Sunday, November 12, 2006

Car Repair Secret Revealed!

Well, it has taken The Sheep a while to catch on to this, but there has been something of a revelation today. An Auto Epiphany, if you will. The Sheep has learned the secret to communicating with the "car guys."

I's amazing. I will be saving thousands of dollars here! I have been at their mercy for years now due to my inherent stupidity when it comes to the mechanical operation of motor vehicles. I know that you put gas in them. I know that when you turn the key the radio will come on. I have finally figured out how to operate the controls on my moon roof. But that is the extent of my automotive expertise. In the past, I have bowed to the mechanic's wishes. I figure that they probably know what they are doing. I mean, how else would they have gotten all those certificates that are displayed so proudly upon the walls? Today however, being somewhat beaten down by the sheer amount of work and dollars this truck has required of me, I tried something a little different.

I walked confidently into the car-fixy-place and said, "Good morning, fine sir. I am The Sheep. I have a 9:00 appointment for an oil change and alignment. I look forward to another hour of my life that I will never get back spent in your lovely establishment. Oh, and by the way, the engine light is on and we are choosing to ignore that, okey-dokey? Glad we're all on the same page. I'll just be in the waiting area."

(By the way, that sound you are hearing right now is Daddy Sheep having some sort of cerebral event and scrambling for the phone to revoke my status as an adult and demand that I surrender my vehicle until I am responsible enough to own one. DS is quite knowledgeable about cars and I fear that I am sometimes a bit of a trial to him...but I can explain this! Just wait a second!!!)

This stupid truck has been reduced to a simpering pile of wimpy-ness in the presence of rain on many an occasion. Until it is given dry gas, it will throw these little tantrums. As a counselor and teacher of children with behavioral and emotional impairments for nigh on twenty years now, I know better than to reward bad behavior. Yes, I gave it the dry gas. The light will go out in about 48 hours.

And yes, this is an issue with which I must contend at some point. And I will. But not until I have the resources to do it. I am a girl. I must factor certain things into the budget like frilly goo-gaws and hair ribbons. And food. And shelter. I like all the aforementioned. Despite the car guy's misgivings, there was little noted wrong with the vehicle during the once-over he insisted upon.

This is the first time in over a year that a trip to the mechanic has cost me less than a hundred dollars. It seems that they have to do what you ask. I did not know this... I will file it away under, "useful information to have."

While at the garage, I spent some quality time with the Feather And Fan scarf. This, in hindsight, might have been something of a judgment error as I was a bit preoccupied with the possibility of the mechanic guy finding something horrible going on with my vehicle like rats in the rotors or evidence of alien abduction. This seemed to impair my ability to count to six with any real effectiveness and several rows were tinked as I sat amongst the tire displays. But, more was gained than lost, so I suppose we can call this a, "win."

I returned home flush with success between the knitting and repair bill and blended some more of the black corriedale with the metallic sparklies so that I could continue spinning the yarn for my stylist's handwarmers. I also cast on for a mitten since I am clearly made of Teflon right now and can do no wrong. I might even have another Christmas gift ready to go come the 25th of December. And since the whole "denial" thing worked so well at the garage this morning, I am even going to knit blithely on despite the questions I have right now with regard to gauge on these little babies. What could possibly go wrong?????

All in all, not such a bad day, despite losing an hour of it to the car dudes and the ridiculous amount of rain that has landed on our heads up here in the great state of Maine today. Of course this means more dry gas for the truck...

Again I say, "what could possibly go wrong?" (and I am humbly requesting that you not answer that question)



Geraldine said...

Wow, you are on a dudes eating out of your hooves, right on Sheep!!!

Rain and some cars do not mix, don't know why but its a fact.

Huggs, G

Anonymous said...

You should write a book. Something like " A woman's Guide to Auto Repair".

Teri S. said...

Do not not ask what could go wrong. That's just inviting trouble to come visit, especially with the rain and such.

Hmmm...gauge not knit blithely on. At least do a size check to make sure that they aren't large enough for King Kong. Then you can knit blithely on!

trek said...

Yep, they have to do what you say. Doesn't that give you a real sense of empowerment?

Sorry about the PC language.

Sheila said...

I almost never make a gauge swatch (I hope none of my knitting students read your blog), and I've only had one FO, in 20 years of knitting, that didn't fit, so knit on with confidence. After all, mittens can be fulled if too large, and given to a neice-by-proxy if too small.

Sounds as if Amy The Stylist got the blondification just right!!

Beth said...

I had to ask my husband what dry gas is. It turns out he had to use it once in his car - when he was a co-op student in Maine! Must be something going on up there.

Brandie said...

Oh, I think you are on a roll today and nothing can go wrong. :::crossing my fingers::: that nothing does go wrong!

Lorraine said...

Way to go! My DH hates when I have to take the car in. It requires at least two phone calls and handing the cell phone to the mechanic so he can set the mechanic straight. Maybe I should go just blonde enough to get service without getting taken? How busy is your stylist? How much would a ticket to Maine cost?

Anonymous said...

Being a single (and very suspicious) woman - here's my favorite phrase to use on a mechanic - "That's really great! I'll ask my mechanic about that!" Usually stops them dead in their tracks.

Bobbi said...

I actually look forward to things like getting my oil changed because it means forced, basically uninterupted reading or knitting time. It's nice not to have to make up an excuse why I'm not doing the dishes. :)