Monday, November 13, 2006

Curses...Foiled Again!

Sheep are not known for "luck." If they were then we might have their hooves on keychains or spend more time rubbing their wooly heads. Still and all, I like to think that the average Sheep about town might catch a break every now and again. Yesterday was just such a day. I was on a roll. My cup runneth over with the glad tidings and stuff. I was so full of my Sheepie self that I foolishly asked the question, "What could possibly go wrong?"

Well, lemme tellya! I could, for example, oversleep this morning. And not by a little. I overslept enough that I needed to call the school and "make arrangements." It was enough that I felt the need to perform the "Dance Of The Panicked Sheep" as I hastily attempted to pull my sleep-puffy self together in order that I might avoid frightening small children upon my eventual arrival in the classroom. Why is it that we think our moving faster and with flapping arms will somehow be more efficient in these situations? In reality, we are just pajama clad, wild haired, crease-faced beings expending energy that is not directed wholly at the actual problem.

And things get knocked over. Toes get stubbed. But we do it anyway. Moving at anything other than a frenzied pace seems to imply that we don't fully understand the depth of the crisis.

Adding to the morning's adventures was my inability to understand a simple sociological concept: If you're gonna put on a show then you're gonna attract an audience. Both cats could not have been more pleased to have some impromptu entertainment this morning. Had they the power of speech, they probably would have requested popcorn and a program. There was not a single spot where I tried to place a foot that was not occupied by an observing feline.

For the record, loud cursing and additional frenzied arm movements do not improve this situation. Although I doubt I will be able to access this little piece of information should the situation present itself again. Human nature will "out", I guess.

As I staggered out the door, coffee in hand and a half-eaten bagel firmly clamped between my teeth, I had an epiphany! It occurred to me that I might have a little ace in the hole on this one, something to encourage a little pity for my lateness. I am quite fortunate to have an understanding principal, but it never hurts to play the "girl" card every once in a while. And I have a doozy! An engine light, by gum! I can claim vehicular difficulty. That'll deflect the blame nicely. And I can prove it! I still have a good twelve hours before the truck realizes that the dry gas has been administered. And if I can maybe muster up a girl-tear or two...

And, guess what? The stupid light was out. Nary a flicker. Despite buckets of rain pounding on it's metallic head and seeping into it's every nook and cranny, the truck has decided that it will now behave.

Sheep are not known for their luck. Even when things are going as they should, there is always a twist to the plot. I'm not sure if I'm being punished for the cockiness of yesterday's post or for thinking of stretching the truth a bit with regard to my tardiness today. I'm just gonna lie low and drape myself in four leaf clovers and garlic to ward off the bad mojo for a couple of days.

Dare I knit tonight? Will I impale myself? Will a wayward strand of yarn somehow leap up and throttle me when I get up to get a drink? Will I sit on a darning needle? One must think of these things...




It was a good show, folks. I laughed, I cried...I was riveted. I'm planning on getting tickets to her one woman rendition of "Holy Crap, I've Forgotten To Bake The Christmas Cookies" next month. I hear good things...
SA

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Boy oh boy. If you are going to knit tonight, go carefully. Very, very carefully. Blood on WIP is never a good thing.

Beth said...

Oh, waking up late is one of my fears! Poor Sheep!

Debby said...

It's Monday. It's the 13th. So the knitting goddess is probably not in a good mood and I'd go strictly stockinette tonight if I were you...lace is out of the question.

I wore a plain pink sweater to the grocery store today, and it was uneventful. :)

April said...

What in God's name is DRY GAS? Is that like a "silent but deadly"?

You Americans confuse the heck out of me.

Anonymous said...

Some days it's better to just pull the covers over your head and not move...
Karen
http://nothingbutknit.blog-city.com/

catsmum said...

thankyou April for asking that question... I thought I was the only one around who didn't understand. Now I realise that it's an american thing and I am tingling with anticipation of sheepie enlightenment on the subject of dry gas :]

Kate said...

Flapping my arms and swearing doesn't speed the process? I'm screwed. My animals will be treated to the, "where the hell did I put the wrapping paper I bought on clearance last year?" show soon.

trek said...

So, did you knit? Or spin last night?

G said...

Heh be careful with those knitting needles!!! Hope today is a better day all around.

Huggs, G

The Mitz said...

Oh P and D ya must of had a goooooood time. I love it when the humans are in a hurry or late for something...thats when I pull out all the stops: hiding, spitting up my dindin, getting under their enormous feet...you know the drill.

Sounds like my kind of fun, snort,snort....

Headbonks, The Mitz

Knittymama said...

God, I hate being late as a teacher. Nothing like having to have one of my colleagues give up some of their precious prep time to sit with my munchkins while I try to get to school on time. Only happened once, but it SUCKS!

Cathy said...

Okay - it must be a Maine thing. I'm in the West and I have never heard of dry gas. But then, I have never heard of a lot of things you do. Yeah. Really. Not me.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, dear Sheep! But you were warned. When I'm late, I accept it, revel in it, take my time. I usually end up being only a little late - usually.

Lori said...

I vote for four leaf clovers and garlic, for sure! Umm, but don't knit with the garlic!

DS said...

Your Xmas present came yesterday. Does that improve your day? DS

Diana said...

I give the sheep credit for going to school. I would have pulled the covers over my fleece and gone back to bed. Sheep need extra sleep!