Preparedness

Before I share another fascinating tale from the experiences that make up my life, I should probably make sure that you all understand the following:

I am in full possession of all faculties, can sign any legal document without asking my mom, and have never once been discovered lurking outside the home of a minor celebrity claiming that the voices told me we were to be joined for life.

I do not eat packing peanuts nor do I count my toes compulsively.

I understand the difference between that which is considered "normal behavior" and anything that falls in the "other" category.

I am not the kind of person for whom the world crosses the street in order that they might avoid breathing my "crazy air."


I know that this seems like an odd way to start a conversation, but you'll see where I'm going with this in just a minute. It all started with the Index Cards. You remember the Cards? I wrote down all the stuff that I thought needed doing this summer while I was on vacation, called this sophisticated system The Index Cards Of Summer Organization and refer to them regularly in order to see what task it is that I need to avoid on any given day. One of those To-Do items was, "clean kitchen cupboards." They need it. They are actually collapsing under the weight of the stuff that is crammed in there. I've been puttering away at this little job for a few weeks now, diligently looking at expiration dates and throwing away things that might kill me. Some of the labels were a bit hard to read given that they were glued to cans that had bulged to the point of distorting the information, but I figured it was probably a safe bet that these contained things that might just be a bit past the point of edible.

This morning I looked at the now empty cupboards and realized that it was time for that little event that I like to call The End Of The World Is Nigh Shopping. I love EOTWINS with a passion that could easily be mistaken for crazy. Are we starting to see a little of the reasoning behind my intro?

I am not what anyone would call organized on any given day. And yet I have a genuine love for disaster preparedness. Should there ever be some sort of catastrophic event such as a natural disaster, zombie attacks, pandemic flu or a series of incredibly bad hair days, then I want to ensure that I have canned goods and other necessities to ride out the quarantine. It's my little back up system. And you just know that the day I let the system slip, all holy heck will break loose.

Laugh if you will, but when zombies are strolling the streets and munching on the brains of the citizenry, I will be happily ensconced in my condo eating canned corn and dancing to my battery powered CD player.

More seriously, I've actually had reason to break into the supplies on occasion. When you are a single gal and in a situation where you can't get out of the house, it is good to know that there is a little soup on hand. The Great Monkey Pox Event Of 2006 was one of those times where fever and general exhaustion meant that I was pretty much trapped. Cans were my friend.

So, I headed out bright and early this morning to begin the process of replenishing the stockpile. I found some delightful tortilla soup that may be a bit "festive" for the apocalypse. But, I went for it anyway. It's not like I'll be able to go out in public at that point. I can eat the spicy foods and not have to worry about the hot pepper breath. In fact, that will be the least of my worries at that point, right? The canned goods are on their way to being at Emergency Ready Levels. The next category to be dealt with is Stuff In Pouches. I rather like Stuff In Pouches. It has a lot of salt. And when you're dealing with the end of the world, water retention, much like the pepper-breath, isn't really much of an issue anymore.

See how much fun this can be? Next week I'm going to update the First Aid kit. I may swoon...

Anyone who hasn't fled the blog in total horror at this point will now be rewarded with some very pretty fiber. Aren't you glad you stuck it out? Yesterday I popped a couple of ounces of incredibly beautiful Targhee that came to me from Susie over at Perchance To Knit. I let it gently bathe in the soothing waters of the Crock Pot with a bit more of the Plum colored dye than one would think advisable for a few hours. It spent the night drying and, in the morning, it declared itself ready for its photo shoot.

Can you stand it? Seriously...is this not beautiful to the point of actually hurting a little bit?

My plan is to blend this with some silk. So a bit of that went into the same pot today with Sapphire Blue dye. I may have gone a bit overboard with that...after about a billion rinses, my hands are still kind of blue from handling it. I suspect that it is going to need a bath with the Synthrapol when all is said and done. But the blue is stunningly deep and rich. I'm waiting for it to dry before further processing. I think it's a winner, though!

What will I do with the resulting yarn? I'm not really sure. It could be a scarf. Maybe some nice handwarmers? A bag, perhaps...

Or how about some can cozies? You know...to keep my End Of The World supplies all safe and snuggly. The End Of Days doesn't necessarily mean we have to turn into savages, after all.

SA