Thursday, July 05, 2007

Witness Protection Program For Socks

Don't even talk to me about Monkey Socks. They are stupid. I hate them. Stupid, stupid Monkeys. I don't care what anyone says...they are nowhere near us on the genetic spectrum. Hate those Monkeys. They are in time-out.

That's not true. It's not the Monkey's fault. They did their best to please me. They gave me lots of helpful reminders regarding where and when to begin the pattern repeats. Like, for examples, miles of stockinette that represent the bottom of the foot part. All that stockinette is a hint of rather impressive proportions. Apparently, I am incapable of heeding those hints and, as a result, have to tink back yet again to reach a point where the foot of my Monkey Socks are unsullied. They aren't really in time-out. It's more like "protective custody." This particular program is not quite as all-encompassing as that of the federal government or anything. It's more like I hid them in the bottom of the knitting basket and stuck my tongue out at them for a full twenty minutes. But they are safe from me for the time being.

I opted to work on the nice, simple Socks Of Summer for a while. Their bland, boring and yet oh-so-soothing plainness is pretty much what I'm capable of right now. Once I have written out the words, "I will not knit the bottom of my sock in any sort of pattern even if it seems like the right thing to do at the time" 1000 times, then I might feel safe going back to the stupid Monkeys.

So, what else does a Sheep do to fill the hours once she has removed an offending Monkey from her line of vision? Well, she does something else that she doesn't actually love all that much: she breaks out the hand cards. Again, I tell a falsehood. I don't actually hate hand carding wool. I just sort of like the idea of hand carding more than the actual task. I can ponder hand carding for longer periods than I can perform it. Which is why this rather manageable amount of Shetland has taken me three weeks to get to this point:



Hey...at least you can't see a Monkey anywhere.
I probably could have drum carded this wool fairly easily. But, for some reason, it seemed to want to be done by hand. No regrets, really. I think it's the right choice. And it's not like I was going to be spinning it tomorrow or anything. I'll just keep plugging away at it in fits and starts and it'll get done. This is part of the fiber bonanza that came to me from Cathy and it deserves to be done right, dontcha think?
And I'm unclear on whether or not there is a any sort of program designed to keep nice, unspun fiber safe from these hands...best to work at a steady pace and not take any chances.
SA

18 comments:

trek said...

I don't even really know what to say here.

PS - Don't give out the witness protection name by which the Monkey Socks shall be known henceforth.

Jeanne said...

Oh, poor little Monkeys. There were a couple of spots that I had to tink, too, such as right after the turning of the heel where the odd decrease while alternating between pattern and stockinette part happened. It took considerable concentration and I was so glad to be past the decreases.

Don't feel bad, though. I just cast on for the Favorite Socks "Waving Lace" with the scalloped edge. The chart clearly indicates that the first row of the entire sock is all purls.

Naturally, I knit the whole row. ~:-[

Diana said...

Monkey socks are beyond the spectrum of my attention span; therefore, I have not had the pleasure of meeting the barrel of monkies.

Lorraine said...

I won't even mention the name of the offending simian footwear. I'll just admire the soft, puffy clouds of fleece you're turning out and sigh with envy that you even own hand carders and a drum carder.

Bells said...

n68Promise me you'll try them again?

Beth said...

Uhoh...poor Monkeys. Maybe things will look brighter tomorrow.

catsmum said...

Well if YOU hadn't laready made me feel a bit leery of starting " offending simian' socks... well, let's just say Jeanne's comment about the heel decreases has really done it. No pretty but annoying socks for this girlie.
I'll just wander over to the couch and get back to the ripple baby afghan in ACK-crylic.

Lazuli said...

The poor socks! You can't blame them for keeping you on your toes! Well, give them a day of rest, and then see how you feel!

Mel said...

I don't know. Have you ever noticed that 'Monkey Socks' sounds an awful lot like 'Monkey Pox'? I'm beginning to think maybe there's a connection. You shouldn't pass up a perfectly good conspiracy theory, you know.

knitintensity said...

There's nothing wrong with a little sock time out!

April said...

Rumor has it that Zombies are particularly fond of Monkey socks. I'd be checking that lock on the door if I was you ...

"Sheeeeepiiiiie, open the door. I neeeed you ..."

Anonymous said...

One day you will feel better about the Monkeys. They will call to you and you will fix them and knit them and love them. Until that time comes happy spinning!
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

knitseashore said...

It must have been the full moon the other night. None of the projects are behaving! I've ripped two of mine.

Donna Lee said...

I am doing the toe decreases of my first monkey sock and it only took 23 bazillion tries to get it right. I kept asking myself how many times would I rip it out before I gave it up. I haven't found out but I am very apprehensive about starting number 2. If the zombies really do like them, then I will keep the pair to throw out the door to distract them so I can run away!

Cathy said...

You mean I owe Anne big time for making me a pair of Monkey socks without even my whinging?

Uh-oh.

Does this mean I owe her?

Uh-oh.

Wooly Wonka fibers here I come.

BTW, your Shetland looks wonderful. So soothing. So well-behaved. Just what you needed.

Rani said...

I will openly admit that I have had a lavish affair with my Monkey Sock (you heard me - singular - sock)

But that's not to say that I don't have several 'other' items on the bottom of my knitting basket that I have restraining orders against.

You did the right thing. Deep breath and walk away.

Carrie K said...

Slow and steady, that's the way to hand card.

Bad monkeys! Bad monkeys! and now I have the Monkee's theme song running through my head. How could you?

Julie said...

Hmmm, maybe I'm not so anxious to start some Monkey's of my own after all.