Ready? Set? Snore.

The Sheep's Pre-Teacher's Workshop Checklist:

1. Ipod charged, audiobook downloaded and earbud hiding hairstyle confirmed? Check

2. School issued laptop (that I am supposed to have for tech. based workshops that I may or may not have signed up for) charged? Check

3. Supply of granola bars and apples tucked into the tote bag in order to replace the lunchtime fare provided by the school district and which is guaranteed to induce a carbohydrate stupor? Check

4. 7 pairs of new underpants washed and ready to go in the event that the day is marked by an invasion of panty-stealing-terrorists and the 47 pairs I already had in reserve were not enough? Check (honestly...I thought I had this little shopping quirk under control. I don't know what happened!)

5. The Sheep's patented "I am so very interested in this topic and do not know how I survived without this knowledge until now and of course I don't mind if that lady in the back asks ten more questions that will result in our extending this workshop for another twenty minutes" facial expression rehearsed and ready for display? Check

6. Alarm clock set for correct wake-up time? Back-up alarm clock set for ten minutes after correct wake-up time? Remember last Monday? Do we want to oversleep on the day that we will be greeted by the superintendent of schools at the door? Hmmm...do we??? Check

7. And, most importantly, knitting pattern and yarn decided upon, pattern practiced and enough progress made that it will look like I just scooped it up and stuffed it in my bag upon leaving the house rather than agonizing over the whole thing all weekend? Check

Looks like I've got the bases covered! I'm ready to spend two days trapped at the high school, developing a hatred of all things Power Point and knitting my little heart out, all at taxpayer's expense. It is a fair trade, though. I have their children for much of the calendar year. Think of it as my Thanksgiving present.

The scarf pattern for this little extravaganza was far more of a drama than I'd anticipated. I usually, at the very least, have a few thoughts for wanna-do's at this point in the year. At best, I'm well on my way with the holiday knitting and have several things from which to choose. This year, however, I was at a loss. Feather And Fan is lovely, but requires some counting and I can't do that while faking interest in something else. I can't knit socks because I need the freedom to cuss every now and again and this is frowned upon in the school setting. Frankly, I blame the whole thing on my having developed a few new skills since last year, none of which are secure enough that I can do them in public and all of which have made me a bit critical of the simpler projects that made me so happy in the way-back-when.

Thankfully, The Harlot posted a fairly simple pattern for a scarf not too long ago which features a one row repeat with pretty obvious "do this here" places in the stitches. Thus, I will not be sitting in the back row of the auditorium for half an hour after the last workshopper has left for his appointed session mumbling, "what was I supposed to be doing on the third stitch???" No scarf is worth having to explain to the principal why one of his teachers was found weeping and shaking her needles at the unforgiving knitting gods.

I'm pretty much exhausted from all this preparation. The amount of work I will put into avoiding actual work is really quite impressive. But I did it! There will be no other participant in these workshops that has more in the way of "avoidance activities" than I, your Humble Sheep. I will also have more clean underwear, but I'm not really sure that this is something about which to brag. It is probably more of a disorder of some sort, I fear.

I'm gonna go spin something now...






SA