Bringin' It.

After Thursday's sad effort at justifying the lack of knitting progress, I knew it was time to step things up a bit. This is no way to live! If this Sheep is going to make it in the big, bad world of knitting blogs, she's going to have to make more of an effort!

I put my nose to the grindstone, my shoulder to the wheel and my mind to the task at hand. The needles flew and the yarn spun itself off the skeins madly. Sheepie brung it!

And so, without further ado, I give you that endless bit of knitting that just wouldn't seem to give me the satisfaction of a bind off...

The Nubbins Dishcloth!!!

What's that you say? A whole lotta build up for one little bit of garter stitch? Well, I might point out that this was endless garter stitch, but I don't suppose that would make much of a difference to you. You want more for your blogging dollar! Fine. I hear you. How about this?

Not one, but two...

Infamous Darrell Waltrip Cloths!!!

And in two sizes no less! On the lower right we have the "Let's just use up that last little bit of cotton" version and on the upper left we have the larger "Why the heck did I buy a whole cone of cotton???" version. Together, they make a fine pair and perhaps convince you of my knitting prowess.

(I dunno who that Darrell feller is, but I guess he makes a fine dishcloth. He's probably a famous cotton farmer or something...)

(I'm kidding. I just like outing a few indignant NASCAR fans whenever I get the chance.)

Wait. Do I still see some unimpressed faces out there? Are there a couple of you thinking that I'm just playing and not really bringin' it? Oh, it's been broughten. Sheepie is exhausted from lugging all thing-bringin' over here for you. This is my A Game, people.

Feast your eyes:

It's the Rose Trellis Scarf!

Yeah. That's right. I styled it. I styled it up gooooood!!! That's what we Bringers Of Knitting Game do, you know. I broke out the dollar store plastic roses and made photographic magic happen because that's what this scarf deserves. But I suppose there are probably a few purists out there who don't want the distraction of artistic photography and who would rather actually see the scarf. I didn't forget you. I got your back. Even if I don't fully understand your prejudice against plastic floral arrangements...

Stark. Boring. But I aim to please.

Yeah, I think it's safe to say we ain't playin' here. We come to knit. And knit we did. I won't lie to you and say that my hands aren't a bit sore from all that wrangling of cotton, but I'm not one to give in to the pain. When it's time to prove my mad knitting skills, I go for broke.

I can imagine that you are all just a bit awe-struck at the moment. You probably can't even find the words to describe someone so gifted with sticks and string as I. I understand that. I sometimes even find myself amazed to the point of speechlessness when I gaze with wide-eyed wonder upon that which I have wrought. It's powerful and soul-stirring. The words simply will not come...

Hi. Allow me to help you with that. I believe the phrase you are looking for is "Delusions of grandeur." You're welcome.

SA