

mehitabel said...

Zombies like gummy rats. Ask me how I know... he he he (closest I can come to an evil cackle). Tootsie Rolls are almost as awful as those horrid Necco Wafers. Did you ever try the "chocolate" ones? Ewwwwww!
Pumpkin pie and pasta at the Watterhouse tonight...

Mouse said...

Happy Halloween! (We've been thankfully zombie-free here in GA as well tonight)

Anne said...

Happy Halloween! No zombies here in MA (scared away by the World Series celebration, no doubt). Will your students be suffering sugar hangovers tomorrow like mine?

Julie said...

Tootsie rolls wouldn't last long around me!

I miss April, too!

Julie said...

OMG, I just read mehitabel's comment; I not only love the Tootsie Rolls, but I LOVE the chocolate Necco wafers!

Marianne said...

hahahahaha! that Julie! such a funny lady...
"without dessert, how do you know you are done" I nearly wet my pants.....but no kidding! exactly!
I bought that crazy huge bag of tootsie rolls... one little girl looked in the bowl, looked me straight in the eye and asked "Is this all you have?"...(she might have been 4).

Kath said...

Does the tech department second-in-command like Tootsie Rolls? Or have any other vices?

In one of my previous places of employment (which shall remain nameless) the IT department folks were rather partial to Patron or Cazadores. But you didn't hear that from me. :)

Beth said...

I did see a zombie cheerleader tonight, but it might just have been my next-door neighbor in a costume. I'm not really sure. But I did tell her she was very scary and gave her some candy. That worked and she didn't bother me. But that might have been because the 3 year old Batman that was with her had big muscles. (I'm sure they were totally real and not fake at all.) Let me know if you want me to have him come call on the computer people.

Jeanne said...

So... you need a new comma-puter? HAHAHAHAHAAA!

Sorry. It couldn't be helped. Lack of chocolate.

No zombies here, just five cats and one hermit. And NO CHOCOLATE.

Did I mention there was no chocolate?

Happy 'Ween...

Anonymous said...

We didn't have any zombies either. What's Halloween without zombies??
Next time take the candy and save it for later.
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

tenacious knitter said...

Necco wafers, ewwww! I hated Zagnuts and Butterfingers, too - tootsie rolls aren't bad, but chocolate bars? please, and keep 'em coming.

Great socks! I, too, have bad-gauge socks that are yummy for around the house. If I actually finish something? I'm not getting rid of it!

And if there's lessons on how to get a job as a professional yarn fondler who goes to upscale yarn parties? Sign me up :)

(btw love your blog - funnee!)

Cursing Mama said...

I have it on good authority that zombies LOVE Tootsie Rolls. Just thought you should know.

Denise said...

Lucky for you that hate-filled emails don't really require the comma as much as the exclamation point, right? At least you can keep writing them until the new computer arrives. :-)

We didn't get many trick or treaters this year either. I usually try not to buy any candy I like (like snickers), but this year I made the mistake of buying one small bag of butterfingers. It turns out I do like those after all...sigh.

Our last doorbell ring turned out to be 'children' all at least a foot taller than me. I was admiring one fellow's amazingly life-like full beard and mustache when I realized it was actually the real thing. I half expected them to say 'trick or treat for beer'.