Thursday, July 12, 2007

Preparedness

Before I share another fascinating tale from the experiences that make up my life, I should probably make sure that you all understand the following:

I am in full possession of all faculties, can sign any legal document without asking my mom, and have never once been discovered lurking outside the home of a minor celebrity claiming that the voices told me we were to be joined for life.

I do not eat packing peanuts nor do I count my toes compulsively.

I understand the difference between that which is considered "normal behavior" and anything that falls in the "other" category.

I am not the kind of person for whom the world crosses the street in order that they might avoid breathing my "crazy air."


I know that this seems like an odd way to start a conversation, but you'll see where I'm going with this in just a minute. It all started with the Index Cards. You remember the Cards? I wrote down all the stuff that I thought needed doing this summer while I was on vacation, called this sophisticated system The Index Cards Of Summer Organization and refer to them regularly in order to see what task it is that I need to avoid on any given day. One of those To-Do items was, "clean kitchen cupboards." They need it. They are actually collapsing under the weight of the stuff that is crammed in there. I've been puttering away at this little job for a few weeks now, diligently looking at expiration dates and throwing away things that might kill me. Some of the labels were a bit hard to read given that they were glued to cans that had bulged to the point of distorting the information, but I figured it was probably a safe bet that these contained things that might just be a bit past the point of edible.

This morning I looked at the now empty cupboards and realized that it was time for that little event that I like to call The End Of The World Is Nigh Shopping. I love EOTWINS with a passion that could easily be mistaken for crazy. Are we starting to see a little of the reasoning behind my intro?

I am not what anyone would call organized on any given day. And yet I have a genuine love for disaster preparedness. Should there ever be some sort of catastrophic event such as a natural disaster, zombie attacks, pandemic flu or a series of incredibly bad hair days, then I want to ensure that I have canned goods and other necessities to ride out the quarantine. It's my little back up system. And you just know that the day I let the system slip, all holy heck will break loose.

Laugh if you will, but when zombies are strolling the streets and munching on the brains of the citizenry, I will be happily ensconced in my condo eating canned corn and dancing to my battery powered CD player.

More seriously, I've actually had reason to break into the supplies on occasion. When you are a single gal and in a situation where you can't get out of the house, it is good to know that there is a little soup on hand. The Great Monkey Pox Event Of 2006 was one of those times where fever and general exhaustion meant that I was pretty much trapped. Cans were my friend.

So, I headed out bright and early this morning to begin the process of replenishing the stockpile. I found some delightful tortilla soup that may be a bit "festive" for the apocalypse. But, I went for it anyway. It's not like I'll be able to go out in public at that point. I can eat the spicy foods and not have to worry about the hot pepper breath. In fact, that will be the least of my worries at that point, right? The canned goods are on their way to being at Emergency Ready Levels. The next category to be dealt with is Stuff In Pouches. I rather like Stuff In Pouches. It has a lot of salt. And when you're dealing with the end of the world, water retention, much like the pepper-breath, isn't really much of an issue anymore.

See how much fun this can be? Next week I'm going to update the First Aid kit. I may swoon...

Anyone who hasn't fled the blog in total horror at this point will now be rewarded with some very pretty fiber. Aren't you glad you stuck it out? Yesterday I popped a couple of ounces of incredibly beautiful Targhee that came to me from Susie over at Perchance To Knit. I let it gently bathe in the soothing waters of the Crock Pot with a bit more of the Plum colored dye than one would think advisable for a few hours. It spent the night drying and, in the morning, it declared itself ready for its photo shoot.




Can you stand it? Seriously...is this not beautiful to the point of actually hurting a little bit?
My plan is to blend this with some silk. So a bit of that went into the same pot today with Sapphire Blue dye. I may have gone a bit overboard with that...after about a billion rinses, my hands are still kind of blue from handling it. I suspect that it is going to need a bath with the Synthrapol when all is said and done. But the blue is stunningly deep and rich. I'm waiting for it to dry before further processing. I think it's a winner, though!
What will I do with the resulting yarn? I'm not really sure. It could be a scarf. Maybe some nice handwarmers? A bag, perhaps...
Or how about some can cozies? You know...to keep my End Of The World supplies all safe and snuggly. The End Of Days doesn't necessarily mean we have to turn into savages, after all.
SA

25 comments:

sheep#100 said...

You crack me up.

Anonymous said...

Truly beautiful fiber!

Anonymous said...

Oooo, that fiber is gorgeous! Sapphire blue silk with it? OMG, I think that will be so beautiful it'll hurt!

Lorraine said...

ohhhh. ahhhh. Wow.

LOVE THAT COLOR. Oops, was I shouting? Gorgeous doesn't even come close.

Jeanne said...

Lovely, luscious fiber dyeing! I'm looking forward to seeing the blend with the Sapphire Blue silk! My grocering took place last night. All done for the month. Whew!

Kris said...

Wow the plum color is stunning. Will you blend in the sapphire or leave bits of it visible?

Ronni said...

Beautiful! Both the fiber and the disaster preparedness. Would that I were as organized about that as you. (Hmmm, now that you mention it, I think it is time to swap in new cans of spaghettios for the ones currently in the earthquake stash. I figure if there's a big enough earthquake that I can't get food with two grocery stores in walking distance and two more in biking distance then eating healthy will be the least of our worries.)

I love the plum targhee and can't wait to see the sapphire blue silk.

Anonymous said...

The fiber is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! I can't wait to see the end result. Put a fan on the blue so it dries more quickly, okay? :)

Brandie said...

LOVE that color! OMG! I just love purple!!

Anyway, you reminded me of something I saw earlier and thought of you ... it's directions to make your own Zombie Preparedness Kit ... It sounded right up your alley!

http://www.instructables.com/id/E8QT1H5F23Z3BHC/?ALLSTEPS

Cathy said...

Ooohhhhh, aren't you having a good summer vacation? And entertaining the multitudes too!! So looking forward to your silk.

catsmum said...

it looks a luscious aubergine on my monitor and you already know how much I loves me those blues and plummy tones. Just thank your lucky stars that there's an ocean and a whole continent between us or I might be tempted to mount an assault on the Condo de Sheep.

Donna Lee said...

Wow that is a beautiful purple and I am not generally a purple person. i got the gift certificate to Goose Pond and placed an order for a bagette, a pattern for a sweater that I might actually make for myself and a sheep tape measure to remember the lovely person who gifted me. Thank you. What lovely things they have.

Unknown said...

That color is outstanding! My philosophy is this: worst case senario, a can of lentil soup will at least more satisfying to throw at invading zombies than bunches of celery.

Anonymous said...

Cozies? for your canned goods? Hmmm. Now I have an idea for all that novelty yarn someone gave me.

Punkin

April said...

Ooooooo.

Ooooooooo.

Ooooooooooo.

Oh my God, Sheepie, it's GORGEOUS!

Can I have it?

Anonymous said...

You are making your way through those index cards at lightning speed. Remember to pace yourself. You've still got weeks of summer vacation left.
The fiber is stunning! Whatever you make with it will be lovely.
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

Alwen said...

Wow. I love that purple enough to lie down and roll in it.

Cursing Mama said...

Again with the zombies - I'm starting to think that you're on to something & it's just a matter of time before I wake up and find zombies in the front yard playing in the sprinklers...

Kristi aka Fiber Fool said...

Gorgeous roving! Have you seen the little project bags that Kirsten (Through the Loops) made with her early handspun? Though with silk in it I suspect something next to the skin will be in order?

Anonymous said...

That dyed targhee is painfully gorgeous already. Blended with deep blue silk it will be lethal. I'll be watching the headlines for news of mass death in Main caused by a murderously beautiful luxe objet d'knit.

5elementknitr said...

I'm the SAME way!! I have a stockpile of food, not only in the pantry but an emergency set down in the crawl space in case of tornado! My husband thinks I'm crazy, now I can show him I'm not the only one.

Lovely dye job!

5elementknitr said...

Forgot to say, here's a link to the zombie test. OK, it's a link to my blog and the zombie test I took but the test has a link, too.

http://5elementknitr.blogspot.com/2007/07/its-because-i-can-handle-gun.html

The Kelly Green Rogue said...

I'm totally with you on the preparations, you never know when brain munching zombies will be set loose.

Plus as another single gals who's been forced into the aisle of her local grocery store by need for nourishment when stuffing an infection. It's nice not to have to choose between starving and wonder if you'll faint in the grocery store with the smell of all that nyquil on your breath will they just think you're drunk?

Anonymous said...

You do realize that your Emergency Preparedness kit should include knitting projects and books, right? At least the Earthquake one in my car includes those.

Pretty fibery goodness!

MadMad said...

You mean you're not supposed to eat the packing peanuts?!